Ladies, I'm having a bit of an issue at home, and I don't know what to do. I wasn't gonna say anything, but with everyone talking about getting pissy and not wanting to be around their hubbys, I thought maybe you guys would have some advice... even though my problem is the opposite.
I'm not normally a touchy feely person, but since being pregnant this time around, I have been kind of wanting to be hugged more. I haven't done a 180 and need constant affection... I just want him to come sit with me on the couch or something while watching tv, or maybe just a hug every now and then. When I express this to my husband he calls me annoying and flat out refuses. He won't come near me at all anymore. I understand we can't have intercourse anymore, and I haven't felt like really doing anything for him, if you know what I mean, but I don't feel like that should be why he would pull back from me completely. When I ask him what's wrong, he just says it's because I'm pregnant and just had surgery.... I don't really see how this can be the reason, when he didn't stop me from getting up and doing laundry, making beds, cleaning the bathroom etc 2 days after I got hime from surgery. If it's okay for me to do that stuff, why can't he even hug me?
And that's the other thing. He makes this big show of being the one who has to do everything around the house now that I'm pregnant, and especially since I had been surgery... but he isn't doing everything. Yes, he is doing the shopping cuz I can't walk much and can't carry groceries, and yes he has been making suppers more... but that's it. He was supposed to do laundry and fold it all while I was in hospital, and I came back to the same house! He hasn't done anything but play Play Station 3! So even though I had been told not to do anything for a week, I did stuff to make the house liveable! Every now and then he'd tell me to sit down cuz he'd do it later.... but he never did! And he wasn't working at this point in time either, so that can't be his excuse to do nothing. He hasn't been logging since early March!
Now he's also spending more time on the computer downstairs as well. And when I say he's spending more time down there, I mean he goes downstairs at 11:30pm, and won't come upstairs until 3am. I get so mad at this cuz I'm a light sleeper normally, and pregnancy has caused me to have insomnia, so when he crawls into bed at 3am, I wake up and can't go back to sleep, which I think is inconsiderate on his part. I have expressed this to him many times and he just tells me to stop nagging him, and why do I need to control him 24/7. Eventually he agrees to come upstairs earlier, but it never fails, I end up having to shout at him from the top of the stairs at 1:30am, and he might make it up an hour later. Even now, he has to get up at 2am to head out to the bush, and last night he said he had to 'check his email' which is what he says every night, and he went downstairs at 9:30pm, despite the fact that he should have been in bed by then. He said it was vitally important as he plays internet chess and the moves have to be emailed...? Thats vital? I yelled down to him at 10:30pm, and he got mad at me, came upstairs and slammed the bedroom door on me without saying good night. When 2am rolled around, he didn't wake up with his alarm, and I had to wake him up. Now, when he comes hom from work, he will fall asleep in his chair and bitch about how little sleep he gets.... he won't do anything with Greg and he won't be helping me around the house...
I'm really starting to wonder what he is doing downstairs. If he was looking at porn, he would tell me.... he always has before. I can't check the computer because we always clear cookies and history etc after every use. I don't understand why he has to be downstairs at such odd hours, and why he is always so pissy when I ask him what he is doing, and I wonder why it is so imperative that he HAS to check his email daily despite the fact that he has to get up for work soon.... What could be so important??
And the problems at home are making me think more and more about an ex of mine.... and I know I shouldn't be. It was a guy I met at the gym 6 yrs ago, and we have always got along amazingly! We just get each other. We are like the same person, and we can talk non stop and we never get tired of each other's company. I have often thought that this was the person I was supposed to be with, but since I already had Greg with Ian, I stayed with Ian. I did end up sleeping with this guy once, 5 yrs or so ago, and Ian knows this, and we worked through it. He never wanted me to have contact with this guy again, which I kind of understand, but whenever me and Ian start having problems, it seems like me and this guy run into each other somewhere, and our friendship picks up where it left off, and I go along with it, because he listens to me. And true to form, I went to cover at my mom's office yesterday, and he came in looking for bark mulch for his garden. And we talked for like an hour,a nd it was just so natural andgood. And I just feel like calling him and talking to him, and I think about this constantly, especially when Ian is being such an ass. Whenever Ian refuses to hug me, I just think to myself, well Trevor would. And if he won't come sit with me or do laundry or something, I think, well Trevor would do this, or Trevor would do that...
I just don't know what to do anymore.... Ian knows he isn't supposed to be stressing me out, and yet he does stuff to stress me out constantly! He leaves me to figure out bill payments and budgets, doesn't care or try to help when I tell him we don't have money to pay our bills, and then he goes and spends money we don't have on fast food or something! He is constantly causing me stress, and Trevor even said yesterday, if I were pregnant with his kid, he would be doing everything for me.... cleaning, cooking, shopping, bills and budgets etc. And I know he would! Like he said, he's been doing it all along for himself (he is seperated after being married for 2 yrs), so it wouldn't be any different, he'd just get a baby at the end of it.
I'm getting so confused.... sorry for the long rant. I just don't know who to talk to.
I cant see it makin any difference. 
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