Did anyone stay team yellow and regret it?

[Kmx]

I'm probably over thinking this but it's nice to hear others opinions.

I am 80% sure we will stay team yellow for this pregnancy mainly Becuase I enjoy the guessing and wondering during pregnancy and also because I think it'll make labour special. And also I would like to call family and friends with the "it's a boy/girl".

I found out with my son however and I really really enjoyed it. I loved thinking of names, imagining my life with my son, decorating his nursery & bonding with him - but this time around these things don't seem as appealing as having that special surprise in the delivery room.

But... I feel I have the moment built up in my imagination where I give birth and the baby is placed on my chest and I/OH declare the sex. I know that there may be circumstances where this isn't possible.. I.e the baby has issues and needs support and where a c section is required. I guess a nurse or OH would announce it in these circumstances but i don't think it would be as I imagind and that I would feel disapointed that the moment wasn't as I had hoped and therefore I might regret not just finding out...

I also feel the baby is a girl and seem to be imagining and bonding as if it is a girl and worry this could be damaging to our relationship if it's a boy?

I really want that special it's a boy/ girl moment but Im not 100% and don't know if we will regret waiting to find out if it's a bit of a.... Let down I supoose?

I know I know I'm probably waaay overthinking things - so please share your experiences.

Oh wants the surprise but he is happy to find out the gender early if I want to.

 

[MrsMA]

I have been team yellow twice and loved it, wouldn't change anything.
I can't actually remember who announced the gender in the delivery room the second time, I was just so relieved to have him out after a quick but intense labour.

 

[AnneD]

I never regretted not finding out. I loved the surprise and asking the MW what it was, I loved not knowing for 9 months and imagining myself with either boy or girl, I loved getting ready and buying whatever I liked in fairly neutral colours (I do not object to blue on girls, and I'm not keen on everyting always pink for girls). I loved looking at names for boys and girls (we were undecided on a name for a boy even when I gave birth, luckily we had a girl). Nothing stopped me bonding with the baby before birth or after. If I am lucky enough to have another one, I'll do the same again.

 

[Teri7489]

I stayed team yellow for both and loved it. I had a complicated first labour and delivery and actually don't remember being told I had a girl, it was hours later in theatre for repair I found out. With my second I had a section where my sister looked and told me I had a son. It was lovely. Not knowing meant I could dream of names for both, looks around for little outfits in neutral colours. I bought cream and white then went shopping when thru were born for special clothes for them. If I have any more I would stay team yellow. Oh and I was convinced I was having a 2nd girl but the second I saw my sons face I was in love with my boy. Xxx

 

[Twinmum87]

Nope, best moment ever. Loved the wonder thru the whole pregnancy and birth, never once wanted to cave and find out. I had extra scans so had plenty opportunity. Had a horrific and traumatic labour and had a bit of a scare at the end as he arrived and the midwife had to ask my partner too look and see what we had 3 times as all he was concerned about was if he was breathing. We just wanted our baby and that was it. I was overwhelmed with love thru the pregnancy and birth before knowing what I was having, had no issues bonding with baby in utero. We chose a safari theme for lots of the stuff we bought. Lovely and bright and happy but gender neutral. Had white and green for the moses basket. Bought the bare minimum of clothes, just a couple packs of first size grows and vests and that was plenty to get thru first few days and just pick up a little something of more colour after the birth. We did buy some gender neutral bits in bigger sizes too thou as they were just too cute! My older kids kept asking us to find out thou and kept saying they wanted the baby to be a girl so I was worried how they would bond if it was a boy but honestly, they were absolutely fantastic. I could not have ever predicted and much they have taken to baby I am so proud of them. Has never been a single 'I wish he had been a girl' or anything.

With my twins I found out (well kind of as they got one wring and only found out what they actually were 2 weeks before the birth) and I don't regret finding out as that was what made me happy at that point in time. I know full well if I ever had any more I would 100% be team yellow again. Also, they were prem and an emergency section and boy was rushed off without me getting a glimpse as he was struggling, the surgeon yelled BOY as they pulled him out and GIRL as they pulled twin 2 out. However I am sure if it was mentioned you wanted your partner to tell you they would just not say anything, make sure baby was OK if anything dramatic were to happen (hopefully not the case!) and let him take a look and tell you once baby was sorted.

 

[LittleLala]

No regrets at all.

