Devastated.

[Hope13]

I have been posting in first trimester and just in shock I am posting here now. I am so devastated. Yesterday was the tears, today I feel numb. I would be 6 weeks and 3 days but started spotting last Thursday. It was about the same on Friday then yesterday, when I went to the loo, there was pinky red blood when I wiped. I then had period like cramps on and off all day. I knew it was the end. After a fitful nights sleep, when I went to the loo this morning again, the blood was there. Thankfully I didn't have any cramps in the night. They are much worse when I am mobile. I have had tiny tiny clots upon wiping but as yet, the bleeding isn't reaching a pad. I am just waiting for everything to come out now and hope it is sooner rather than later as I can't cope with much more. The cruel thing is I never had any sickness up until yesterday afternoon. I had an early scan at 5 weeks where the sack was in place but the yolk was faint. I was due to have another scan next Thursday but I just can't face it, I also can't face sitting with lots of other pregnant ladies. The cramps are odd, they come and go, like its nature torturing me making me wait for this all to be over. Only blood on wiping again, trust me for it to be happening so slowly. This was my last attempt and after 4 years trying, I turn 40 in 6 weeks. Even the midwife said it was probably my last chance. I just don't know how to get over this . Thank you for reading. X x

 

[faithforbaby]

Are you sure its a mc?? Sometimes it normal to bleed in first tri. GL!!

 

[Hope13]

Thanks for comment. I'm 99% sure as I have both cramping and bleeding with the clots I mentioned. Just googling like mad to see how long it will be before the bleeding gets heavier. It's just like a mild period at the moment which is unusual
For me as I generally get heavy periods. I guess every m/c is different.

 

[ajksand]

I bled off and on for about 5 weeks. Dr thought I was just going to be one of those women who spot in the first tri. Yesterday the spotting got a little heavier but still not getting on pad, had some clots when i would go to the bathroom, had horrible cramps and about 3 hrs after cramps started I passed the baby, I bled heaven for about 45 min an am now back to just when I wipe. I was 10 weeks 6 days. I went to hospital because dh made me.

 

[Hope13]

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Words can't describe how sad this is xx

 

[sun]

Hugs Hope13
I responded to your post in 1st tri. I have similar bleeding (since last Tuesday), lots of cramping and have a scan this coming Thursday as well. I will also be devastated to find out it's a m/c since we will not be trying again. I also worry it will be a long drawn-out m/c - I would rather it just be over with if it's going to happen. Thinking of you and I hope you're ok xxx

 

[Hope13]

Hi Sun. Thank you for replying. I really hope you are ok. This is just the worst feeling ever isn't it? I have made the decision not to go for the scan as it would be in the middle of the maternity unit, sat amongst other ladies who are very pregnant. Could I ask, are you still going to work whilst you are waiting for Thursday to come round? I don't mean to be personal but are you bleeding heavily? I just don't know what to expect. I am a bit worried as I feel quite sick but apparently this can be a side effect of a m/c. I really hope you are ok. Please keep in touch as I would love to know you are ok and I am praying for a positive outcome for you. Xxx

 

[sun]

It is very worrying and I am just trying to distract myself by moving around as when I sit still I really notice the cramping. I do have bad AF cramping at the moment. My bleeding is very odd which is confusing me. When I wake up in the morning I have no pain, but it starts as soon as I'm up. The bleeding is bright red and obvious first thing in the morning and I think "this is it - today is the day" - then it gets less and less as the day goes on until it is brown by evening. Today was the worst in the morning - I put on a pad (and even brought an extra with me) and just went out with hubs. But it has almost completely stopped for the moment. So no idea. I will be going to the scan though as I need to know 100%.

I am high risk though so have been worried about m/c since I got my BFP. Because of medical issues the docs said my m/c chance is about 50% for 1st tri. Still hanging on to some hope though. I just can't let it go until I know for sure.

