DH has lost his mojo :-(

Discussion in 'Trying To Conceive' started by mrs_rj, Apr 5, 2009.

  1. mrs_rj

    mrs_rj Well-Known Member

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    The title kind of gives it away - our sex drives have done a major swap! all the time i was on birth contral (the pill for 5 years and mirena coil for 1) my sex drvie was almost none existent and DH was always moaning we didn't BD enough. Well, since coming off the coil 2 weeks ago my sex drive is through the roof and DH has gone the oppostie - it is always me that initiates it and a lot of the time get knocked back.

    It's not that we are under pressure with TTC - we just took the decision to stop trying not to get PG. I'm just worried he is going off me! Yesterday i went shopping with a friend and thought would get some nice knickers to entice him a bit (he has never refused before!) and i text him while he was at work to say i had a nice surprise for him - normally he would race home when he finished work but today he went to see his parents first and when he got in he just said do you want to take the dogs for a walk!!!!!!!!!!

    Am i reading too much into this?! xx
     
  2. honey08

    honey08 mum2two boys/2mc

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    mine was the same uknow and we were ttc, it was after a mc so i thought omg its knocked him more than i thought, it was awful getting knocked bk by ur own OH,very upsetting a stressful,but we went to docs and he had blood,turned out he had low testostrone uknow !!! so we both started taking maca tablets (herbels) 6wk later he was tested again, all ok !!
    might be the same ?!
     
  3. polaris

    polaris Mother of two

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    Maybe sit him down and explain to him that being on hormonal birth control can suppress your natural sex drive and now that you are off it, your hormones are gone back to their natural state and you can't get enough of him. Some men get worried that you only want them for their sperm and find this offputting, especially if there has been a big change in your sex drive. If you explain to him that your sex drive is through the roof but that it's not about trying to get pregnant, he may be able to relax and enjoy it.
     
  4. Jeannette

    Jeannette Pregnant - 1st Trimester

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    I agree with Polaris (who always gives great advice :))!! In addition to that, he might be a little scared. Men can get like that when they are faced with big changes, especially the pressures and resposibilities of fatherhood! He may not even realize that's what is going on with him. Just make sure to stay focused on him and your relationship....try to keep the ttc as a secondary goal so he doesn't feel too pressured or too "convenient" :hugs:
     
  5. bungle

    bungle Mummy of 2 girls

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    Just read out ur thread to my OH in a kind of "you don't feel like i'm using you for your sperm do you hunny?" Ha ha ha and was quite surprised to hear the response. He said at first he did! A friend of ours is super fertile and in just her first month of ttc she became pregnant. I guess that i thought that if i put enough energy and enthusiasm into it that we would be the same. It had never occurred to me that my behaviour - jumping on him every other day as advised on here and shoving a pillow under my bum after sex etc would leave him feeling a bit used. I thought he'd be glad of all the sex!!! I guess they're a lot more sensitive than we give them credit for...
     
  6. Sapph

    Sapph Well-Known Member

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    My OH and I have had very similar problems.

    It's really hard, when you only have one or two days a month when you can conceive, and he's not up for it!!

    I think the key is not to pressure on. This is what I'm aiming to do whenever there's a problem, even though my temptation is to say, 'Oh, for God's sake. Your only role in this whole process is to jiz. Just do it.'
     
  7. aurora

    aurora Well-Known Member

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    lol Sapph...

    I agree 100% with polaris. Explain that its about coming off bc. It IS... I found my sex drive after the pill too.
     
  8. mrs_rj

    mrs_rj Well-Known Member

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    thank you all for your replies - what you all say makes sense so i need to have a chat with him i think - as you say, i don't think we give them enough credit about their feelings!
     

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