defeated, can't do this again

[croydongirl]

This is my first post on this thread, but it's hard to explain to anyone who hasn't been there before.

I have conceived twice before, once in February by accident. That pregnancy ended in m/c at just before 6 weeks and then we decided to try for a baby and got pregnant first time last cycle but we lost that pregnancy before 5 weeks.

Both times, I had bad cramping and just this sinking feeling that something was wrong. Without having a cycle inbetween, we have fallen pregnant again. I took a FRER test yesterday and got a definite positive! I was excited but have kept it at bay because getting the two lines is just the start of a hard waiting game for hubby and I. Today I am 14dpo (4w 1d pregnant)

Last night I was up for 2 hours with severe cramping had to take some Tylenol and fell back asleep sure I would wake up bleeding. Woke up. No blood yet.

Stretching cramps pretty constant this morning just waiting for blood when I pee. Cramping eased a little this afternoon but is still on and off.

Had a spot of very diluted watery brown discharge a few hours ago and was sure that was the beginning of the end, my heart sank when I saw it.

A few hours on and still no bleeding. Cramping still here and backache too. Praying this will fade and we will continue to a healthy pregnancy but have a heavy heart that this one is ending just like the other, before they really started.

Feeling so overwhelmed and sad about a loss that I just FEEL is coming.

Jesus please give us a miracle

 

[v2007]

Sending you tons of sticky baby



V xxx

 

[sue247]

I could have writtten your post at the beginning of this pregnancy. I had a MMC in December and fell pregnant in Feb. So many times during the early weeks i would get so down and really felt like i could not handle the anxiety and worry about whether this pregnancy would end like my last one. I know there is nothing anyone can say which will make you feel better as it is just a waiting game. I tried to distract myself and even booked a short break as really felt i was going to go mad with worry, and wanted sometime else to focus on.

Cramping a little is so common in pregnancy, in every pregnancy i cramped at the beggining and think this is normal with everything stretching. Try and stay positive, there is nothing to suggest there is anything wrong as you are not bleeding. Many women have a little brown discharge (I know i did in my first pregnancy) and there is nothing wrong. Hope these early weeks go quickly for you.x

 

[Peril]

Hi Hun sorry to hear what you are going thru. I am praying you are wrong in your suspicions. I had cramping early on. And as sue says brown bleeds can be common, especially at the 4 week mark, it could be from implantation.

Thinking of you and sending lots of best wishes your way xxx keep us updated xxx

 

[meow951]

1st tri is so tough! Especially if you have had pervious losses.

Have you seen a doctor because if you keep having early losses i would expect them to run some tests on you just incase. It could be something like low progesterone etc which can be sorted with tablets.

Good luck x

 

[mommydelux]

I got pregnant without a cycle in between after my mc in April this year. Had a bit of cramping similar to yours at 4 weeks and some spotting at 9 weeks. but here we are - 19 weeks on and doing fine.

I agree with meow - see a doctor - it could be low progesteron levels that can be rectified with a little pill - as it was in my case.

Take it 1 day at a time. saying a prayer for you and sending you oddles of sticky baby dust!

 

[croydongirl]

Well after a wonderful prayer time with a good friend last night I had a great nights sleep (as great as you can get with so much on your mind and in your bladder!) Woke up feeling good but that itself made me a little anxious! To the bathroom and no more spotting overnight or when I went to the loo.

Had no cramps when I woke up but they have started to come back slowly but are no where near as intense as yesterday.

Celebrating one day at a time.

Thank you for praying with me. I just kept thinking of the story int he Bible where the women who had been bleeding for years just reached out to touch Jesus cloak. As she touched it Jesus turned around and told her, her faith had healed her. I am praying God shows me today what it means to reach for his cloak in faith.

 

[mislaww]

Good luck, croydon. Fingers crossed for you.

 

[sue247]

Glad to hear you are feeling better today. As you say, just take one day at a time.

Are you from Croydon in South London? Just wondered as i am near to Croydon too.

 

[croydongirl]

Glad to hear you are feeling better today. As you say, just take one day at a time.

Are you from Croydon in South London? Just wondered as i am near to Croydon too.

I am originally fro Croydon, I grew up there until my early 20's but then moved to Seattle for work...where 7 years later I married my hubby so I think I am here to stay but I will always have a place in my heart for Croydon and my family is there so I come to visit. It might not be special to many people but it holds so many wonderful memories for me x

 

[hb1]

Hoping this is your sticky bean

hx

 

[Lucy1973]

Really hope this one sticks for you. It is stressful being pregnant after a few losses, but just take one day at a time. I know girls on here who have had red bleeding and everything has still been fine.

 

[croydongirl]

Lucy I am just a couple of days behind you, praying we all get to hold these little ones in our arms x

 

[AugustMidge]

Sticky vibes!

Hugs

 

[Lucy1973]

Croydon girl I am praying for that too, for all of us..

 

[Lucina]

Sticky vibes

 

[croydongirl]

I had some brown spotting again this morning, and a lot more just now. Pretty convinced it's over, just feel like I am playing a waiting game now. Feeling numb and hopeless. I will update when I know more.
Thanks for praying x

 

[Lucy1973]

I am still praying everything is ok for you

 

[Lucy1973]

How is everything today Croydon girl?

 

[gemstone]

hoping everything is ok xx sending u some sticky dust! xx