I didn't want to know and enjoyed the excitement. I actually kept having nightmares throughout the pregnancy that they would accidentally tell me at a scan (and due to some complications we had a lot of extra scans).

Anyway, I was induced but had 3 failed inductions and it went on for 3 days. I was absolutely exhausted by the time my baby was here, and then once he was out of me and pulled onto my chest, to my surprise, I didn't feel that overwhelming shower of love that everyone talks about. I was just relieved that he was out and that he was okay. But I felt scared that I didn't feel that shower of wonderful emotion.

But then, about one minute after he was on my chest, my husband told me that it was a boy (I was so tired I forgot to ask haha).

For me, that moment was so special and that is the moment that gave me excitement and positive emotions after birth. I'm so glad that I waited because that moment was very special for me (and helped me feel less of a monster). About 3 days later I got that feeling of overwhelming love, and struggled with the baby blues for only about 3 weeks (but it was really hard during that time).

 

[jessmke]

I don't regret being team yellow, but I was a little disappointed how it all went down. Like you, I envisioned either myself or OH looking at baby and discovering boy or girl. Instead the OB said "here she is!" as she was putting the baby on my chest, so the moment I had envisioned didn't happen. To be fair, I hadn't told the OB not to tell me so it really wasn't her fault. It wasn't a huge deal, but just not the way I had imagined it would be. Also, I sort of "knew" it was going to be a girl for my entire pregnancy, so it wasn't really a surprise. Still, I will be team yellow again if we have another little babe.

 

[Amalee]

I didn't regret keeping the sex a secret, it was a wonderful surprise to find out with my husband... But for the first couple weeks, I had trouble getting used to calling my son by his name. When I was with my husband and the baby, it was always "Hey cutie pie..." or "the little guy" and stuff like that, the terms we had been using during pregnancy. So then when I was talking to someone else and had to use my son's name, I almost called him by the wrong name a couple times, or I just had to hesitate because it didn't feel natural to say yet.

Looking back it seems like a silly thing to have cared about - I mean, it's totally understandable. But it made me feel like shit at the time.

 

[rwhite]

Looks like I'm the only one so far who did regret it. That may actually be because baby crossed her legs at the scan and would not budge, so I didn't have too much of a choice in being team yellow if that makes sense!

I found out the first time and, for the same reasons you mentioned above, loved knowing that I was having a boy. I found the shopping limited with not knowing (I tend to prefer more "boy" or "girl" clothes as opposed to neutrals, and there just wasn't much selection) and I honestly found it hard to bond with the baby properly as compared to the first time around. It was also tricky when it came to names because we had two lists and I feel like just one list would have been more straightforward. I am also very impatient and really didn't enjoy the wondering - in saying that, you mentioned that you do like that idea, so chances are it will be very different for you

Don't get me wrong, the surprise at birth and OH and myself simultaneously yelling "it's a girl, it's a girl!" was very special, but I didn't feel as if the moment was hugely more special or much more of a surprise as finding out at a scan. We won't be having any more babies, but hypothetically speaking I would find out the sex with another baby.

 

[MindUtopia]

I don't think you'll regret it. I think if you have hopes for girl over a boy, you might find yourself having a fleeting moment of sadness, but I think you'd probably feel that way anyway for a little bit. We didn't find out with our daughter and it was lovely for it to be a surprise. I actually thought she was going to be a boy (just gut instinct) though I had no preference one way or the other, so it was a bit of a shock when she turned out to be a girl. But I definitely don't regret it. Next time around we do want to find out, but only because it will be our last baby and since it was a surprise last time, we'd like to do it the other way next time.

 

[loeylo]

I found out and I'm so glad I did. Although we had a lot of scans she was a modest little lady and rarely let us see, so although we were told "probably girl" three times, all three scans told us not to shop yet as they aren't sure! Since we were told the same thing three times we were fairly confident, but I was convinced towards the end that they had it wrong and she was a boy.

When she was born, we ended up having an emergency section and they were not interested in her gender whatsoever. They just lifted her out and let me see her for a second (if that) - not even her face, I only seen her back and bum, then they whisked her away. Despite her apgar scores being 9 and 9, it still took maybe 5 minutes before they confirmed she was a girl. It was shouted over from the corner of the room when they were doing the checks.

As much as it was okay as we sort of knew it was a girl, if we had been team yellow I would have been so gutted. It was also 4 in the morning and I hadn't slept for days plus I had lots of pain relief so I felt really out of it.

