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[Ganiggle]

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[Lauren-x]

If you ask me there never is a 'right' time to have a baby because it's a little person that needs all your help for the next 20 years lol. I'm 17 and pregnant but the baby wasn't planned, the BabyDaddy left me when I told him but now we're talking again so he will probably come round. Even if I end up on my own I know I'll manage and try my best as the baby didn't ask to be born under these circumstances. It's scary to think how worried he got and left, we've been together 3 years on the 30th April so him just going was a big shock and left me scared. When we talked he said he expected me to ring him, but why should I ring him when he told me to never talk to him again?

You should maybe look up finances and how you could manage with a baby, then ask him is there an age he would want to start trying. Maybe ask him if in a year he would consider TTC with you. But some people never want children, the BabyDaddy only wanted children in 10 years [when he would be 28-29] but accidents do happen so I just hope he realises that he will be a great daddy .

Good Luck with your boyfriend! But about the urges just think that when you do have your baby, it will be very special and you and your OH will both be very happy and want the baby together. I'm sure it's alot more of a nice experience when your both excited about the baby, at the moment I feel excited about this little baby but alone incase I have to do it on my own but I think I'll be fine . Sorry it was so long!! I start to blabber on lol.

 

[Samo]

I have felt the same way as you and it's been a year wait until my husband came around the bend. He too gave me the 'We'll see" answer everytime i would burst up and say "i want a baby!!!" and his reasons was also financial, saying i should first get a job, which now i am since i got myself a car.

Do both you and your OH work? Do you think he is ready for kids? Personally i never thought finances were the real reason my OH didn't want to have babies at the time, i think it was him not ready to be a father. Maybe your OH doesn't think he is ready? After getting married and living together for a year, my DH has come around and realized we're quite stable and it would be a blessing to have 1 more in the household (besides the dog!).

Good luck to you. I really think he just doesn't feel ready to be a first time father and the responsibility that comes with it. Try having a talk with him about it?

 

[Ganiggle]

Do both you and your OH work? Do you think he is ready for kids? Personally i never thought finances were the real reason my OH didn't want to have babies at the time, i think it was him not ready to be a father. Maybe your OH doesn't think he is ready? After getting married and living together for a year, my DH has come around and realized we're quite stable and it would be a blessing to have 1 more in the household (besides the dog!).

Thanks for the reply. Yes we both work. At the same job, we make pretty decent money. He's great with kids, and has said he wants to be a father. He said he is ready to be a father, but he's just scared about finances. I figured it out on paper and showed him that we'd be able to manage just fine. Maybe he's just scared?

 

[faith_may]

I know how you feel, I felt that way a few months ago and I told my DH and he said yes, so good luck

 

[Mervs Mum]

Maybe he's just not ready and is worried about admitting it out right so he's using finance and a 'sensible/solid' reason rather than admitting it might be an emotional thing and feeling vulnerable????
My husband wasn't ready last year - I was ready. I'm 33 (I had my first at 20) and I was also concerned that time was ticking by. If I'm honest I tried to pressure him at first but that made things worse so I backed off. 3 months later he was ready, and TTC so far has been lovely. Yes the waiting is frustrating but thats why I joined B&B!! Give him time and hopefully he'll come round on his own.
I was a single Mum for almost 10 yrs when my first marriage didnt work out and let me tell you, it's not a walk in the park. I think you're very brave to admit that you've thought about 'making it happen' - very honest and I admire you for that. But as strong as your urges are it's not the way forward.
There are some great girls on here and in the WTC forums so you know where to find someone if you need to talk.

