Decided to speak to HV...

[CaptainMummy]

So I have been 'worried' about Ella for quite some time now. More than a year I'm sure. Her behaviour doesn't strike me as normal and she is definitely not quite the same as her peers (or sisters). I'm not entirely sure what I'm expecting to happen or for anyone to say, but I am so over it and feel like my only option is to speak to someone about her.
I called today and spoke to the nurse who said the HV would contact me, although systems were down today so I've not actually spoken with her. Anyway, I've Writtle down a list of things about her that make me think there is more to her behaviour than just being a 'typical 3yr old'.

If anybody cares to read through and give me any insight as to what seems to be going on, that would be fab!

Very Emotional.
Can't sit still - always climbing and jumping. Up and down when eating dinner, leaning on table/standing on chair/on and off etc. Can't sit and watch 5 minutes of tv never mind a film or even a 15 minute episode of something.
Cant stand at peace - always jumping and fidgeting /shuffling about. Bumps into and falls over things alot and hurts herself as a result.
Bedtime is a nightmare - She cant 'switch off' and lies kicking the wall, singing and talking non stop to herself, wont lie still.
Awful eater - only eats certain foods, wont try anything new/different.
Wakes early, on the go from the minute she opens her eyes until she falls asleep. Has no 'down time'
Bold as brass - Not shy in the slightest, extremely over friendly with strangers (men in particular)
Touches other people's clothes/bodys without thinking (when she likes their clothes/hair etc)
Squeals loudly when playing, and also randomly.
Won't snuggle. Even as a baby she has never ever enjoyed a cuddle, wont sit and snuggle in at all.
Very persistent - interrupts, doesn't take no for an answer. Will repeat things until blue in the face without giving up.
dance class - doesn't pay attention, or do as told. Sits and spins or cartwheels etc whilst the rest of the children are following instructions.
Physically bold and unafraid. Even as a very young toddler was always very forward physically.
Laughs at discipline, doesn't care about consequences.
Harms cat - literally doesn't leave him alone and seeks him out constantly. Grabs him and doesnt let go, impulsively hits and kicks him without even thinking about it.

So yeah, quite a lengthy list. Despite this she is an extremely smart girl. More so than pretty much every other child of her age. She has many talents including dance and art, and she excells in both. Very very good with numbers, can do simple sums mentally (and very quickly) and she has always been ahead of the game in pretty much everything (speech, all milestones as a baby/toddler etc)

I can't cope with her anymore, she is wearing me down and I feel like there must be something to make it easier!

 

[kellyc1987]

Sorry I can't help at all but I'll be interested to hear what th HV says as you have literally just described my 2.5yo!

He is such a fidget, cannot keep still even when going to bed, and the same as your LO as soon as his eyes open he is up asking to play!

Every time I mention it to my family they just say "he is only 2 he will grow out of it, but I don't think he will.. I'm honestly worried for When he goes to nursery/school in case he doesn't sit still/listen etc

I know how tiring it is

 

[Dawnlouise30]

I think talking to your health visitor is a great idea.

My son is 5 in October and was pretty much everything you described here apart from he did sleep quite happily at night as soon as head hit the pillow.
He has changed a lot in the last 8 months.. Honestly I was at the point of dispair with him.
He is still over familiar with people he doesn't know. He talks to anyone, and despite teaching him stranger awareness I'm not convinced he wouldn't go off with a stranger. However I can reason with him a bit more if he is willing to engage. He is just a super confident boy.

I see now that for him at least his not listening, being quite hyper etc was a way to reliably gain my attention. (new baby in house).
We decided to work a lot on consistent praise with him. Equally there were consequences to throwing and hitting and once those boundaries were better established things got better....... But honestly he improved with age.
I 100% had your worries. I'm still not unconvinced there isn't something a bit eccentric about him but he starts school next week so I'm hoping of necessary we would get some support from school. Xx

 

[redneckhippy]

This might seem like an odd question, but does she snore when she sleeps?

