Delivered 11-22-14..have sooo many regrets about tubal ligation

[arikalane22]

I am so depressed over getting my tubes tied. Is anyone else feeling this?!?! I hate the thought of never being able to have another child. I'm so mad at myself and feel like I've lost something I can never get back. Yeah there's reversal and DH and I have talked about it, but it's not set in stone or anything. Idk how to deal with this. Idk if it's side effects of it or what, but I am so emotional. I break out crying over this all of the time. I'm very afraid of what it may do to my marriage. I'm not super sure how to handle this and everyone I know that's gotten their tubes tied seems to be completely fine with it and I'm an emotional wreck!! I'm also in the mindset still that since hubby and I are having unprotected sex that I could be pregnant even though I KNOW my tubes are cut and clamped. Like right now is CD24 and I've been kind of bloated since O, boobs are a little sore, and I keep having a pain in my lower left abdomen. Ugh..like I don't want to feel like this!! I need help..Anyone been through this and made it to the other side. I just feel so hopeless lately!

 

[BabyCleo]

I haven't been though this, but I just wanted to send hugs. Maybe continue to discuss it openly with your hubby and give it time.

 

[alibaba24]

why did you have them tied?

 

[SAmummy]

It must be really hard. I feel sad just knowing we are done having kids so I can imagine how hard the finality of it must be. Perhaps a reversal might be something that's worth looking into if it's affecting you so badly. I think there is always going to be that process of having to deal with having your last baby though which can be really tough for some.

 

[arikalane22]

Thanks to everyone for your kind words. Hubby and I have talked about a reversal. We considered it for a minute and then thought it was best to just leave it alone. I'm still very sad, but I cannot let it effect me any longer. I don't want to miss my baby being a baby because I'm said about not being able to have another baby.
Alibaba..I had my tubes tied because I had preeclampsia with my first pregnancy(found out at 37wks) and with my last pregnancy I had what they THOUGHT at the time was preeclampsia and low platelets and I was so convinced that that's what I had. My regular OB said that it was preeclampsia and low platelets and my high risk dr said it was pregnancy induced hypertension and low platelets. Anyway I started having problems last time at 29wks and had to be hospitalized for a week while they figured out what was wrong..I delivered at 36wks6days via scheduled csection and they still never said what was really wrong..my papers say preeclampsia though. But that's why I got them tied. We didn't think it would be fair to put our family through that again.
I honestly think that it's not really the "I want another baby" thing that bothers me about the whole thing..I think it's the fact that I will never be able to have that excitement of getting pregnant(we tried for both of our girls) and taking that one test that positive and looking at the baby's development every week and getting bigger and counting down that days until my due date and the delivery. I kind of feel like I was robbed of my "perfect delivery" this time around. I didn't want anything fancy..just wanted to go ALL NATURAL and have a mirror to see the baby crown. Instead I got a csection..and I had to be put to sleep because my platelets were too low. I mean that's not my only reason, but it's definitely something that bothers me about the whole situation.
It's complicated..lol..as you can tell

 

[bdb84]

I'm so sorry that you are feeling this way. I want to say that it's normal. Most mothers that I have talked to have expressed sadness over knowing they will never have another pregnancy/newborn/nursling/toddler, etc. But then they say, "but I can't keep having babies just so I always have one in the house"

That's what I tell myself when I get sad over this newbie of mine being [possibly] my last. I want to enjoy her while she IS still a newbie and a nursling. And then I want to enjoy every moment of her toddlerhood, etc.

 

[momofone08]

I am so sorry you are going through this. I had 3 c-sections all with complicated pregnancies and 4 early losses, so I decided to tie my tubes...and I regret it more than anything. So yes, I completely understand how you are feeling. It is hard knowing this is the last baby stage we will have. We are also thinking of ivf or a reversal, so if you ever want to talk I am here.

 

[bcos21]

Hugs!! I haven't been through this, but I just want to offer some support and remind you that right after birth, your hormones are all o er the place so this may also have an impact on the panic/sadness/regret you are feeling. Hang in there.

