Deciding where? Home/Birth Centre/Hospital

[Rachie004]

I know it probably seems like I'm way ahead of myself but it's something I'm thinking about already.

During my booking appointment we were given a choice of hospitals to use for my pregnancy, we opted for a smaller hopsital which I have since discovered is a consultant led unit and is 40 minutes away from us. I'm not sure about giving birth in hospital because I one of those people who gets stressed and nervous while visiting the GP so I think this will have a negative impact on me during labour.

*I'd actually really like a homebirth,* with the use of a birthing pool although this is my first baby. My only concern is that our closest hospitals are 30 minutes away if any issues were to arise. One of the hospitals has a birth centre which I'm toying with the idea of but it's still a hospital setting, I worry about feeling out of control but at least I'd be in the right place or at least very close to if there were any issues?

Can anyone give me any advice or opinion on their experiences? I'd really like to make an informed decision. Thank you in advance ladies

 

[solitaire89]

I know it probably seems like I'm way ahead of myself but it's something I'm thinking about already.

During my booking appointment we were given a choice of hospitals to use for my pregnancy, we opted for a smaller hopsital which I have since discovered is a consultant led unit and is 40 minutes away from us. I'm not sure about giving birth in hospital because I one of those people who gets stressed and nervous while visiting the GP so I think this will have a negative impact on me during labour.

*I'd actually really like a homebirth,* with the use of a birthing pool although this is my first baby. My only concern is that our closest hospitals are 30 minutes away if any issues were to arise. One of the hospitals has a birth centre which I'm toying with the idea of but it's still a hospital setting, I worry about feeling out of control but at least I'd be in the right place or at least very close to if there were any issues?

Can anyone give me any advice or opinion on their experiences? I'd really like to make an informed decision. Thank you in advance ladies

Hi - only just seen your thread I don't think you are way ahead of yourself. I'd got it written onto my notes at my booking apt that I was looking at a home birth.

I had a homebirth for my first and was 45 min drive away from our local hospital. You need to remember that if you have a homebirth, you have a midwife with you who will be watching you closely. If there is anything that is even slightly deviating from the norm they will have you in quickly, and on blues and twos it will be faster than you can drive it.

You need to remove anything that causes you stress or worry during labour, as it can have a huge negative impact your experience. It was for this reason that I decided to have a home birth and it was a fantastic experience. I can also highly recommend Natal Hypnotherapy - I had a completely pain free and drug free labour and birth. My birth story is linked in my siggy if you want to read about a FTM having a home birth.

If you have any more questions, feel free to shout me!

 

[Rachie004]

Ha, thank you so much for taking the time to reply - I'd actually forgotten that I'd made this thread!

I've booked my hypnobirthing course which starts in January, I've had alot of hypnotherapy for various things over the years and think it is is wonderful so there was never any hesitation about me doing it as childbirth preparation

I'm 95% certain on a homebirth - I had a read of the of homebirth website which reassured my immensely (things like if there were any issues, even if I were in hospital it would still take time for things to be set up so I could be transferring to hospital during this set up time). I was actually randomly mulling it over in my mind last night and suddenly blurted out to my OH 'I DO NOT want to give birth in hospital' which is stupid because it's something that we've both always known!

xx

 

[solitaire89]

I was actually randomly mulling it over in my mind last night and suddenly blurted out to my OH 'I DO NOT want to give birth in hospital' which is stupid because it's something that we've both always known!

xx

Haha - but sometimes it helps for it just to be articulated out of the blue like that

I'm glad you came to a decision

 

[geordie_gal]

Im going to my local birthing centre, I dont like the thought of giving birth at home (My dog would be trying to get in the pool) lol and I dont like the idea of hospital - so im going for the middle ground - fingers crossed! x

 

[Celesse]

With home birth a lot of people worry about what happens if you need to transfer in. I started out at home with my first, transfered in via a blue light ambulance and ended up with a C-Section. Sounds dramatic yes?! In truth it was a very relaxed and controlled transfer, pleasent ambulance ride and all done in plenty of time before the situation got critical.