 

[kirstybumx3]

I also feel like that could've described Rio. I've posted threads about him before and seriously consider taking him to see someone myself but I keep putting it off. I don't know why really. Fear they'll confirm there's something, fear they'll say I'm just a terrible parent. I don't know. But I haven't been yet. He starts school in a couple of weeks so I'm going to ask to have a meeting with his teacher as soon as he starts and ask that they monitor him closely for a few weeks first and relay their findings with him. I have been told referrals are way easier when it comes from school as they like children to be the same in more than one setting before they'll consider it anything other than normal.
(I will come back and add more later. Niko is suddenly starving we've found something really helps Rio so will come back asap) xx

 

[sequeena]

I'm glad you've asked for some help. I can relate to a lot of this with Thomas and it's exhausting. I hope they are able to help

 

[Bevziibubble]

That's great you've asked for some help. Hopefully you will be able to get some answers and support from the HV

 

[luz]

Sounds like my son! We talked to our doctor about him and he has told us it's not autism because he is very social and has no problems socially. We were referred to a child psychologist and family therapist. We went to the 8 weeks of family therapy and did all of their suggestions that would supposedly help the behavior, but we honestly didn't see any improvement and it just made him feel bad about himself because he is very smart and knew we were talking about him. We never went to the child psychologist because neither DH or I think it will really help or give us any answers. I'll probably bring it up again at his well check this year with the doctor, but honestly I am starting to think it's just his personality and he probably has SPD (sensory processing disorder) and that is what's causing the food aversions and sensitivities to loud noises, clothes, and his inability to control his own noise volume.

I have thought he probably has asbergers, even though that diagnosis doesn't really exist anymore. It's so frustrating to know your kid is "off" but to not be able to pinpoint what or why. I don't even care that he is the way he is, I just wish I had a name for it so I could cope with it better and possibly connect with other moms of kids with the same problem.

 

[Ganton]

I can relate to every single one of your points with my 5 year old son. It's so so tiring!

DS is just about to enter year 1 and, although he's been in a bit of trouble during reception (largely to do with getting too close to / leaning on / pushing other children), the SENCO doesn't yet think it's clear that he needs a referral. I do think a lot of what he does is for attention but I also think there are underlying sensory issues that he can't control.

He's also very anxious and I think he worries that we don't love him when we tell him off. He therefore seems to test us but trying to push us to our limits. I'm trying so hard to take a very pistol approach to discipline but it's incredibly difficult when he hurts his 2 younger siblings

I'll be following to see what suggestions others have.

 

[liz1985]

That does sound very similar to my ds. He has just been put on the autism pathway. He's older though, nearly six and still displaying those behaviours. I'd imagine at your daughters age they will say it could just be down to her age and give you tips on managing her behaviour. That well could be all it is. When my ds had his pathway assessment, they told me that it could be Adhd but they won't diagnose that till age 7 so he's been put on the autism pathway as he displays signs of both.

Not saying I think your daughter has either of these, like I say at 3.5 it could easily just be something she will grow out of, but it's good to raise your concerns early.

 

[Cariad_x]

My son displays all of these behaviours plus others. He is unable to sit at meal times and takes exceedingly long to dress himself because he gets distracted. He is incapable of finding objects unless we force him to breathe, calm down and take time. He interrupts constantly with random thoughts as if he needs to get them out of his head. He climbs inappropriately and runs off
He is impulsive. He talks constantly and to anyone he sees and is always on the go - he even moves his legs or fidgets on the ipad. He can be overky boistorous and emotionally labile, very quick to temper, abd we often need ti remive him frim situations to cslm him down. He can also be quire anxious. There's so much more and tbh it's draining as much as I adore him.

I spoke to his HV and we were told to go to the GP and we were told that it's "extremely likely" that he has ADHD. He's been referred for assessment but all the health professionals are in agreement that he has it. It's good that you're seeking help, I'm so glad that I did! Good luck x