Daughter just wants daddy now :(

[BeachChica]

Hi girls,
Starting to feel really depressed and down on myself, hoping this is just a phase. My 33 month old daughter just seems to want Daddy all the time. (It's been like this for a while now) She is still affectionate towards me but when it comes to doing things... putting her to bed, getting her out of bed, getting her dressed, bath, etc. it's always... I want daddy to do it. Sometimes she even tells me to leave or says she doesn't want me. How do I turn this around? It's really hurting my feelings and I feel like I am just getting depressed and getting upset with my husband over it. It doesn't really put his foot down either and say no, it's mommy's turn. I feel like just the work horse that does everything but gets no rewards from it all.

 

[Teri7489]

Are you a stay at home mum or do the majority of child care? When I went back to work my daughter wanted me constantly as she didn't see me much. When I had my son and became a stay at home mum my children want their daddy. If I walk in the door they don't acknowledge me, when he comes home they run screaming and can't cuddle him enough. Bath time they want hI'm, same with story time and playing games. Think children become secure knowing you are there no matter what, so when daddy isn't there much they want as much attention as possible when he finally is there. don't be disheartened, your little one loves you and knows you are there to love them too xxx

 

[BeachChica]

I work during the day so she is in daycare. My DH works too but he picks her up from school and has extra time with her before I get home. It doesn't matter what he does, even if he goes about to do his own thing when I get home, she still wants him over me when we're both there.

Are your kids still the same way or was this a phase they went through. Did you do anything to try to change it. I don't need to have her just to myself all the time, but 50/50 would be nice.

 

[k4th]

My dd was like this. I'd say it's most likely a phase, it was for us. I went with it & she started choosing me again, it wasn't a long phase so I took the opportunity to put my feet up (do all the things I needed to do!) whilst I had chance. And when she said "I don't want you" I'd say something like... "well I still love you lots and I'm looking forward to my turn".

If you're really feeling it, then make a visual schedule. Different days of the week could have a different coloured sticker. Check the schedule in an evening & it will tell you whose turn it is. It could lead to arguments though if she's not happy with it - so it depends how much you want to force a 50/50 "rule"?

 

[BeachChica]

My dd was like this. I'd say it's most likely a phase, it was for us. I went with it & she started choosing me again, it wasn't a long phase so I took the opportunity to put my feet up (do all the things I needed to do!) whilst I had chance. And when she said "I don't want you" I'd say something like... "well I still love you lots and I'm looking forward to my turn".

If you're really feeling it, then make a visual schedule. Different days of the week could have a different coloured sticker. Check the schedule in an evening & it will tell you whose turn it is. It could lead to arguments though if she's not happy with it - so it depends how much you want to force a 50/50 "rule"?

Thanks K4th - that's a good idea with the schedule. I think she may be difficult at first but would probably get used to it. I wish my husband would put his foot down more so she knows he's not going to do it but he just swoops in and saves the day so that doesn't help. Maybe a schedule will benefit us all!

 

[Bevziibubble]

My kids are the same and I think that it's because I do most of the childcare, so daddy is a novelty.

 

[donnarobinson]

My kids are the same and same as Bev I do most childcare x

 

[d_b]

My two oldest kids are the same with the bedtime routine, we both work but they see less of daddy so I assume that's it. Also daddy tells better stories 😆.