***December Snowflakes 2012 Parenting***

[sigh]

I'm so upset right now... the issue of supplementing came up again today. OH's family keeps telling him I need to supplement her, that it's not normal for her to be feeding every 3 hours, that she should be going 4 at least. They say "make her give the supplement just to try it out and if LO lasts 4 hours then it's proof her breastmilk is weak" OH brought this up to me today, because another girl in the family with a baby the same age (she was feeding hourly) decided to start supplementing and now her baby lasts longer.

I got really angry since we'd been through this before, I told him plenty of mothers with babies her age still aren't STTN (which is totally normal) and ours goes 9+ hours without waking hungry so I am happy to feed her as many times as she needs during the day. It turned into this really heated argument where I got called a bad mother for not "caring" and OH has gone out to buy a scale to weigh her and says if she's underweight then it'll be on me.

Now I feel like the worlds worst mum and that maybe they're right and I'm just too proud or something to realize it. Of course if she's not gaining the weight then I will be more than happy to do everything in my power to get her on track and the fact that everyone acts like I'm not doing my full part just hurts me so bad. Even her pediatrician says she is gaining weight just fine and isn't concerned (although her last weigh in was a month ago) I'm sorry if it seems like I'm rambling, I'm fighting tears to be honest. Now I'm just filled with self-doubt - as if I didn't already have enough of that already.

Edit: Good luck scooby! Also, adorable pictures ladies. I love the bunny ears.

oh hun . My LO went from gaining 8-16 oz a week to barely gaining 2 a week. I have a scale at home and at times it has not been accurate like the drs office. My dr said breastfed babies grow at a different rate than formula babies. My LO is eating every 1.5-3 hours for 20-30 mins, sometimes more! She sleeps 5-9 hrs straight each night which is more than a lot of babies her age. Your baby it totally normal! I was crying yesterday because I don't understand why my supply is so low. Id call your doctor if you're concerned but don't let them bully you into something you don't want to do! My mother in law is constantly judging my parenting and I've learned to ignore her... sort of.

 

[Chloe597]

oh coco, i am sorry you have to go through this! Gabby is EBF and eats every 2-3 hours still. I can't ever think of a time she has gone 4 hours between feeds unless its at night when she is sleeping (She sleeps through the night! Woo!!). babies go longer during the day between feedings when on formula because they digest it differently. So if you supplement, you will probably see her go longer, but that in now way means its because she needed to be supplemented. Gabby has also slowed down in her weight gain, but thats what is supposed to happen as they get older. No way could she keep up her 16 oz/week gain! But it doesn't mean she is constantly starving. times are different now than they were 30 years ago, especially in the states. when i was born, doctor's tried to give my mom a shot to stop her milk from coming in because no one recommended breast feeding back then. Now they say to do it as long as you can...maybe OH's parents are living in a time warp Unless baby is losing weight, or dramatically dropping in her centiles, you should just keep doing what you are doing, with the support of your pediatrician! Hang in there, you are a great mommy, and the concern you have for wanting her to get the best milk possible shows it!

 

[cococobain]

Thank you for the support. I know I shouldn't let it get to me so badly, but it's hard when your own OH starts to doubt you. I don't even think I have a low supply problem to be honest, but with all the finger-pointing I've gone and looked into ways to increase my supply naturally on kellymom (gotta love kellymom).

OH accuses me of being too proud to accept other people's help... my problem here is that I don't feel they are being helpful at all. Why not suggest first things like eating oatmeal, pumping to supplement or taking fenugreek? That kind of advice would be helpful, not just telling me I have "weak milk". Especially since she (my SIL - the one making the comments) breastfed her own LO til 18 months, surely she should be more understanding on the subject? I hope at our next doctor's appt her ped. can help ease my concerns.

sigh - I'm sorry you're going through that. It's so frustrating when you don't know what's going on, especially since it seems like you are doing everything right! It doesn't exactly help with the meddling in laws either...

Is your OH at least being supportive of you? I think I'm more disappointed that he doesn't seem to trust my instincts or want to respect how I feel about BF. I wish he would stick up for me a bit more, but I guess it's hard to go against family. Anyway thanks for listening to me rant ladies

 

[samj732]

Is it even possible to have 'weak milk?' Tell them where to go coco. As long as your LO is still gaining some weight and is happy, who cares?

I see all these tummy time pics with babies with their heads held way up, and Iz doesn't do that. Granted I slack on tummy time cuz she hates it, but she hardly holds her head up at all. Is that something to be worried about?

 

[daydream]

Coco - just reading this is getting me heated! I feel for you and I agree they are not helping at all. Maybe tell DH that you of course care about the baby but remember that breastmilk is best for baby, so if there is any change is nutrition you will want the pediatrician thoughts first. Set up an appt ASAP even if its not on schedule and talk to the dr. In the meantime eat your oatmeal and keep doing as you are. 3 hours is completely normal.