 

[Aleeah]

Hi Sun. Thank you for replying. I really hope you are ok. This is just the worst feeling ever isn't it? I have made the decision not to go for the scan as it would be in the middle of the maternity unit, sat amongst other ladies who are very pregnant. Could I ask, are you still going to work whilst you are waiting for Thursday to come round? I don't mean to be personal but are you bleeding heavily? I just don't know what to expect. I am a bit worried as I feel quite sick but apparently this can be a side effect of a m/c. I really hope you are ok. Please keep in touch as I would love to know you are ok and I am praying for a positive outcome for you. Xxx

I'm so sorry you're having to go through this. Life can be so cruel. I wanted to tell you about my experience of a natural miscarriage, I was 8 weeks pregnant but the baby measured 8 weeks with no heartbeat.

You've got to remember, everyone's experiences will be different and everyone's pain threshold is different. I had read a lot of stories of women in awful pain and expected the worst, ear piercing screaming is what I thought it would be like. But it wasn't for me, don't get me wrong, it hurt a lot, my forehead was dripping with the sweat and shock of the pain but I still didn't reach out and take any painkillers, so the pain was bareable. The hardest pain lasted on and off for 2 hours and I managed to cook dinner in those 2 hours, so you can appreciate it wasn't as bad as I'd anticipated. I bled a lot for 2 days, so much so I did have to go to hospital and have tests for anemia but I was ok. All in all it lasted 6 days and then no bleeding at all.

I worked from home, so I could sit up on the sofa, working on my laptop. If you have any questions at all, please feel free to private message me.

I've since been diagnosed with a missed miscarriage with twins, due to go for a D&C in the morning, my 4th miscarriage. My advice to you, if you want to have a baby, please don't give up. You still have time, my sister-in-law had a baby at the age of 41. Technology has progressed so far, you can get help. Sending you so many hugs xxx

 

[Hope13]

It is very worrying and I am just trying to distract myself by moving around as when I sit still I really notice the cramping. I do have bad AF cramping at the moment. My bleeding is very odd which is confusing me. When I wake up in the morning I have no pain, but it starts as soon as I'm up. The bleeding is bright red and obvious first thing in the morning and I think "this is it - today is the day" - then it gets less and less as the day goes on until it is brown by evening. Today was the worst in the morning - I put on a pad (and even brought an extra with me) and just went out with hubs. But it has almost completely stopped for the moment. So no idea. I will be going to the scan though as I need to know 100%.

I am high risk though so have been worried about m/c since I got my BFP. Because of medical issues the docs said my m/c chance is about 50% for 1st tri. Still hanging on to some hope though. I just can't let it go until I know for sure.

Hi again Sun. Your situation is so like mine however I find when I move around, that is when the cramps start. I don't really have them when laying down. Keep your faith. I have a positive feeling about you. I don't know why. I don't have any pain when waking in the morning either. It's all so odd. Please take care and keep me posted. I will be thinking of you on Thursday xx

 

[Hope13]

Hi Sun. Thank you for replying. I really hope you are ok. This is just the worst feeling ever isn't it? I have made the decision not to go for the scan as it would be in the middle of the maternity unit, sat amongst other ladies who are very pregnant. Could I ask, are you still going to work whilst you are waiting for Thursday to come round? I don't mean to be personal but are you bleeding heavily? I just don't know what to expect. I am a bit worried as I feel quite sick but apparently this can be a side effect of a m/c. I really hope you are ok. Please keep in touch as I would love to know you are ok and I am praying for a positive outcome for you. Xxx

I'm so sorry you're having to go through this. Life can be so cruel. I wanted to tell you about my experience of a natural miscarriage, I was 8 weeks pregnant but the baby measured 8 weeks with no heartbeat.

You've got to remember, everyone's experiences will be different and everyone's pain threshold is different. I had read a lot of stories of women in awful pain and expected the worst, ear piercing screaming is what I thought it would be like. But it wasn't for me, don't get me wrong, it hurt a lot, my forehead was dripping with the sweat and shock of the pain but I still didn't reach out and take any painkillers, so the pain was bareable. The hardest pain lasted on and off for 2 hours and I managed to cook dinner in those 2 hours, so you can appreciate it wasn't as bad as I'd anticipated. I bled a lot for 2 days, so much so I did have to go to hospital and have tests for anemia but I was ok. All in all it lasted 6 days and then no bleeding at all.

