Day 4 and Latching isnt going as planned. Pump & Bottle Instead?

[Quailpower]

So my lovely little LO is a dream of a baby, but is a very sleepy baby and we need to wake him to feed half of the time!

Latching is hard for me because I've had severe muscle fatigue in my arms so I cant hold him up to the breast for long periods even with support, and have been doing the side by side position instead.

Because he is so sleepy he often falls asleep at the breast and we have to either stimulate him or take him off, wake him up and put him on again.
Getting a good latch can take up to 10 minutes and he can get quite frustrated and not want to feed at all then

Doesnt help that out of the 4 midwives ive seen EVERY one has told me to do something different and told me different things on how often he should feed.

Im getting really annoyed, even more so that my supply is coming in so my breasts are so hard LO is struggling to latch even more!
I gave in and pumped some off to soften my areola enough for him to get his mouth on and he fed fine, but he also happily took the pumped milk from a syringe.


Im just finding the whole latching quite stressful and would like to pump and bottle feed instead. Im just wondering if that would work. I mentioned it to my MW and she laughed at me.

 

[fieryphoenix]

It's way more work to express bf. Your only four days in, just keep going and it will get better and easier everytime. Oh and as long as lo is having lots of wet and dirty diapers and gained his birth weight back, just feed him when he is hungry. Don't worry about how long or often, just let him nurse

 

[rhii]

It is hard work...but it was rude to laugh because it CAN be done. I've been doing it for almost a month. If you can breastfeed the traditional way please do ...pumping exclusively is extremely challenging as it's like bottle and breastfeeding. But don't feel like you can't pump exclusively... it's amazing women have the choice and it's very rewarding to know your baby is still getting your milk! And again, I'm not sure why she laughed at you. My supply is great. I've even pumped 10 oz at a time a couple times and my baby is only one month old Tuesday. Some people just aren't open minded ...be prepared for exhaustion though

 

[Quailpower]

I am worried that he is sleeping too much and not eating enough. He has about 4-5 dirty nappies a day and 5-6 wet ones?

 

[Egyptiangirl]

I'm betting that actually your lo is getting all it needs and maybe you're worrying too much? A newborn will sleep virtually all the time and will only wake long enough to feed. It sounds like he/she is eating plenty judging by the wet/dirty nappies and newborns of that age only eat an ounce if that at this age. I wouldn't worry and it sounds like you're doing a great job!!

 

[Quailpower]

I'm betting that actually your lo is getting all it needs and maybe you're worrying too much? A newborn will sleep virtually all the time and will only wake long enough to feed. It sounds like he/she is eating plenty judging by the wet/dirty nappies and newborns of that age only eat an ounce if that at this age. I wouldn't worry and it sounds like you're doing a great job!!

I've had mW telling me different every day.

If I leave lo he won't wake up to feed for over 7 hours before crying. I got told to wake him every 4 hours regardless. Then the horrible mW kicked off yesterday and acted like I was purposefully starving him and that I should be waking him every 2 hours but he's just not hungry!
I just feel really horrible about the whole thing, stress and worry is ruining my first fee days with lo. I'm already terrified of OH going back to work on Wednesday because if imstruggling hes really good at getting lo to latch on me

 

[nuffmac]

im sorry ur having such a hard time. My LO had really bad jaundice the first couple of weeks and so slept all the time too and would never wake when hungry. I was like you and didnt know when to wake him or not. I started by waking him roughly every 3 hours. he was slow to gain weight in the first few weeks so i went ot every 2 hours during the day and every 3 to 4 at night. this way he put on more weight. I would have said he wasnt hungry too and feeds took hours but it was worth it. The sleepiness meant he didnt feel the hunger I think. Im now just starting to feed on demand and still worry that it wont be enough. He is getting weighed next Thursday so we will see if its working.

I had huge difficulty getting him to latch on one side and often had 2 midwives trying to latch him on as the nipple was so flat. Once my milk came in it became impossible and I ended up using a nipple shield. the nipple shield worked well and he latched on no bother. Some midwives say not to use one as it will affect your supply but I think thats only over a very long period of time. If your LO can latch to a bottle they shold latch to a nipple shield. when your breast is very full your milk should flow easy making bfing a success.

I found bfing really hard at the start and have since had really bad thrush and pain but am glad Im still doing it now.

 

[Mrschoochoo]

I did it for a month with my first child, It can be done but it doubles up your feed time, as it will take you the time to express then feed! It really took over mylife as it was all I did for a month! Did your hospital give you any numbers for breastfeeding support? It might be worth giving them a ring and getting them to come visit you to see if they can give you some tips.
Your baby does sound like they are getting enough from your wet and dirty nappies, I struggled to get my second baby to feed much in the first few days, they do get more demanding by the end of the first week
I would really try some other things like calling and expert or even a nipple sheld before you start just giving expressed milk, its much easier for yourbaby to get milk from a bottle or srynge than to suck it out of a nipple, some babies refuse to go back, and trying to build up your milk supply with a pump is a real chore!

 

[Calif]

First of all, get the my brestfriend pillow. It can be hands free. I found this pic online
https://austinmomsblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/mybrestfriend1.jpg

Don't go to pumping yet. For me, pump and bottle was twice the work.

 

[Miss Preggie]

So my lovely little LO is a dream of a baby, but is a very sleepy baby and we need to wake him to feed half of the time!

Latching is hard for me because I've had severe muscle fatigue in my arms so I cant hold him up to the breast for long periods even with support, and have been doing the side by side position instead.

