Dates not matching, low HCG - is this really happening?

[Euronova]

Hi,

I ov'ed on the 6th of August put did not test positive 13 days later. Went on holidays and tested positive on the 25th.
My tests are not getting darker, the digis are stuck on 2/3 weeks.
Did first bloods yesterday and came back at 500 and they estimate I am 4/5 weeks which is rather impossible.
My last pregnancy by 6 weeks I was in the tens of thousands (but took Clomid).
My boobs are sore, I am a tearful mess but I also have the feeling it's not adding up. Having second bloods tomorrow.
Anyone with similar numbers ended up bein ok?
I don't want to kid myself but this is really doing my head in and I am just petrified of miscarrying.
I have never being pregnant without Clomid and this is my first "natural" BFP and it seems once more my body is too fucked up to do what it's supposed to do
Never felt so useless and depressed....

 

[Wishing89]

Hey Euronova I wrote on the other post. I just want to let you know I'll keep you in my thoughts. I'm sorry you're going through this it is so shit.

I'm similar to you to in that I just got my first ever natural BFP. My first son was through ivf and in about 6 years of dtd without protection I never ever even smelt a BFP.

I hope that everything is fine and your numbers are doubling well x

 

[Euronova]

Thank you x it's just so frustrating to feel your body is just not functioning and you are putting your partner through all this grief
I feel so useless at time... Never even got a positive opk on my own.... I hope things will be ok for you too... We need a small miracle xx

 

[Wishing89]

Euronova you should never blame yourself! It's not your fault at all. Please don't be so down on yourself. I'm sure your partner wouldn't blame you! I notice you have a son already I do to. I'm trying to focus on him and his beautiful little face at the moment and I try to tell myself that I need to be okay for him. Our time will come no doubt. I feel so grateful knowing that my body can carry a baby. It's just that unfortunately this time things didn't go to plan

I'm really not a religious person but I started telling myself that I have my son who is such a joy and so beautiful so god decided since I had one he wanted this one for himself. I know it sounds kind of corny but that's how I try to think of it xx

 

[LifeAfterDepo]

You've only have one beta? You really need another to compare it and go from there. Late ovulation is always another probability.

It's amazing that we are such an evolved species with such trouble conceiving. I totally feel your pain.

I don't know if you're up for reading but I released my stress through posting my experience with a BFP and M/C this week a few hours ago: https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/trying-conceive-1/1998963-best-worst-week-my-life.html

 

[Euronova]

Thanks ladies,
Going for my bloods later. Last time I had the results same day so hoping the same.
I know i shouldn't blame myself but I guess I was proud that I conceived alone this time. Even my gynea said " see all on your own!"
TTC this time started as last time did with long anovulatory cycles so I was expecting to need medical intervention again.
I had to have the ventouse during the birth so again I had to have help, then breastfeeding was a real ordeal with my son having severe reflux and overfeeding and giving me mastitis after mastitis... I stuck at it 3 months but again had to give up my 6 months goal and get him on hypo allergenic formula (I just could not sustain the restricted diet I was on to try and not trigger him)
I just feel a bit at time like I fell a bit short of what i wanted to achieve. I have the most perfect son, he is an absolute joy and he is such a happy smiling baby. He is a real charmer and I cannot believe he is mine! I also had a really good pregnancy and labour (apart from the last 10minutes of it!) so my body isn't such a write off
I know if this egg wasn't a good one then this is for the best and it happens an awful lot more than we know but in a way I feel once more I am failing to achieve my goal. But not giving up! I have ordered pregnancy trousers (the same I loved and used to the cord last time).... I will use them eventually!

 

[Wishing89]

I'm sure you're doing a great job Euronova. You shouldn't feel bad about reaching some of your goals. I wanted to breastfeed for a year but I barely made it to 6 months. All you can do is your best! As long as you have done your best you shouldn't feel bad.

Let me know how your bloods go. I hope they are great!!!! x

 

[Euronova]

We got caught up in traffic so got worried I would not get the results today. Asked the nurse and said i was worried my levels are so low. She is sending them urgent
Now just have to hope my gynea is checking her emails and will forward them onto me. I texted her just in case that's when I really really appreciate my insurance. Cost me an arm and leg but it's that extra little but of control over what is happening.
Got some cramping today but had loads of that first trimester with my first so trying to think it's a positive sign!

 

[baby25102011]

Hope everything goes well hun! X X

 

[LifeAfterDepo]

Hope you get your labs asap. That limbo feeling is terrible. Enjoy what you have now, for it is real until something changes.

 

[Euronova]

Thank you... Received my new mei tai, will try the hefty toddler in there today but it's for the new baby. And there will be one, one day. Let's just hope it's a good sign it arrived today lol
How are you wishing89? Any more bleeding ? How are you feeling?

 

[LifeAfterDepo]

Euronova you still have't gotten your results back??

 

[Wishing89]

I had to google what a mei tai was just then he he. Yes maybe it's a sign!

I've had no proper bleeding just spotting like icky browny coloured stuff. More today than yesterday but from other ladies posts I thought the spotting would just lead to bleeding but who know? I guess I just have to wait it out but honestly I just wanna be over it now!!!

Anyway hope your bloods hurry!! Bring on some good numbers!!

 

[Euronova]

No news... Now not expecting to hear until Monday... Really annoying as I know the results are prob sitting in my gyneacologist's inbox ;(

 

[Wishing89]

Oh bummer. Well hopefully you will have great news on Monday! x

 

[LifeAfterDepo]

Gahhh!!! That sucks!! As a nurse, I keep lists of results I'm on pins & needles for doc to look at so the patient can get answers. Wish ever nurse and medical assistant cared enough!!

 

[Euronova]

Started spotting a tiny bit

 

[LifeAfterDepo]

Euronova I am here for you!!
Remember spotting can be normal! It really can.

I don't expect you to get TMI if you aren't a open person but feel free to talk about it if you need support.

Every single baby has a BRAND NEW set of blue prints. Maybe the baby is snuggling closer is. Maybe the placenta is stretching. Maybe your cervix is doing it's thing.

Your baby is there until someone tells you otherwise.

I knew deep down there was a high probability my pregnancy wasn't a sticky one, but I chaulked that up to being a neurotic nurse overanalyzing.

I'll never tell a women to "calm down" but take some deep therapeutic breaths and try to imagine happy thoughts.. Your favorite vacation, warm sun on you, beach waves.

Try if you can, just try.

 

[Wishing89]

It's okay it could be nothing!! Don't panic just yet. Are you still spotting now? Thinking of you xx

 

[LifeAfterDepo]

Just checking in... Hope things are looking up for you girl.