CSA + Location

[purpledahlia]

Does anyone know if the father has to pay whatever amount to visit the child that they take it off the maintenence? He says that they take into acc travel expenses, Now he lives in London and im in Scotland.

He just told me he plans to open a savings acc for her for newborns and save into it each month, and its for when shes older. I said what about what she needs now??

Also for those kinds of savings does he need a copy of the BC?? will he have to be on it?? im stressing out its gonna be a huge argument when it comes to the BC. I am gonna have about 3 weeks after shes born to reg her without him being up here.... hes gonna go mad but i do not want him on it.

He just wants control over the money, he said why would CSA get involved isnt that only if theres disputes? i told him no because im on Income Support they involve themselves,

Now i have a feeling hes gonna say hes saving ill have no proof or access and he will get out of maintenence for travel expenses and ill be left with like no money. I wouldnt mind having no money from him if he wasnt involved, but he wants to be.. yet doesnt seem like he will contribute.

So basically hes not gonna pay anything for 18years then give her a few thousand.. which would get squandered by an 18yr old and ill have to contine to struggle and support her on my own.

 

[purpledahlia]

anyone?

 

[expecting09]

I have no idea about him needing to be on BC to open her bank account. Has he said why he cant give you the money instead of putting it in an account for her? And I'm not sure about travel expenses and the CSA, the CSA just confuses me to no end lol. Didn't wanna read and run

You could always open a bank account for her and give him the details, he can put half the money in there so it's saving up abit, then half the money to you for her living costs etc

 

[purpledahlia]

thats a good idea, we didnt talk into detail too much but he kept saying about ' his intentions ' but i was like what the hell ARE they?!? cos uve not told me! and he said hes gonna open an acc and put money in each month. said whats it for.. and he said for when shes older, i said what about what she needs now??? and he carried on talking about other things. I dont even know how much he is gonna put in, cud be a bleedin tenner.

But as she gets older and needs school uniforms n things hes gonna have to contribute towards he living costs if he wants to be involved. Cant just come up and buy her some toys,! shes not gonna be spoilt and isnt gonna get toys to make up for the fact im on my own, that leads to a spoilt bratty child. If she deserves a treat fair enough but not for no reason.

 

[lauren-kate]

They 'can' take money out of CSA for travel costs, but they don't always. Ryan's Dad tried this.. I think, but I haven't heard anything since so I assume it got turned down? I think they assess a lot of things before coming to a decision.

Also, when he tried to open a bank account for Ryan.. they wouldn't let him do it because his address wasn't the same as mine. There were quite a few problems and it ended up that he wasn't able to. He had the birth certificate, but they just wouldn't let him open an account for Ryan.

He didn't want to go through CSA either. He kicked off about it and said he wanted receipts for everything I bought with the money.. it got a bit silly (which is when he stopped seeing Ryan). BUT, it confirmed to me that going through them was the best idea as neither of us could mess the other around with money - changing the amount, the day it was paid, delays in payment, being short one week, etc.

 

[purpledahlia]

oh thats interesting,

Well im assuming London to central scotland, it can cost quite a lot, a few hundred a trip. including bnb or hotel, so if they asses that then i might get zero?

I dont want him to only put money away for her, he should contribute now, he hasnt so far. ~But yeah good point if he has a diff adress then prob wont be able to ? he wont have BC either, or same name.

 

[lauren-kate]

I think he'd only be able to do it if he just set up his own account.. like in his own name and paid money in saying it was for baby.

Have had a look into travel costs, but I can't find a lot of information (had this problem before!). It would appear that they can reduce the payment if the paying parent has to travel more than 15 miles. Nothing else seems clear though. It might be worth talking to someone at CAB, or CSA to find out more about the effect of travel costs on maintenance payment.

 

[purpledahlia]

yeah i couldnt find any info either, rubbish. I will speak to my dad and ask him to take me to CAB when shes born and also to write a will with his solicitor.

 

[starbucks101]

Yes - they can & quite possibly will reduce maintenace for travelling expenses, but it is by pittance... so wont make much of a difference to you

No - He will not be able to open a bank account for her as its bloody difficult for a mum to do it let alone a dad!

Also, You should put him on the birth certificate as by not doing so you are denying your child their family history. I dont like the FOB is on DD's cert, But that bit of paper is her identity and I do not have the right to take any of that away from her!

 

[hypnorm]

let him pay in to her child trust fund that way he knows it will be going to her and can't be spent on other things.

Also if you are wanting him to pay money for baby then i think he has a right to be on the birth certificate, as one of the girls above said whether you like it or not he is part of her, and he can request his name to be put on if he goes through a dna test in the future.