Here's the link to my old old birth story thread so you can see exactly how a transfer can look, and that its not all that scary. https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/b...irth-transfer-c-section-birth-story-long.html

If I could go back in time I'd make the same decision again. I might not have got my home birth but the outcome of my labour would not have been different if I'd planned a hospital birth and it may not have been a positive experience.

 

[MindUtopia]

Go with what feels right. I always knew I didn't want to give birth in a hospital if I could help it. It just wasn't where I knew I'd feel the most relaxed and safe. I had my daughter (my first) at home and it was fantastic.

You can read my birth story in my signature if you want (I found reading lots of birth stories helped me to think about what I wanted for my own birth). I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. I did natal hypnotherapy and never needed any pain relief other than a TENS machine. The midwives were generally great and really respectful and everything felt so relaxed and right. I plan to do exactly the same the next time.

I think if you want a home birth and you and baby are healthy, then do it. Too many women know that's what they want, but are afraid to commit to it. So they go in to hospital, have a less than supportive and great experience, and then decide they want a home birth the second time around. I think why put yourself through that the first time if you know it's not right for you? I'm so glad we went for a home birth. It's not for everyone, but nor is the hospital. You know what feels right for you and wherever that is will be the best place for you.

 

[BunnyN]

Don't let it being your first let it stop you having a HB if that's what you want. I had a wonderful HB experience with#1.

I can understand being concerned about the distance to hospital. One thing to consider is that it usually takes at least 20 mins to get an operating room ready even in a true emergency when you are at hospital so if there is good communication with the hospital by phone the transfer time may not make as big a difference as you think.

 

[Rachie004]

Yes, bunny, it is a very valid point about transfer times.

I had a read of the homebirth of the homebirth website and that was something that it covered which I hadn't really considered but it did but my mind at ease considerably.

I'm 95% certain of having a homebirth - the 5% is for the birth centre. The thing with the birth centre is that while on the one hand having intervention nearby is great, I believe that sometimes they're perhaps too quick to intervene, plus if I'm home it removes the options of pain relief. My friend had a fantastic birth in hospital (as she was considered high risk) which was aided by her partner being so supportive but she said in that moment, even though she had been SO sure of everything she did or did not want to do, she would have pretty much done or taken whatever they suggested - for example she didn't want her waters breaking but when they offered she actually nearly went for it but her partner intervened.

 

[BunnyN]

I do agree. I was very sure I didn't want drugs and although I didn't forget that there was one point after about 35hrs of labour when I thought, now I know why women get epidurals! I was in a lot of pain in my back but more than that I was exausted and discouraged because dilation wasn't progressing and I just wanted to sleep. Being at home meant it was not an option and I soon forgot about it and became focused on labour again but if I'd had hospital hours of pressure from hospital staff too I don't know if I might have given in in that moment. Some staff are great about supporting a natural birth but there seems to be more that are not. My mum said the MW actually got mad at her for not having drugs when my sister was born. Of course there is nothing wrong with changing the plan and deciding to go with drugs but it's a shame when it's just a case of a momement of weakness and lack of suport.

 

[Rachie004]

Hi girls, I just want to share my experiences of my hospital appointment today - I think you'll enjoy it.

I had an appointment with a consultant because I have an underactive thyroid gland. He was quite dismissive of the fact that I was actually high risk at all.

He did alot of talking and finally asked if we had any questions. I asked if being considered high risk would preclude me from how and where I wanted to labour. He said that it shouldn't cause any issues in how I labour or deliver and he fully expected to see me on the ward one day and I'd say 'look what I did last night' with my baby, then he said unless I was thinking about a midwife led unit, that would be fine too but we don't have first babies at home. I of course asked why not because I would really like a homebirth.

His case for reasons against me having a homebirth, amongst other reasons, included that I may not know how to push properly and having a baby is a messy business and I'm better off leaving it to them to clean up afterwards! How utterly ludicrous! He also said that they may not be able to provide two midwives so if we were in a situation where I was bleeding heavily and the baby wasn't breathing properly then who would she go to or prioritise (this actually had an impact on my OH), but I could always have my second or third babies at home if I wanted that many. I was so upset and furious that I couldn't speak and started to cry when we left the unit. It took me several hours to calm down enough to be able to think about it in a logical manner.