I worked from home, so I could sit up on the sofa, working on my laptop. If you have any questions at all, please feel free to private message me.

I've since been diagnosed with a missed miscarriage with twins, due to go for a D&C in the morning, my 4th miscarriage. My advice to you, if you want to have a baby, please don't give up. You still have time, my sister-in-law had a baby at the age of 41. Technology has progressed so far, you can get help. Sending you so many hugs xxx

Hi Aleeah. Thank you so much for replying. I am so sorry for your situation. Your post made me very emotional, both by your kind words and the horrible situation you are in too. I really hope you will be ok. I will private message you in a few days after your procedure tomorrow. The last thing you want is someone else bugging you asking questions when you are facing a tough few days yourself. I really hope you are ok. Thank you for explaining your previous m/c. I have a good idea now what to expect but like you say, everyone is different. Please take care of yourself and I will message you soon xxxxx

 

[bubblz82]

Hey hope 13. I lost my little angel two months ago. I am still finding it hard. I break down in tears in the middle of a shop.
Every miscarriage is different. My miscarriage was confirm a day after our anniversary. It wasn't until the next day when she past.
I went to the doctor firm a sick line and pain killers. The pain got really bad by 2 and at 3 I was doubled over with pain. I hadn't a change to take anything. Had actually boiled the kettle. I felt the need to go to the toilet. Before this I had what was like a period. I then sat on the toilet for 2 hours. It stopped enough to let me turnn music on. But I went straight back to the toilet. I went through 3 toilet rolls. The sac pat at 330. At 5 I phoned the hospital. By this stage twice I had 2 pads in and the blood went through and all over me. Blood stopped until I got to the hospital and again I bleed through 2 pads. I used a pup training pad for the car. And at bed time which I didn't need.
Sorry this is detailed but I wanted to know what to expect. Not only this side of things but you are emotionally going through this to.
This was a real hard time. It still is to this day. I did a memory box and have her a name. I am back at work but my mate will be back in a few days and she is due a month before what I would have been. I am happy for her but sad for me.
Take a day at a time and think about here And now xxx thoughts with you xxx

 

[Hope13]

Hey hope 13. I lost my little angel two months ago. I am still finding it hard. I break down in tears in the middle of a shop.
Every miscarriage is different. My miscarriage was confirm a day after our anniversary. It wasn't until the next day when she past.
I went to the doctor firm a sick line and pain killers. The pain got really bad by 2 and at 3 I was doubled over with pain. I hadn't a change to take anything. Had actually boiled the kettle. I felt the need to go to the toilet. Before this I had what was like a period. I then sat on the toilet for 2 hours. It stopped enough to let me turnn music on. But I went straight back to the toilet. I went through 3 toilet rolls. The sac pat at 330. At 5 I phoned the hospital. By this stage twice I had 2 pads in and the blood went through and all over me. Blood stopped until I got to the hospital and again I bleed through 2 pads. I used a pup training pad for the car. And at bed time which I didn't need.
Sorry this is detailed but I wanted to know what to expect. Not only this side of things but you are emotionally going through this to.
This was a real hard time. It still is to this day. I did a memory box and have her a name. I am back at work but my mate will be back in a few days and she is due a month before what I would have been. I am happy for her but sad for me.
Take a day at a time and think about here And now xxx thoughts with you xxx

Thank you for replying and I am so sorry for your loss. I am grateful you told me what to expect as at the moment, I am just having what seems like a period with cramps now and again. I just want it all to be over. I am not even leaking on pads yet. I have just pushed a Hoover around to try to get this over. Probably not wise but the waiting is horrible as you will know. A girl I work with is also pregant and I work very closely with her. I just don't know how I am going to face her on a daily basis. This is my biggest worry at the minute. Thank you for your post, it has really helped. Take care xxx

 

[Jay900]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my baby yesterday at 9 weeks. We are utterly devastated.

