dad who does nothing

Discussion in 'Baby Club' started by laura&babybilly, Sep 28, 2006.

  1. laura&babybilly

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    my son is now 10 weeks old, and since he was born, i reckon my partner has held him 4 or 5 times, for a few minutes at a time.
    he has never changed a nappy, never bathed him, he has done nothing at all with him, even when he comes home from work he completly ignores our son like he isnt there.
    if im doing housework and billy starts crying my partner just shouts me to come and get him.
    we have had countless arguments about this and he just tells me to leave him if i dont like it.
    i dont know what to do, surely this isnt normal for a new dad, most dads want to help and spend time with their children?
    i feel like he doesnt want our son, i have got no one around me to talk to, my friends havent got children so they dont know what to say.
     
  2. Wobbles

    Wobbles BnB Co-Founder ~ Retired

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    Hi Laura

    Firstly CONGRATS on the birth of your lil man x :headspin:

    How old are you & your partner if it's ok to ask! Also wondering how long you were together before you found out you were pregnant.

    I have not as yet had a child so I can not relate to your situation 100% but I do know that is WRONG! Maybe he's finding it hard adjusting to being a father although more of an effort even if it's by helping you out around the house wouldn;t go a miss!

    His parents - How is your relationship with them? Maybe have a chat with his Mum maybe Mum can help?

    "Leave if you don't like it" Sorry hunny I'd of got up & left with baby if I wanted this man I would hope he soon missed us but if he didn't as heart breaking as it would be I know I could be a PERFECT Mum to my lil boy.

    x
     
  3. Arcanegirl

    Arcanegirl Bazinga!!

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    Maybe he doesnt like to handle a newborn?

    Ive read of some guys not wanting to help out because they are scared to handle a tiny baby.
    My OH is like this although he wont avoid handling completley he'd just be nervous to pick a newborn up.
     
  4. laura&babybilly

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    hia, i dont mind u asking about our ages, i am 19 and he is 28, we were only together for 7 months before getting pregnant, but we'd already been living together for 3 months when we found out.

    i dont get on with his mum or dad, they have never seen my little boy, through their choice, (its a long story), my partner has got an other little girl who is now 4, he doesnt see her at all, through his choice and his ex's choice, which i think is wrong but that is none of my business really, so i dont get involved. but my partner has already told me that if we split up he doesnt want nothing to do with our little boy, and wouldnt see him at all.
    i love my boyfriend to bits, but he is making me really unhappy at the moment, and i think the only thing that stops me from walking out is the fact that i want my son to know his dad. :(
     
  5. Wobbles

    Wobbles BnB Co-Founder ~ Retired

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    Sounds to me like he has a problem with responsibility! Sorry to have to say that but if he’s man enough to make a baby then he should be man enough to pull his finger out of his ass & be a father to the two children he has!

    That’s a put up with me or I won't be about for our child - Erm is he anyway hun???

    If the only thing stopping you making a life for you & your son away from this guy is because you want your child to know his Dad I can tell you a lot of the girls on here will tell you it takes a Dad to be a Dad not sperm!
     
  6. Jase

    Jase Well-Known Member

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    best bet is to talk to him about it, sit down in a quite moment(you might have to get somebody to watch little man!) and ask is he scared of hurting him or is it that he didn't realise what little babies do!
    you have to do whats best for you the baby...if that means dads not envolved then in time you will probably find a man who will except you both
     

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