Dealing with an Anniversary

[LaraSue]

Hello, I have not posted in here before, but I am finding myself a little sad. I had a MMC March 20 at 10 weeks pregnant. My baby was only 8 weeks grown and there was no heartbeat. I had surgery the next day and spent the next week recovering physically. There were nasty things said to me that I won't go into, but I fought back in my own ways and, after a couple of months, felt and have been feeling pretty good. Husband and I got pregnant again immediately, which was unexpected but none-the-less happy.

My original due date was October 13. As the date comes closer, I am having a really hard time. I am so, so thrilled that this little one is doing so well, but I can't help thinking that I *should* be nearly due not just halfway there. I hate these thoughts, but, there they are.

 

[Starry Night]

What you're feeling is completely normal. I got pregnant with my first rainbow a few months after my first m/c. My first baby had been due in December so I remember standing in the shower as I was getting ready for my christmas gatherings, thinking that I should be having a newborn to show to everyone and not be 12 weeks pregnant. I had to stop myself and say, "no, this is the baby I am having now and I will be happy".

I did take the time to be sad on my angel's due date. I made a little tribute on Facebook, listened to some sad songs and cried. I don't think it is wrong to remember and be sad even if you are carrying your rainbow. They are both your children and are both special.

If I am able to keep this pregnancy I will also be pregnant over an angel due date. I plan on once again putting a little tribute on FB and taking the time to mourn and to remember. I don't see it as a lack of gratitude for your rainbow, but in fact, showing the world you were grateful for all the little lives you have been given.

 

[LaraSue]

Thank you so much, this was exactly what I needed to hear.

 

[Starry Night]

 

[xxDreamxx]

My anniversary date is 25 October. I will be just over 19 weeks pregnant by then and although so far, this pregnancy has been very different.... I know that 25 October will be a difficult day for me.

I think its natural how you are feeling.... Just because you are pregnant again, doesn't mean you forget the one you lost {hugs} - that's how I feel anyway.

 

[Emily2630]

My original due date was October 13 as well . As it approaches I'm getting nervous. I will be 18 weeks at that time. I'm trying to stay optimistic and focused on my current pregnancy but it's hard not to wonder what "would have been." I hope once I meet our new baby things will be easier as I'm sure ill be madly in love with her(him) and know she wouldn't be in my life if I hadn't had my MC. Good luck.

 

[Nichole]

In 2011, I had a m/c. My due date had been October 20th. I got pregnant less than 2 months after the m/c and I had such a hard time carrying that baby. My son ended up being born 8 weeks early... on October 26th. To this day, while I celebrate my baby boy's birthday, I can't help but think of the other birthday I should have been planning. Anniversary's are so tough. But, you just have to remember the baby you have, the one who needs you now and remember that your little angel is looking out for you both.

 

[GI_Jane]

I thought I would be very low on the anniversary of my would of been due date but to be honest, I had grieved so heavily for that lost bean for many months, that when the day came around I did think about it but it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.

 

[Butterball Ma]

We had a MMC at 18 weeks last year. Our due date was March 13th, the day after my bday. We found out a week earlier that we were expecting again. It was hard when that day came and went with no baby in my arms, but I did at least have hope for this new little baby. You never forget the ones you lose, and it's perfectly normal to feel sad, as long as you can find hope, too. And you know...some people believe it's the same baby trying again

 

[LaraSue]

And now, because I'm so close to my original date, I'm getting mailers with formula and...other stuff saying things like, "You're almost there!!" It breaks my heart.

I didn't put my first pregnancy on Facebook, but I'm thinking of putting a memorial on there when the time comes.

 

[floridamomma]

my due date was Monday that just passed I was 7+6 with this pregnancy and everyday gets harder to deal with but I try to remember my baby is safe and cared for and the baby I los is watching over us

 

[my1stbump]

I had a mc in 2011, my due date was 18th March 2012 ironically Mothers Day in the UK. I have two other children and I should have been celebrating the day with them but all I could think of was the baby that should have been born on that day!

It was a sad day and the next year was the same too, I will always remember that date and I so far I have always shed a tear for the baby I never had and I am sure I will for years to come

Next year I will be 8mth pregnant on that day and I will no doubt be a little more emotional but I will also be happy knowing that I don't have long to go till I meet my baby.

Eventually I hope I will be happy on this day and not think of it as I do now.

 

[LaraSue]

Mother's day here was awful (I was actually pregnant at the time, but I didn't know yet). I was very upset, and no one mentioned it to me. Except my pastor's wife, who actually bought me a very thoughtful present.

I'm having this necklace made with a different phrase on it (a friend is doing it). I'm hoping she gets it done by the 13.

Sorry I keep reviving this thread, I'm just really having a hard time.

 

[Emily2630]

I'm struggling too. I've been super irritable and grumpy with my husband-- maybe this is part of the reason why. I'm fairly sure he doesn't even know the exact date our baby was due and maybe doesn't even realize that it's approaching in only 2 weeks. My SIL is due is 5 weeks but expected to go early and I have a horrible feeling she'll deliver on or very close to my due date.

 

[LaraSue]

I don't know if husband realizes when the original due date was or not. He might though, he's pretty good with dates.

 

[Starry Night]

I'm not sure dh would remember our angel due dates on his own but I talk about them a lot so he's not allowed to forget.

It's not exactly a due date, but I got my bfp for this pregnancy pretty much exactly a year after I got one of my angel bfps. It makes me able to remember exactly where I was in that pregnancy a year ago and it also makes me aware of what point I lost that pregnancy and feel that loss anniversary looming ahead. I could be pregnant for another month and still not pass that milestone.

 

[jem77]

I was 9 weeks preg with this one when my due date would have been. It was so hard, but being preg again helped a lot. I still cry everyday for the baby I lost. Not sure when it will get easier. I am dreading the 1 year anniversary of my MC. I am SO excited for DS to be born, but still so sad.....

 

[Butterball Ma]

Our 1 year anniversary of finding out we'd mmc'd is next week...It's gonna be tough. I don't even know who still even remembers. I will be almost 34 weeks pregnant with this new lo, which will soften the pain, I hope.

 

[Emily2630]

LaraSue hope you're doing ok today...today was my due date too . I'm trying to stay optimistic but it's still hard thinking about what might have been...

 

[LaraSue]

Emily.
My husband didn't remember. I asked him, and he tried to think of something, but he didn't remember.

My friend had a baby today instead, in Norway. Trying to be happy.