 

[Ganiggle]

Maybe he's just not ready and is worried about admitting it out right so he's using finance and a 'sensible/solid' reason rather than admitting it might be an emotional thing and feeling vulnerable????
My husband wasn't ready last year - I was ready. I'm 33 (I had my first at 20) and I was also concerned that time was ticking by. If I'm honest I tried to pressure him at first but that made things worse so I backed off. 3 months later he was ready, and TTC so far has been lovely. Yes the waiting is frustrating but thats why I joined B&B!! Give him time and hopefully he'll come round on his own.
I was a single Mum for almost 10 yrs when my first marriage didnt work out and let me tell you, it's not a walk in the park. I think you're very brave to admit that you've thought about 'making it happen' - very honest and I admire you for that. But as strong as your urges are it's not the way forward.
There are some great girls on here and in the WTC forums so you know where to find someone if you need to talk.

Thanks so much for your post. I love this site! Everyone has been very helpful! It was hard to admit I had thought about "making it happen". Know that I'd never actually do it, and I know it would only make things really bad!

I've talked with my SO this week about it to try and find out what the real reason is. He's still saying money, but I also got out of him that he's afraid to be responsible for a tiny human life. I told him I was scared too. Scared, but ready. Maybe it is a good idea to back off for a while and see if he comes around without my constant nagging. The other day we went to Wal Mart, and you know how they have the parking space for woman with child?
I turned to him and said "If we had a baby we could park THERE!" hehe, he just rolled his eyes. Just little stuff like that, I keep doing.

I've been doing a little bit better with the urges this week. I painted a picture of a pregnant woman, and that seemed to help some. I just want this to happen so badly! I hate waiting *pouts*

Thanksagain!

 

[Samo]

I've talked with my SO this week about it to try and find out what the real reason is. He's still saying money, but I also got out of him that he's afraid to be responsible for a tiny human life. I told him I was scared too. Scared, but ready. Maybe it is a good idea to back off for a while and see if he comes around without my constant nagging. The other day we went to Wal Mart, and you know how they have the parking space for woman with child?
I turned to him and said "If we had a baby we could park THERE!" hehe, he just rolled his eyes. Just little stuff like that, I keep doing.

I've been doing a little bit better with the urges this week. I painted a picture of a pregnant woman, and that seemed to help some. I just want this to happen so badly! I hate waiting *pouts*

Thanksagain!

That is good you have talked to him. I do agree that you may have to wait a little while for him to come around but maybe it could be sooner than you expect! Also, about your wal-mart incident, i did the same thing with my DH! And when you go shopping...take a tour of the baby clothes and such and ooh and awww at the cute clothes and 'what would look cute on your future child.' My DH got really into that sort of thing and we start to bicker that he wants a Son first and I would love a Daughter and not long after that, he started to become more comfortable with the idea of trying.

I think you painting a picture and putting your passion for wanting a child into art is very nice. That is a good idea

 

[Ganiggle]

That is good you have talked to him. I do agree that you may have to wait a little while for him to come around but maybe it could be sooner than you expect! Also, about your wal-mart incident, i did the same thing with my DH! And when you go shopping...take a tour of the baby clothes and such and ooh and awww at the cute clothes and 'what would look cute on your future child.' My DH got really into that sort of thing and we start to bicker that he wants a Son first and I would love a Daughter and not long after that, he started to become more comfortable with the idea of trying.

I think you painting a picture and putting your passion for wanting a child into art is very nice. That is a good idea

Thanks! That is a good idea, maybe next time we go to Wal Mart, we'll "accidentally" end up in the baby section hehe. Maybe when he looks at all the tiny clothes he'll get excited about it. Right now he isn't exposed to babies at all. Nobody in either of our families has a baby, and neither do our friends, so maybe that could be a contributing factor? Maybe if he was a little more exposed to babies right now he'd be more open to the idea of trying. Something to think about I guess.

I would also love a daughter. He wants a son that he can teach all of his knowledge about hockey to hehe. My mom also wants a grandson, because she had 4 girls, and always wanted a little boy to spoil hehe. I'd be ecstatic with either one though.

 

[Mervs Mum]

Good Luck Ganiggle x

 

[polo_princess]

Hunni i think we have all felt like that at times

He will come round in time ..