 

[daydream]

Also remind him that stress from him not being supportive is a hindrance to your supply.

 

[Kelly M]

Coco this makes me mad just hearing about it! Three hours is my son's max and that's totally normal. Tell them to shove it. I even have super fatty milk and Carter still eats all the time. He's a big boy but his growth is slowing as it should.

 

[sigh]

Coco - I agree with Daydream! Your OH should do some research on breastmilk and breastfeeding! My DH is being supportive but thats only because he realized his family has no idea what they're talking about most of the time before we had the baby... otherwise I'd probably be in a similar situation. My dr said the same thing as samj - any weight gain is good! But I know how you feel... my mom made a comment about how my baby looks smaller and I started crying...blah.

samj - i dont think its a problem. I've been forcing tummy time on Ellie and she's starting to like it. We slacked for a while too. I do it in her crib and surround her with some colorful toys to keep her head up looking at them. We also put a quilt on the ground and put her on there and roll a jingly ball around and she likes to watch it.

 

[Honey.Bee]

Coco I felt so angry reading your post. You are doing just fine. There is NOTHING abnormal about your baby wanting to feed at this frequency. Please don't feel pressurised into making a change against your will. Why don't you take DH to your next Paediatrician's appt? I think you also need to have a calm word with him about his lack
of support - it's really not helpful. Stay strong, Mummy x

 

[ttc_lolly]

Scooby, good luck tomorrow for Camden's scan keep us updated x

Coco, I too am absolutely furious at reading your post who the hell do his family think they are to go behind your back and discuss this with your OH, like you're a bad mum. I'm seething here!! It's totally normal for her to feed that often, please do not doubt yourself or your breastmilk. Breastmilk is made for babies and is much easier on their guts and so is quickly digested. Formula is harder to digest and therefore (some, not even ALL ff babies) babies on formula can go longer between feeds. That doesn't mean your milk is not good enough, it means it's doing exactly what it should be! If her paediatrician isn't concerned then neither should you, your OH or his silly family grrrr! I hope you hit him round the head with those scales after he's weighed her and found out that she's a perfect and healthy weight! big hugs to you hun, it must be so hard having such negative people around. Stand strong, we are here for you x

 

[cococobain]

Thank you so much! Reading your replies really put a smile on my face and helped me breath easy I feel a lot more confident in my capabilities and am just going to stick to my guns, even if I do come across as "stubborn" - at the end of the day she is my child and I know better than anyone what she needs. OH didn't come home with the scales after all... I guess he realized how hurt I was since he hasn't brought the subject up since.

I'll be sure to bring up the issue of breastfeeding frequency at her appointment with OH there so he can hear for it for himself and we can bury this issue once and for all (though I guess being a mum means having to learn to deal with criticism through every stage) then maybe he'll learn to trust my instincts in the future.

If I didn't have the support from here I think I would've gone mad by now!

 

[scoobydrlp]

Coco - I agree with everyone else here. Camden only goes more than 3 hours without eating if she's sleeping, otherwise it's still 2.5-3 hours for the most part. Why do people feel the need to "help" when no help is needed? Your LO is doing just fine with your breastmilk, please don't let them bully you into supplementing when it's unnecessary. I think it's a great idea to address the issue at your next pediatrician visit so OH can hear it straight from the doctor.

Samj - I wouldn't be too concerned about LO not lifting her head very high, she'll get there. I've noticed that if I prop Camden's chest/arms up on a rolled up blanket or on the boppy she lifts herself way higher than if I put her flat on the floor.

Our ultrasound went great!! They said everything looks completely normal and there are no concerns at all. I'm soooo relieved!! At least we can check one thing off the worry list.

 

[expatttc]

coco, I'm so sorry! If it helps, Rosa also feeds every 2-3 hours through the day...daydream is right -- stress can affect supply and if your OH isn't supportive, he's certainly hindering and not helping you.

Sigh, my supply gets low in the afternoons evenings, I feel because she does feed so often, but often she spits up like she's had too much.

I can tell she's gaining weight by how her clothing fits, but she hasn't been weighed by a doctor since her 2 month visit.

Her next weight check will be in 2 weeks, though we do use our own bathroom scale to check every now and then -- but it's not accurate at all, of course.

Samj, keep going with tummy time and your LO will get there with her head! I found she doesn't like to do it that much on the floor, so I give her tummy time on the change table (with me right in front of her, hands on two sides in case she decides to roll). Then she can stare me right in the eye and really lifts her head up...maybe try that to get her stretching more?

Scooby, so happy for you re. the US check!!

