Dear husband says "no" to clomid

[bdawn8403]

I really don't think taking it and not telling him is the way to go. Once he finds out he will more than likely be upset that you lied to him and went behind his back. Be a "man", so to speak, and tell him you are going to take it anyway. If he doesn't listen, thats his problem. When it works, he'll realize it was worth it.

 

[liltrouble]

Thanks ladies.

I was really stressed and frustrated when I wrote this and am feeling much better now. We have talked a little - he is still thinking about it though.

The funny thing is that he is just so clueless to the whole science of baby making. Just today he was like - lets do it and make a baby. I told him that it was not the time - we could do it for fun but i am supposed to get my period tomorrow. He was like well you never know - there is still a chance. Hahaha. No hun. THere is NO chance of getting pregnant the day before your period.

Gonna print off some stats.

 

[TeddyBearPug]

Thanks ladies.

I was really stressed and frustrated when I wrote this and am feeling much better now. We have talked a little - he is still thinking about it though.

The funny thing is that he is just so clueless to the whole science of baby making. Just today he was like - lets do it and make a baby. I told him that it was not the time - we could do it for fun but i am supposed to get my period tomorrow. He was like well you never know - there is still a chance. Hahaha. No hun. THere is NO chance of getting pregnant the day before your period.

Gonna print off some stats.

Haha, my husband is exactly the same way. I'm due to start in the next few days and he asks me if we can get pregnant by doing it today! lol

 

[Jadeblue18]

You should NEVER hide something like that from someone you love so much and who loves you just as much. Could it be that he might not be ready yet maybe? Your husband is meant to be your best friend, not your worst enemy. Ask him why he's against it. Maybe he knows there's a chance for more than one baby? If you try to talk to him about it and he still says no, I agree with 'CuddleBunny' TELL him that you are going to be taking it regardless even if he gets the shits. This way you aren't hiding it from him, you're just taking charge. But if it was me, I would want it to be a joint agreement. My husband was a bit against me getting my script from the Dr but once I started taking it, He would remind me to take my temps ect. Who knows, he may warm to the idea.

 

[bdawn8403]

You should NEVER hide something like that from someone you love so much and who loves you just as much. Could it be that he might not be ready yet maybe? Your husband is meant to be your best friend, not your worst enemy. Ask him why he's against it. Maybe he knows there's a chance for more than one baby? If you try to talk to him about it and he still says no, I agree with 'CuddleBunny' TELL him that you are going to be taking it regardless even if he gets the shits. This way you aren't hiding it from him, you're just taking charge. But if it was me, I would want it to be a joint agreement. My husband was a bit against me getting my script from the Dr but once I started taking it, He would remind me to take my temps ect. Who knows, he may warm to the idea.

I agree. I figure its probably a blow to his ego that you (OP) need assistance in getting pregnant, you know?

 

[SLH]

Thanks ladies.

I was really stressed and frustrated when I wrote this and am feeling much better now. We have talked a little - he is still thinking about it though.

The funny thing is that he is just so clueless to the whole science of baby making. Just today he was like - lets do it and make a baby. I told him that it was not the time - we could do it for fun but i am supposed to get my period tomorrow. He was like well you never know - there is still a chance. Hahaha. No hun. THere is NO chance of getting pregnant the day before your period.

Gonna print off some stats.

I think once he realizes how hard it can really be, he will have no problem with you taking Clomid. Well, unless he doesn't want you taking it for religious reasons, but you did say he's thinking about so I think he'll eventually be okay with it.

 

[NikkiandRay]

That is word for word the exact response I got from my husband when I told him I have PCOS and would need to try clomid. He was absolutely adament about no clomid at all. So I just waited...we tried for a year and when still nothing had happened and I broke down in tears he told me that i could start taking clomid. I waited two cycles and then got the rx filled. I didnt want to tell him when I was taking it and if I started because I knew he would get anxious. So now I have the 2ww and we will see.

 

[fisher640]

I'm just going to give you my opinion. Clomid is a serous medicine. I could never imagine going behind my husbands back when it comes to something so important. What if you have twins? Could you still be ok with keeping that secret? I'm actually surprised so many women are ok with this, maybe I'm the strange one. Maybe talking to him and showing him the actual statistics would be better. I also got clomid after 6 months for ovulation issues. It just seems like something I would want to have my husbands support on when I'm having side effects etc. It's your body but it's also his life too. I understand being upset if he says no, but surely you can talk him into it! Lol, the chance of multiples is slim.

I agree lanet.

My 2 cents: Our next option (TTC >1yr with unexplained) now is clomid and DH is totally not on board. I brought it up after my first appointment with the fertility specialist and he was immediately "I don't want 6 kids" - although I knew this would be his reaction... my plan is to give him a few months and have some what if conversations and hope he comes around. I don't think I could/would/should take clomid behind his back especially given his feelings about it. Sure it's rare but what if you did take it behind is back and decided to tell him at your scan and at your scan they find triplets or quadruplets.... sure it's rare, but it happens.

 

[hopingforit]

My DH was pretty much the same way up to about 10 months of trying. After that, he encouraged me to go to the Dr and get whatever help I can because I told him how much I was stressed out about not conceiving. I have my appointment next month because it has been 1 year. To be honest, even if he would have told me no, I would have done it anyway because he isn't the one that has to go through all the stress of AF arriving, false symptom spotting, worrying about infertility, and just all the disappointment that goes along with being a woman TTC. If I were you, I would seriously sit down and talk to him about how you feel. He needs to understand that sometimes you need help. That's what I did with my DH and he changed his mind about it. Hopefully everything works out for you. Good luck and lots of

 

[tigerlilly]

Hey hun i'm 38 and been TTC # 1 for over a year.

Have you really tried and used up all other options before taking a very powerful and major drug with some very nasty side effects? for me clomid is a scarey option and one i don't want to try without doing as much as i can for myself first.

I'm starting to believe that my body will become pg when its ready and not a moment before. I used to really stress out with TTC untill i watched ' The great sperm race' if you live in the UK you can find it on Channel 4's 4oD site if not look on you tube it shows the sperms journey, i'm amased anyone can get pg!!!

By other options.

healthy life style,

less stress (not easy)

better food

exercise (not full on)

And importantly making real love, regulary through out the whole of the cycle start to finish? and not when you think your ov'ing and i don't mean ' it's that time! we need to make a baby sex' (this is no fun for either parties) Having the kind of sex you used to have, befor TTC. (we done baby sex for 6months this was no fun and stressful particulary for DH, having to perform on cue and demand)

We only BBT now so if we do go down the route of specalist we have the info ready and not for ov. Since when did I stop listening to our own body.

we also no longer use our CBFM as the whole process has become 'clinical' and i had enough of poas, measuring poking, checking and symptom spotting. so if we want to make love we do, if not then we don't. And oh my the sex is fantastic not to mention the orgasam's hehehehe (sorry tmi)

Having a baby is a complex biological process that we have no control over no matter what we do and this is what makes TTC so bloody hard to deal with.

If it helps my friend got her BFP for her first at 43 in her first month of ttc, and i firmly belive that fertility should be based on the indervidual and not the one size doesn't fit all approach.

I wish u lots of luck xx