Depressed.

[SLCMommy]

I am not postpartum, haha.

I'm just rather lonely. I moved from Minnesota to Utah because that is where my husband is from. I left family (which really doesn't matter since there's issues with my family anyways) and select few friends.

I am a stay at home mother, but our car broke down about three weeks ago & hopefully will get getting it fixed this Friday, or at least to the shop so the mechanic can figure out what's wrong with our car.

I have one daughter who is in the first grade, but the other two are still at home. One I homeschool his preschool.

I moved to Utah about five months ago. Firstly, the culture is so much different than what it is in Minnesota. I'm with people who are mostly all one denomination of faith, so I am a minority in the aspect. With no car I barley ever get out accept when I can barrow my mother in law's car. I get out once a week, IF I am lucky. Right now we live in a basement apartment which I totally loved until this depression kicked in.

Growing up, the town I lived in was small enough where everyone knew your business, economy wasn't good, and the weather in the winters are extremely brutal. I couldn't WAIT to get out of there!

Coming to a beautiful state where the weather is a little warmer, (actually, I've heard the winters here at not as bad at all, summers are hotter but it's dry heat so I was okay!!) and being surrounded by beautiful, gorgeous mountains...if asked now if I would ever move back I would definitely say no. However, with that said I miss the upper midwest and my old hometown. I miss that I knew people as I walked through the malls, and I could call up my friends and we could have a playdate with the kids. I miss the security of just it being "home". I don't have that "home" feeling yet here in Utah. Because I am new here, SAHM, no car (three weeks seems like forever), new to my church, etc... I have no friends here yet. My sister in laws are amazing people, but either live one hour away - in just ONE way; busy with their 5 children, much younger than me, or totally different than me with nothing in common. Again, I LOVE my sister in laws so much but none of them have that "spark" or the ability (physically) to really be able to create a friendship at this particular point. So, my friends right now are my children & husband. And, my mother in law is such a sweet lady. But, I don't know. I know I am rambling but I just hope there is someone out there who has somewhat been in my shoes or can just kind of sympathize with me. I know, I know..it's "poor me", but really...i'm so lonely i'm practically in tears at night. It doesn't help my husband has to go to bed at 8 PM every night because of when he has to work...and I've tried to go to bed with him but than I end up waking up at 3 AM feeling refreshed, LOL.

I talk to my old friends on FB and text, but it's just not the same

 

[puppycat]

Hey hun

I'm not familiar with the US education system, can you tell us what ages your children are?

I've been living in my house/area for just over 2 years and only in the last 8 months or so have I started to speak to my neighbours. These things take time but the best friendships often do.

It's hard to tell from one post how you feel because you do sound quite jovial at certain points in your post which is a good sign but then you said you get upset quite regularly too which isn't so good.

Does your hubbie know how you feel?

 

[SLCMommy]

My daughter Haylie is 6 (almost 7) , and she is in the 1st grade.

My son Carter is 4 (almost 5), and he is in pre-school.

My son Joshie is 3, and just plays all day!

Here in the USA, the grades are as follows:

Kindergarten, 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th, 7th, 8th, 9th, 10th, 11th, 12th (you graduate that year).

Every area & state is different as far as what grades are in what schools. For example, some schools are Kindergarten to 6th, Jr. High is 7th & 8th, and High School is 9th -12th. Other areas are K-4, Jr High 5-9, High School 10-12. It just all depends on the "district", but no matter how the schools are split, federal law has mandated throughout the entire nation that every child in a particular grade has to master a standard list of skills. So, essentially a 2nd grade in New York State should know the same things as a 2nd grader in California, although is does give or take a little.

Kindergarten starts when the child is 5, turning 6 within nine months of the first day of school.

Most of the United State schools start the school years in Aug/Sept, ending in May/June, but some are year around. I am in an area where public schools are year around. The first day of school for us starts in July, and ends in June. Instead of getting 3 long months off from school as a break, they go to school 45 weeks days, than get 15 week days off and it goes like that throughout the year.

He does know how i've been feeling. He says he can try to get the car into the shop tomorrow...yay!

 

[SLCMommy]

Oh! and I was going to add, some parents opt to put their children in "pre-school" or homeschool their children "pre-school", but it's totally optional. It's just a year before Kindergarten to make sure they are ready for Kindergarten. Things like polishing counting skills, color names, shape names, etc...

 

[puppycat]

Thanks for all that info hun, funny how it differs from the UK, Nursery here starts at 3yrs then they're in school by 4 and leave at 16yrs.

Are there any toddler groups you could take Joshie too to meet mums in the area? I take Laura to a toddler group in our local church and it gets us both out of the house for an hour.

I suffer with depression too, have just come off my tabs to see if I can get on without them. It's up and down but the trick, I have found, is to keep myself occupied, even if i'm in the house on my own. It's hard, really hard, but worth it

 

[SLCMommy]

I can definitely ask. I don't think there is one at my church but there has to be a community play group you'd think! Thanks for the advice.

...kids are out of the house in the UK by the age of 16?

 

[mkm1083]

Hi there.

I was born and raised in Detroit, moved to the Upper Peninsula to go to college, moved to Oklahoma for my first "real" job, moved to Wisconsin for another job, now back in Detroit a decade later.

Holy culture shock from MI to OK. People are actually nice there. lol It was annoying as all heck when it took an hour to get through the check out line at the grocery because everybody was just relaxed and taking their time. Meeting people that I could relate to was a nightmare. Not that there is anything wrong with them I was just a total fish out of water. Took probably about a year to settle in and start adapting and making friends

meetup.com is a great way to meet people. I don't know how I would have been able to meet the friends that I do have without it.

 

[SLCMommy]

Hi there.

I was born and raised in Detroit, moved to the Upper Peninsula to go to college, moved to Oklahoma for my first "real" job, moved to Wisconsin for another job, now back in Detroit a decade later.

Holy culture shock from MI to OK. People are actually nice there. lol It was annoying as all heck when it took an hour to get through the check out line at the grocery because everybody was just relaxed and taking their time. Meeting people that I could relate to was a nightmare. Not that there is anything wrong with them I was just a total fish out of water. Took probably about a year to settle in and start adapting and making friends

meetup.com is a great way to meet people. I don't know how I would have been able to meet the friends that I do have without it.

Never even heard of meetup.com before, but thank you. Did you find a lot of your friends on there or just a select few?

 

[mkm1083]

I tend to just keep a small group of close friends anyways. I tend to be a quieter/shyer person. I'm also not into the bar or club scene at all. I do like the larger number of acquaintances that i have (Family Outdoor Adventure Club, Single Parents of Southeast Michigan) but am soo soo grateful for the close bonds I've made in the Scrabble players group.

 

[SLCMommy]

That's awesome. I'm the same way. I hate the bar/club scene. Ick. lol