 

[Honey.Bee]

Great news Scooby!!!

Samj - Ava used to hate tummy time too, she's still not keen. I found that placing her chest on a cushion so she was slightly raised, or even on my chest helped to get her started.

Coco - Glad you are feeling strong. If only your DH could see Lolly with that beating stick!!! I had 'advice' to consider using FF at night as a way of increasing Ava's sleep. Some days I was so tired I even considered it but then I remembered that I have invested a lot to BF until now and when I stop will be MY decision. You are right - you know your baby better than anyone. Stick to your gut instinct and what feels right in your heart x

 

[ttc_lolly]

Haha @ beating stick!! Damn right I love these smilies! I'm glad you're feeling happier and more confident coco you know what you're doing, don't ever let anyone doubt you

Samj, Millie also hates tummy time. A month ago she would roll straight over on to her back but not anymore... She just face palms and screams we've been putting a rolled up blanket under her chest also and it's helping but she will still only stay on her front like that for a very short time. Stubborn!

Scooby, fantastic news I'm so pleased for you!!

Here are a few memes and pics I saw on IG and thought I'd share as they made me smile or giggle

Spoiler

https://i1129.photobucket.com/albums/m503/laurynp86/7DBB9F3C-A13E-4B15-9EAC-7FC5674DBA8D-4004-000003090879962C_zpsaa741d18.jpg
https://i1129.photobucket.com/albums/m503/laurynp86/9327106F-761C-40A7-91A6-323FF5D1876E-4004-00000308FD7F3413_zpsd86c4d30.jpg
https://i1129.photobucket.com/albums/m503/laurynp86/853AFC8C-03E5-4E2B-BE96-25481C6A4AE6-4004-00000309011F2497_zps3db7b667.jpg
https://i1129.photobucket.com/albums/m503/laurynp86/73C3A2B7-F184-45C0-BAFA-31A6DACE015B-4004-0000030904BCE32B_zps13339805.jpg
https://i1129.photobucket.com/albums/m503/laurynp86/2DB0F61F-A7DF-47E6-822C-AB58CE9F3A1A-4004-000003090C7B403B_zpsd2261abb.jpg
https://i1129.photobucket.com/albums/m503/laurynp86/72956430-DB68-45C0-9C33-44AE9CFCD7F2-4004-0000030957E2A1A2_zpsbd7deff5.jpg
https://i1129.photobucket.com/albums/m503/laurynp86/69F949F7-43BC-4121-BBAE-D76688590D54-4004-000003095B9A206D_zps2d548d06.jpg

 

[Honey.Bee]

They're great lolly! Here's one that sums us up....

https://i1050.photobucket.com/albums/s418/2012HoneyBee/5D6C2990-722B-4E4A-B07F-0AD29134B245-10216-000007D2C93A5A31.jpg

 

[ttc_lolly]

 

[cococobain]

LOL I love those memes, especially the one with the triplets, ha!

Scooby - Aw great stuff about the ultrasound! Also I just wanted to thank you once more for those neck stretches you posted a while back - I can't believe it but LO has been sleeping facing the other way all day! I'll admit it when I first tried and she resisted so bad I gave up pretty quick, then this past week I decided to suck it up and persevere and the results are amazing. I put a baby mirror and other crib attachment toys on that side so she's encouraged to face that way more often too.

samj - I'm sure with a little more tummy time she'll be lifting her head high fairly quickly. It's getting them to enjoy being on their tummy that's the hard part. I think they mostly hate it so much at first because they don't have much neck control and just have their heads buried most of the time, yet they won't work those muscles unless they do it so it's catch-22. Just keep at it!

Also I just wanted to add LO rolled over today for the first time! AND MY EYES WERE CLOSED! Of course she'll probably not do this again for weeks now. Figures, after weeks of having a camera attached to my hand at all times, she hits a milestone while I'm nodding off.

ladies

 

[puravida]

Coco-I'm late to the party but only YOU know what's best for your baby and your husband's family sounds way too involved. Our babies are very close in age and I'm ecstatic if Maya goes 3 hours between feedings haha. 2.5-3 hours is 100% NORMAL! Don't sweat it...as long as you and baby are happy and healthy don't worry about what anyone else thinks. It's not their baby! Just worry about your own sanity haha.

You're doing a wonderful job as a mom!

 

[Kelly M]

Yay scooby! So glad to hear everything looks good.

Carter is still having bloody and mucousy poops and I thought we had it all figured out with me being on a soy and dairy free diet. Something is still irritating his bowels every now and then. It's driving me mad not knowing what is wrong! And this new diet is so hard for me. I may have to cut out gluten too. We'll hopefully find out more at his dr.'s appointment tomorrow. Wish us luck!