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[sarah0108]

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[Arcanegirl]

Do you think shes old enough that she might understand time out?
I think that if distraction isnt working then you need to show her there are consequences for her actions, with this also to be making sure she gets 1-1 time with you even for 10/15 mins without Max.

 

[wellyboot]

I'm also experiencing sibling jealousy at the moment (though not to your extent), so wanted to send huge. I'm struggling enough just with the taking toys away, snatching, attention seeking etc., so really send you lots of sympathy.

Not got a solution, but just a practical suggestion for now that my HV gave me - could you put a travel cot up in your living room for now? With a playpen, there are bars that the older one can poke the little one through, but in a travel cot they are safer because they're off the ground and behind a mesh. Then at least you can just put your younger one in there when you have to go out of the room and you know that they are largely protected from the older one.

Even if you feel like you're neglecting Max a bit when he's in the travel cot, maybe you can just lavish attention on Harriet for a while. She'll have to be behaving better as she won't, hopefully, be able to get to him so you can 'catch her being good'. If he receives less attention for a few days but you can start to make things a bit better, it would be worth it in the longer term. As an odd idea (really don't know if it would work though), maybe you could then start to take Max out of the travel cot for short periods, with telling Harriet that if she then hurts him, she will be going into the travel cot for 5 minutes. Then gradually extend the periods of time that Max is out for.

Don't know if this will help at all, but hope things get better. It's a really horrible, difficult phase, but it is a phase and eventually, whether you find a 'solution' or not, it will pass.

Welly xx

 

[v2007]

Poor Max.

Time out might be a good way to start.

V xxx

 

[marley2580]

I'd be putting her out the room for that sort of behaviour. Kaya sometimes takes things off Blythe and she is given to the count of three to give them back or she gets put out of the room - if she can't behave in a sociable way then she doesn't get to be part of our society. I only do it until she calms down, I don't have a set time, and I never asked for an apology when she was younger. I simply asked her if she was ready to come and play nicely, if she said yes she was allowed and nothing more was said, if she said no she was left on the stairs until she was ready. It's a method that's worked well for us HTH

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

I would suggest starting a time out too.

Try not to give her attention, just say no and remove her from the situation.

My son was a bit jealous when I had R. We made a box of "special" toys so that when R had a nap we got the special box out for 1-1 time x

 

[Abblebubba]

Oh Sarah im sorry you have to go through this what a little madam she is
I definatly think as the other ladies have said a good start wopuld be a time out step- and if you think that she will get up from the step then try a time out in the travel cot
Personally i would disipline Harriet for hurting Max by putting her in the travel cot in the hall or something that way she is removed from the ''nice family play area'' and she hasnt won by getting Max put in the cot IYKWIM?
I hope this helps, cuddles

 

[MoonMuffin]

Time outs would be my advice too. It you've never done them you can start by simply putting her in the other room and going back to what you were doing, she'll likely come right back in but keep doing it, the distraction of being taken away from the situation should make a difference (even if just for a min). As she gets the message you can lengthen the time, I think the recommendation is up to one min for every year the child is. Consistency is key though, if you do time outs you have to do it every time she hurts. Its hard to do it every time but its worth it.

That aside I hate when Kathryn hurts her little brother, she pushes him over all the time or hits him, etc. (she used to even stand on his chest if I turned my back for a second!) but she's a lot better now, especially since she knows that if she hurts him or snatches his toy on purpose (and wont share) she will get a time out. I still don't trust her enough to put them together for sleeping (yup my 1 year old is still in out room, yikes!), every time I think I can put them together she has a particularly violent day!

Good luck!

 

[celine]

I think Id agree with the timeouts too, good luck hun!

 

[Blah11]

No idea BUT I used to do the exact same thing to my little brother (theres a bigger age gap though, 2 and a bit years) even standing on his head and sometimes jumping I'll ask my mum tomorrow how she dealt with it.