 

[alibaba24]

Thanks to everyone for your kind words. Hubby and I have talked about a reversal. We considered it for a minute and then thought it was best to just leave it alone. I'm still very sad, but I cannot let it effect me any longer. I don't want to miss my baby being a baby because I'm said about not being able to have another baby.
Alibaba..I had my tubes tied because I had preeclampsia with my first pregnancy(found out at 37wks) and with my last pregnancy I had what they THOUGHT at the time was preeclampsia and low platelets and I was so convinced that that's what I had. My regular OB said that it was preeclampsia and low platelets and my high risk dr said it was pregnancy induced hypertension and low platelets. Anyway I started having problems last time at 29wks and had to be hospitalized for a week while they figured out what was wrong..I delivered at 36wks6days via scheduled csection and they still never said what was really wrong..my papers say preeclampsia though. But that's why I got them tied. We didn't think it would be fair to put our family through that again.
I honestly think that it's not really the "I want another baby" thing that bothers me about the whole thing..I think it's the fact that I will never be able to have that excitement of getting pregnant(we tried for both of our girls) and taking that one test that positive and looking at the baby's development every week and getting bigger and counting down that days until my due date and the delivery. I kind of feel like I was robbed of my "perfect delivery" this time around. I didn't want anything fancy..just wanted to go ALL NATURAL and have a mirror to see the baby crown. Instead I got a csection..and I had to be put to sleep because my platelets were too low. I mean that's not my only reason, but it's definitely something that bothers me about the whole situation.
It's complicated..lol..as you can tell

I was thinking if you can focus on the reasons you had the procedure done then it may help you. you have 2 beautiful girls now. your health and the babies health is so important. I feel the same I delivered both mine by section or should i say they were delivered for me my first was iugr so c section was best for her. I really wanted to have my second naturally but my body just wouldnt labour no dilation nothing and I was just 2 days from 42 weeks. they gave me some prostin gel but all i got was contractions still no dilation. the next step was to put me on the drip which i refused because I had a pre schooler to think about and the scare of uterine rupture when forcing a powerful labour was not a great option. like you I wish things had been different but the main thing is they are here and were blessed to have them

 

[Cattia]

My DH is going for a vasectomy and I feel the same way. I was so tearful packing away my maternity clothes the other day. We have three healthy children which is what I always wanted. I know it isn't right for our family to have any more but the thought of never getting pregnant or giving birth again, never having that first moment when you meet your new baby, is so sad I guess a lot of it is hormones and at some point you have to have your last baby! I would give it a little while and see if things settle. They might have a birth afterthought service at your hospital where you can talk to someone about the birth and help you come to terms with it. I also feel not 100% happy about my birth this time around so I understand that too. Hang in there, things will get better.

 

[arikalane22]

I am so sorry you are going through this. I had 3 c-sections all with complicated pregnancies and 4 early losses, so I decided to tie my tubes...and I regret it more than anything. So yes, I completely understand how you are feeling. It is hard knowing this is the last baby stage we will have. We are also thinking of ivf or a reversal, so if you ever want to talk I am here.

How are your cycles since your tubal?? I know they can be all over the place, but mine are weird. I was SO regular before my last pregnancy. And when I got my period in March it was heavy(I expected that) and it was a 30 day cycle..then April's cycle was 30 days and now I've just started my cycle AGAIN for May. This one was only 24 days. So frustrating. And to top it off I have lots of acne which I don't normally get and I'm eating us out of house and home. Ugh.
BTW..I'm sorry you regret your tubal too. I'm "okay" with it now. I mean deep down I still regret it and I expect I will for the rest of my life, but I think DH is pretty set on not doing the reversal which is ok with me because I don't want to have to go through all that anyway. I just feel so blah..lol. Thoughts??

 

[mowat]

I had twins in April and I'm really struggling with admitting these should be my last babies (we have an older son). Anyone found any good info online for dealing with this? Our son was an easy pregnancy and birth and then I had multiple miscarriages before conceiving twins with IVF. They were such an easy pregnancy again that I'm addicted to babies! I've been focusing on getting pregnant for so long (with all the miscarriages) that I don't know how to let it go.

 

[arikalane22]

I had twins in April and I'm really struggling with admitting these should be my last babies (we have an older son). Anyone found any good info online for dealing with this? Our son was an easy pregnancy and birth and then I had multiple miscarriages before conceiving twins with IVF. They were such an easy pregnancy again that I'm addicted to babies! I've been focusing on getting pregnant for so long (with all the miscarriages) that I don't know how to let it go.

First off..I'm so sorry about your miscarriages. I couldn't imagine. With my first pregnancy I had vanishing a vanishing twin at 9 weeks, but I STILL don't know how to feel about that. I don't think my brain will let me really "feel" anything as far as that goes. I didn't know until my first ultrasound which was at my first appt and I was already 8wks along..they said that the baby had a twin but it didn't develop and I would have some slight cramping and a little spotting as it passed..it happened a week or so later(about 9wks pregnant).
I've not really found too much on this(tubal regret). There's a support group on Facebook that I have joined and the ladies there have been very supportive so that has helped. I hope you find some peace and some way to deal. When did you have your tubal??