 

[starbucks101]

let him pay in to her child trust fund that way he knows it will be going to her and can't be spent on other things.

Thats a good idea!

 

[sweetlullaby]

I would go to citizens advice bureau and get their advice! the whole csa thing completly confuses me as well! I think they can take travel expenses into account but i dont think they would consider the whole amount it would cost him getting from london to scotland because at the end of the day he has to make some sort of effort to see his daughter and if it costs him money he should be willing to pay it as its for his daughter type thing!

The whole bank account thing i think he's being a complete idiot (il probably get the same from FOB) because basically as you've said it would be you managing on your own for 18 years then him handing your daughter at 18 as you said a couple of thousand pounds that she would just either blow on rubbish or use for uni or towards a car or something! He would be better going through csa, paying his bit etc and if he really wants to you could open an account for your daughter (like the child trust fund one)(i dont think he can open one with different addresses, different names etc) and he could pay money into it every now and then for when she's older or something! But to me it sounds like he's trying to avoid having csa involved and having a percentage of his wages etc took off him!!

Im not too sure if iv been any help whatsoever coz i dont have a clue either as havnt experienced it all yet lol xx

 

[purpledahlia]

He is not going on the Birth Certificate. He is not having that power over me to control mine and my childs life, i will not put us ina situation where we need his permission for anything. I dont WANT him to pay and see her i think hes an arse and would be happier if he just left us to it alone forever.

however as he wants to see her i wont stop him, he can come up whenever he wants and visit her. But i know for a fact he says this but when the time comes, he wont. he says now he wants to come up once a week, fine by me, totally unrealistic to him. he MIGHT make it once every 2 months. but whatever, whenever.

I am not denying my child anything, im protecting her.

Good news about the bank acc, he was probably just saying that anyway. He can pay into her child trust fund thats a better idea. Ive no idea how they work yet but im assuming when its opened i can put money in aswell?? i was just gonna open her an acc joined onto mine. but atm im in no position to save extra all the money i get we need to live off. He probably only wants to pay money into an acc to make himself feel better. Money doesnt make him a father. but i dont wanna be played for a fool.

 

[suzanne108]

https://www.csa.gov.uk/en/PDF/leaflets/new/CSL303.pdf

Check page 28...I don't know much about it but I know that the CSA will take into account excessive travel costs. Think this depends whether you moved away or if he did? If it was long distance then I have no clue. Its something I need to look into myself!! xx

 

[purpledahlia]

cool thanks, If were entitled to anything then cool if not then, oh well. We will get by. The jobcentre have already told me that once shes born they will be informing the CSA and then they will contact me, new rules apparently. so involving them is out my hands.

 

[suzanne108]

I would rather involve them anyway to be honest...maybe thats me being naive because I've heard they can be a pain! BUT....I personally don't trust FOB to go to the bank and set up a standing order I have no faith hehe.

If I decide to get maintenance (still in two minds!) then I'll be using the csa! x

 

[purpledahlia]

well i dont trust him to set up a SO either, he didnt even say he would, he says he will help but only by a savings acc of his, for her, for when shes older.I said what about what she needs now? not right now, but when shes at school.. uniform etc.. its be much better helping with that SURELY? i think he just doing it / saying it to make himself feel better. he has no intentions of doing anything i told him that untill i see any proof i wont believe anything he says anymore. so time will tell.

 

[suzanne108]

Argh it pisses me off when men say things like that!!!

Thing is....you'll be paying for her everyday stuff like food, nappies, roof over her head, toiletries, clothes.....essentials. And, I know that personally I'd like to pay into savings for LO aswell if I can afford to, if not straight away then definitely when I'm back at work and can afford to. I'm sure you will probably want to do the same at some point in the future.....so why the hell does he get a choice between the two?!! Its nice for them to turn 18 and know they'd have money for a car or house deposit or uni fees but like you say...what about the stuff she needs straightaway??!!! MY GOD they piss me off!!! Not only are we expected to financially support our LOs, we are also expected to have the sleepless nights, the tough decisions, the whole responsibility of having a child ALONE because they weren't man enough to step up to the mark!!!!!! I know we're all quite happy to go it alone now that we've realised what tw@ts our FOBs are but it just annoys me. He probably thinks he's father of the year for offering to pay into a savings account....when he is actually a tw@t!!

Sorry....

 

[purpledahlia]

exactly!

hes done nothing but give me empty promises and lie so far, i dont see it changing. And the funny thing is, in scotland you dont have to pay uni fees!!!

 

[suzanne108]

exactly!

hes done nothing but give me empty promises and lie so far, i dont see it changing. And the funny thing is, in scotland you dont have to pay uni fees!!!

BONUS!!!

She can get a car or house then....if you'll let her move out hehe! xx