 

[sun]

Are you not even spotting enough to touch a pad? I really wouldn't skip out on the scan on Thursday if you can manage it. If not, could you at least get your HCG checked and make sure it's still rising? Lots of hugs to you

 

[Hope13]

I've just passed the sac Sun. For the past hour, I have never felt to much pain. I still am in agony. Laid on bed hoping the pain will pass soon. I feel so sick and wondering if anyone else has felt sick?

 

[Hope13]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my baby yesterday at 9 weeks. We are utterly devastated.

I am so sorry for you. This is horrendous. Take care xx

 

[sun]

I've just passed the sac Sun. For the past hour, I have never felt to much pain. I still am in agony. Laid on bed hoping the pain will pass soon. I feel so sick and wondering if anyone else has felt sick?

Oh I'm so so sorry
My friend had vomiting while she was miscarrying. I hope the pain eases for you soon and sending gentle hugs

 

[honeybunch2k7]

Hope, you are in my thoughts.

 

[bubblz82]

Hey hope 13. I lost my little angel two months ago. I am still finding it hard. I break down in tears in the middle of a shop.
Every miscarriage is different. My miscarriage was confirm a day after our anniversary. It wasn't until the next day when she past.
I went to the doctor firm a sick line and pain killers. The pain got really bad by 2 and at 3 I was doubled over with pain. I hadn't a change to take anything. Had actually boiled the kettle. I felt the need to go to the toilet. Before this I had what was like a period. I then sat on the toilet for 2 hours. It stopped enough to let me turnn music on. But I went straight back to the toilet. I went through 3 toilet rolls. The sac pat at 330. At 5 I phoned the hospital. By this stage twice I had 2 pads in and the blood went through and all over me. Blood stopped until I got to the hospital and again I bleed through 2 pads. I used a pup training pad for the car. And at bed time which I didn't need.
Sorry this is detailed but I wanted to know what to expect. Not only this side of things but you are emotionally going through this to.
This was a real hard time. It still is to this day. I did a memory box and have her a name. I am back at work but my mate will be back in a few days and she is due a month before what I would have been. I am happy for her but sad for me.
Take a day at a time and think about here And now xxx thoughts with you xxx

Thank you for replying and I am so sorry for your loss. I am grateful you told me what to expect as at the moment, I am just having what seems like a period with cramps now and again. I just want it all to be over. I am not even leaking on pads yet. I have just pushed a Hoover around to try to get this over. Probably not wise but the waiting is horrible as you will know. A girl I work with is also pregant and I work very closely with her. I just don't know how I am going to face her on a daily basis. This is my biggest worry at the minute. Thank you for your post, it has really helped. Take care xxx

Hey, I bleed on wipe for about a day and a half. at that stage the pain wasn't to bad. come the Monday the pain got worse. I still hadn't bleed on pad until I felt like going to the toilet. I cant even remember how I passed the days.

I work in a school. I was off the last few days of term in June. I was off work for 4 weeks. I took this off as I did not know when it would happen plus I needed time to grief. I went back to work in the school in August.Not many staff in over the summer. So I had moved on but I knew when I returned it would be hard as most of the teaching staff had not heard until they started back this week. At different points I have had staff come up me. I also started counselling. As laura is not back until next week I have been texting her over the summer. A few of us meet last week. I cried when I seen her bump. she tried to hide it. I know it is hurting her just as much.

I also have a friend who had her baby early so she is like a wee new born. Again on better days I would visit and after the 2nd visit I was holding her with out crying.

Work through it, so many women do not talk about it. A lot of women have not told anyone they are expecting so if a miscarriage happens they deal with it on their own. I know everyone is different and deal with it in diffenet ways. But do deal with it. Do not let it affect you sometime down the line. I am glad I told people, I am getting support from them. they know whats up if I start to cry