I was intent on changing the hospital the next time I see my midwife to one which also has a birthing centre but I'll ask her what her opinions are on the matter - I expect her to be supportive because she's a midwife and not a consultant who is orientated around problematic pregnancies and labour!

 

[BunnyN]

They don't have to have their first babies at home, you can have your baby anywhere you want . Seriously though the choice is nothing to do with him, he can only advise. It's not even legal for him to tell you where you have to have your baby.

As for the not being able to guarantee there will be MWs available thing that is a clasic thing to say to put mums off HB. There is rarely a problem when the time comes. It is their responsibility to provide the care you need at home. Of course exceptional circumstances can happen that make it hard for them to provide a MW but if he is predicting that NOW then he has time to solve the problem too . His reasoning doesn't even make sense. You can have your second baby at home because it will be easier for them to provide two MWs for a second baby? It is true that they are more reluctant for first babies to be born at home (for rather vauge reasons) but honestly he sounds like the type who says he supports HB but will always find an excuse why it's not a good idea. If he was honestly talking about the risk factors in your specific case you might want to listen to his advice but I think he was just spouting stuff.

I had only one MW at my HB because we hired an independent MW. It didn't make me feel unsafe. Of course a situation could happen where having more than one MW there was important so that is something you'd have to decide about if you were only sent one MW. There is also a lot to be said for one to one care too. I have heard of many women who were given poor care during labour because of shift changes and multiple patients, infact it's a common reason for women to want #2 at home.

I do sympathise though, I am generally a level headed, calm person who is hard to shake but doctors have a knack for reducing me to tears, one reason I wanted a HB so much really .

 

[BunnyN]

For a HB in the UK I highly recommend the book Home Birth: a practical guide by Nicky Wesson. It has a fantastic part about dealing with reluctant doctors. It covers the clasic excuses, what you can say and do, what your rights are and what their responibilities are.

 

[Rachie004]

This is what I couldn't understand, how can he foresee that 'they' may not be able to provide sufficient midwifery cover for this baby but would be able to for subsequent babies, also, are subsequent babies not as important therefore any possible risks are not considered worthwhile?

I agree with you, I think he was just spouting stuff to put me off.

Thank you for the book recommendation - I shall add it to my pile xx

 

[BunnyN]

You might also find this link useful:
https://www.aims.org.uk/homebirthUpdated.htm

 

[Celesse]

What a silly man. Ofc you can have a home birth with your first baby! You have a much higher chance of transfer but the outcomes are still better just for planning a home birth. Can you swap consultants or discharge yourself from consultant led care? Or just talk straight to your midwife?

Maybe checkout this fb page, which does have a group attached (or at least used to) and began life on B&B with the sticky thread in the home birth forum. https://www.facebook.com/HomeBirthersAndHopefuls

 

[Rachie004]

I saw my midwife yesterday. I'm not impressed my care from anyone anymore, whole different thread on that though. She asked if I'd thought about a midwife led unit which is why I've changed which hospital I want to use, this means a new consultant who hopefully won't be a tool.

I've thought about discharging myself from consultant led care, especially given that he doesn't want to see me again until I'm 34 weeks!

 

[CupcakeFairy2]

I recommend watching the documentary the business of being born. I saw it yesterday on you tube and for the first time in my life I am inspired to have a natural birth. I never thought I would say that.

 

[Rachie004]

I love 'the business of being born' I think I've probably watched it 6 times already!

 

[moomin_troll]

Oh dear lol well we don't actually need to push because our bodies do it, and my home birth was a lot less messy then my hospital birth where the mw decided to cut me and pull zane out...she wanted to get home. Throughout my birth she kept bitching about being there when it was her anniversary.
I had my second son at home, he was ready to come and crowing before the mw even turned up. And she was a waste of space. Kept telling me to push when I didn't need to, so I ignored her lol
Hope you do what makes u more comfortable, but for me if I had researched it, I'd of had my first at home too