Currently miscarrying...

[Classic Girl]

Hi. I'm an older mom...42 with a 16 year old son and an 8 year old daughter who remarried 2 years ago to the greatest man alive who is 34 and has no biological kids but very much wants one. I was done. Very done but love him beyond belief and decided we'd have my IUD taken out and see what happened. It was only out 2 months before I got pregnant but in those 2 months I fell in love with the idea of having his baby, became a POAS addict...and had an abnormal pap, a colposcopy and a LEEP procedure done because my OB knew what we were trying to do. Feb 3rd I had the procedure...valentines Day I got my BFP and gave it to my hubby as his gift. No one expected it so soon.....and I guess deep down in my heart...I knew it was too soon...or too easy...or something. I am/was 5 weeks 5 days today and started bleeding on Saturday. On call dr said it was common when she called back on a Saturday night. My OB who I called this morning had some nurse return my call at 4:10 WHILE I was in the ER! Like...6 hours later to tell me to come do another HCG. What?? I had to know something...I paid the $200 copay at the ER and my levels have dropped to 212 (they'd only gotten as high as 286 last Thursday which bothered me way more than my OB). My emotions are all over the place. I feel like I let hubby down in some way although I know HE doesn't feel that way at all. I guess I just needed to vent.

 

[Autumn leaves]

Oh classic girl I am so very sorry to read this . Very cruel and unfair. You havnt let husband down, you opened up to the gift he is longing for and that's a great shower of affection in itself. What may help you in the future going forward is that next time it'll be a new egg, a new sperm and a new month. For now delve into the grieving and ride it out until you start to feel better, you will in time. Hugs to you xx

 

[Classic Girl]

Thank you.i posted an update in the over 35 pregnancy group and got no responses and I guess I just needed some support. I find myself wanting to be alone right now. I guess to go through the emotional roller coaster without bringing anyone else into it. If I cry, my husband cries and the guilty feelings return.

 

[43motherof6]

You've replied to my posts and I desperately needed someone. Unfortunately I can't figure out how to answer an individual comment like I see everyone doing. I'm very sorry for your loss but if you go back to my thread I've left some comments on there intended for you. I also messaged you but it didn't seem to go through. You need your husband tested for cf carrier gene right away.

 

[43motherof6]

I'm didn't realize how young your children were. .I'm sorry. I didn't find out about the gene until my last two. .asked why I had never been told before and they said it was a newer thing they were testing for. That was with my 16 year old. Now that I see your children's ages of course you know. .not meaning to sound like a know it all. After words have my older four checked for the gene for when they started to have children. And sure enough all six fell in the 50%..couldn't have one in the completely unaffected group! ! The funny thing is that I can poke my husband about is they got his mutated gene. So I always tell him they got the best of me and the worst of him😂

 

[43motherof6]

But the important thing is that you know you can try again. A miscarriage is never a failure. It's hard sometimes to not blame yourself or wonder if you did something wrong, But you didn't. And you and your new husband will go on to have a beautiful new little one to add to your family. God Bless, it all works out in the end.

 

[Kiwiberry]

I am so sorry

 

[mrs unicorn]

I'm am so sorry you are going through this. Even though I am currently going through it myself it's so hard to offer any words of support. I felt the same - it being too perfect, it was our 3rd cycle, first baby and would have been due in September which was perfect for us. I let myself think 'it was always too perfect' for a few moments and tried to move away from that because you just end up torturing yourself. It beaks my heart to hear to say you feel like you have let your DH down. I'm not sure how to help you with those feelings but try to think of it like it was something you did together, created together, and will work through together. Please don't try to bare the burden all by yourself because it's not all on you. It's a horrible horrible thing to go through, something I never imagined we would have to, but you need each other more than ever. Don't tip toe around each other worrying about upsetting the other or saying the wrong thing. I found the more honest we are the (ever so slightly) easier it has been to work through these emotions.

It's now 5 days since we saw an empty sac at 10 weeks, and although I'm in limbo waiting to either mc naturally or make it to the end of the week for a d&c, I am feeling better. Not recovered but better than I did. talking and talking has helped me work through it. I really hope you manage to find some comfort soon, but please please don't blame yourself. You need to be so very kind to yourself at this time. Xx

 

[Classic Girl]

It's been 5 days since the bleeding started. I made it through work fine on Tuesday and Wednesday. Today...about 3/4 of the way through, I lost it. I had to leave bc the tears wouldn't stop. I've never had an m/c before. Emotions are very normal I'm sure but is this part (like right now) related to hormones? I feel numb and empty and the last 2 days work has gotten my mind off of it but everything became SO overwhelming today.

 

[Classic Girl]

I'm didn't realize how young your children were. .I'm sorry. I didn't find out about the gene until my last two. .asked why I had never been told before and they said it was a newer thing they were testing for. That was with my 16 year old. Now that I see your children's ages of course you know. .not meaning to sound like a know it all. After words have my older four checked for the gene for when they started to have children. And sure enough all six fell in the 50%..couldn't have one in the completely unaffected group! ! The funny thing is that I can poke my husband about is they got his mutated gene. So I always tell him they got the best of me and the worst of him😂

I just saw this. I AM a CF gene carrier.

 

[Sarinia17]

I'm am so sorry for your loss. My husband and I found out we we're expecting (our first) on July 17th, 2018. We spent over a year trying to get pregnant (I have to use Provera and Clomid to help me cycle and ovulate as I do not do it on my own) Starting August 4th, 2018 I began to bleed and by Tuesday we lost the baby. I have to say it was the hardest thing we have ever been through. We didn't realize how you could love something so much and never of met or get to meet. We have shed our tears over the past few nights and we are still struggling and probably always will. But, I have learned; that staying positive and supporting each other is best thing we can do. We are very excited that we can try again in 1 month.

My thoughts and prayers are with whomever has to go through a miscarriage. It is very hard to deal with, but try and stay positive. That little heart beat you desire will come when God plans it to be.