Because he is so sleepy he often falls asleep at the breast and we have to either stimulate him or take him off, wake him up and put him on again.
Getting a good latch can take up to 10 minutes and he can get quite frustrated and not want to feed at all then

Doesnt help that out of the 4 midwives ive seen EVERY one has told me to do something different and told me different things on how often he should feed.

Im getting really annoyed, even more so that my supply is coming in so my breasts are so hard LO is struggling to latch even more!
I gave in and pumped some off to soften my areola enough for him to get his mouth on and he fed fine, but he also happily took the pumped milk from a syringe.


Im just finding the whole latching quite stressful and would like to pump and bottle feed instead. Im just wondering if that would work. I mentioned it to my MW and she laughed at me.

Hi
i understand your frustration and i agree with others on here....keep going, you're doing great!! It's so challenging isnt it. We hear all about how to give birth, how to breastfeed, how to comfort our little ones etc.... Rarely have i heard antenatal classes etc discuss the potential difficulties we may face.

I have a 6 week old and a 3 yr old. My first was, comparitively speaking, a breeze. I had a c-section and she latched on immediately after i came out of theatre. So, with my second i was looking forward to all those beautiful, cosy moments. HOW DIFFERENT THEY CAN BE!!!! My second is very fussy and it took several days before she was able to latch on at all. It was also during a rather hot time of the year so wrestling with little one for several minutes trying to get her to latch on, we were both getting hot, sticky and uncomfortable as well as very frustrated. My midwife suggested that i hand express enough milk to fill a teaspoon and give thar to her to calm her down and then try again. It worked though it has taken weeks to get to the point where we are now. We do still struggle but she has fdefinitely improved and is feeding well. The main problem now is her arms. As they are still tucked in to her body she tends to push out and end up pushing at the breast...i have to swaddle her tightly when its really difficult. Like i said though, i do feel we are getting there and i think, if you really want to continue breastfeeding, then DO persevere. You WILL get there

Regarding your discomfort and muscles. Have you tried lying your little one on a pillow infront of you? If you get it how you need it, you dont even have to hold them, though i know it's a faff with the pillow..... It may work.

As for your midwife.... where are you? In UK there is a service called ONE TO ONE midwives. They are wondreful...and free if they cover our area. If it is possible, try too find someone else. You need a supportive midwife not a robot!!! Grrrrr......and im being rather mild too!....


Let us know how you get on Stay positive and look after each other XXX

 

[fatandlumpy]

Hi - firstly - congrats on the LO - been looking for you on the threads as I knew you were due.

Secondly - I had problems latching my wee one as he was so little and my boobs were stupidly large. I found that holding him to my side (the rugby ball hold) was, and still is, the best position for him - just to make sure he doesn't suffocate in my mammary tissue. I also nursed lying down for a bit (still do if he's a bit grizzly - as he can bobble on and off as he wants and I can read a book) as it's nice when the OH runs around supplying tea and biscuits to me in bed. His head is still a wee bit too wobbly for me to just let him loose on my chest.

I use pillows, blankets, my knees etc to balance him. It's been nearly 4 weeks now and I'm still getting the hang of it so I wouldn't feel bad if you're finding it tricky. I was lucky as my Mum came down the day Euan was born and stayed for a day. She really helped tweak the final positions.

My first HV was a b*tch and basically said I was doing it all wrong and made a note in his book, but when I got the latch checked at his 3 day appointment 2 midwives told me that there was nothing wrong with what I was doing and said that some of the 'advice' I got from her was out of date.

As long as you can hear them swallowing (if they're really small it's like a 'catch' in their throat) and you're getting wet nappies - then all is well (as long as your nipples are OK).

Good luck with it!

OH yes - My cousin expressed and bottle fed for a year. Apparently it's fairly common to do that in her Country so I wouldn't listen to anyone that says it's too difficult.

 

[dan-o]

I would say use a firm pillow like my Brest friend or fold up a blanket to take the pressure off your arms. They will get strong soon once the fatigue wears off! I still use a large cotton cellular blanket folded into 4 now to snuggle LO in while feeding in public, doubles up as a handy burp cloth to mop up any spit up lol!
Strip LO down to vest or even nappy to wake if need be.
I would personally aim to feed mine every 2 hours during the day and 4 at night, when tiny, but that's just what I'm comfortable with. Often they would feed more frequently than that.

Mine were both sleepy for the first few weeks while waiting for the jaundice to go and as a result weight gain was slow initially, but they then packed it on at a lb a week after that!

Keep going! X

Ps. Sorry for dreadful grammar, on phone lol!

 

[HisGrace]

Don't start pumping yet. It's hard work. You have to pump, wash & sterilize pump parts, wash & sterilize bottles, bottle feed, and repeat. It's hard to find the time to do all that while taking care of a demanding LO. My LO was in the NICU for his first two weeks of life so he developed a preference for the bottle. It took me two months just to get him to exclusive breastfeeding and things are so much easier now. Keep trying. The others have offered some great advice.

 

[donna noble]

Pumping is not that hard. It takes time yes but if you want your lo.to have bm you do it. My lo just started bfing at 6 weeks. He combi feeds as well since. I dont make enough milk. I also.still pump. Trust me i know it would be easier to just do ff but i have been determined for my lo.to have bm. The lactation people at my hospital were horrible. I had to tell one to backoff. They frustrated and angered me and just made things worse. The ladies at wic were much nicer but in the end the best thing was to just keep trying in privacy because i was getting really stressed with so many people telling me what to do. You may want to try pumping and get an idea how much milk you are producing to feel more comfortable. I think at some point most who bf also pump so regardless not a bad idea to try it maybe.