At our scans I loved looking at the scan and trying to guess as they told us, I loved being able to refer to her by name when we were pregnant and I loved getting loads of girly things at my baby shower. My wee one really doesn't suit white or bright colours, she is definitely a pink girl (like me she is really pale and bright colours wash her out, white makes her look ill) so from that point of view I like having found out the gender!

 

[Moominmummy1]

I have been team yellow twice and don't regret it.At the first birth I saw his bits before anyone could tell me.The second time it was all very rushed so the midwives didn't know we were team yellow.They plonked him on bed but said here he is so hubble didn't get to tell me that time either.
It was great telling family and friends the gender etc.I find it quite unusual amongst people I know to stay team yellow though.Would stay team yellow for a third too.

 

[noon_child]

I was absolutely exhausted by the time my baby was here, and then once he was out of me and pulled onto my chest, to my surprise, I didn't feel that overwhelming shower of love that everyone talks about. I was just relieved that he was out and that he was okay. But I felt scared that I didn't feel that shower of wonderful emotion.

I know it is a bit off topic OP but to LLala, you aren't alone not feeling that shower of love. 5 day labour and I just thought "yes, that's over!". Luckily I had read that it isn't uncommon not to feel that rush, so I knew not to beat myself up, but I still feel jealous to this day of people who just wanted to gaze at and hold their new baby and had that feeling of completeness. For me the whole newborn experience was alien and alienating without the purpose that "love" seems to provide.

 

[jessmke]

I was absolutely exhausted by the time my baby was here, and then once he was out of me and pulled onto my chest, to my surprise, I didn't feel that overwhelming shower of love that everyone talks about. I was just relieved that he was out and that he was okay. But I felt scared that I didn't feel that shower of wonderful emotion.

I know it is a bit off topic OP but to LLala, you aren't alone not feeling that shower of love. 5 day labour and I just thought "yes, that's over!". Luckily I had read that it isn't uncommon not to feel that rush, so I knew not to beat myself up, but I still feel jealous to this day of people who just wanted to gaze at and hold their new baby and had that feeling of completeness. For me the whole newborn experience was alien and alienating without the purpose that "love" seems to provide.

I didn't feel it either! I had two days of false labour and then 36 hours of actual labour and by the time she was born I was just elated she was out! My hubby had the shower of love feeling and was tearing up looking at the baby on my chest, meanwhile I was joking with the OB while she was stitching me up about not giving me a "frankenvag". I was a bit worried that I didn't feel the love, but then I couldn't sleep at night with the baby in the bassinet and I had to get her and bring her into bed with me. I figured that meant I loved her, even if I didn't feel the "shower of love". Seems stupid now, but that was how I determined whether or not I loved my baby.

 

[adm16]

My husband and I just had our first child, a son, and are very happy we decided not to find out the sex ahead of time. I already knew that I wanted a (fairly) gender neutral Under the Sea themed nursery so knowing really wouldn't have changed that.

I had a c-section and the doctor actually asked my husband before we went in for the surgery if he wanted to announce the sex. So if that is something that is important to you, ask the doctor if it is possible.

 

[LittleLala]

Thanks noon_child and jessmke. Yeah Ive spoken to quite a few women now who have felt the same way. It's always reassuring. It's just that I wish someone had spoken to me about it prior to it happening. But I guess we carry the guilt for feeling that way?
In the beginning I didn't tell anyone because I felt guilty and worried that people wouldn't understand and think that I didn't love my baby. But now I'm pretty open about it and have told my pregnant friends (with mixed reactions) just so that they have an insight to a possibility that it miiiiight feel different to what you're expecting, but that it's okay

 

[PitaKat]

I was team yellow for both my pregnancies and never regretted it. I actually don't remember who announced their genders, i just remember that after my girl was born they laid her in my chest and all i could see was the top of her head. I had to ask "is it a boy or a girl?" lol! I'd do it again, but i get the feeling my hubby wants to find out next time.

 

[SpringCrane]

I loved not knowing the second time. I don't think I would have liked not knowing the first time, as everything is new and exciting, but it added something special to my second pregnancy. I also really wanted another boy but thought for sure I was having a girl. I figured if I found out it was a girl when she was in my arms I couldn't feel disappointed... But he was a boy and it was a lovely moment!

 

[Tasha]

For my first two children I knew, my third I didn't and then she was born sleeping at 36+6. I didn't get the moment I imagined at all and I regretted not knowing and bonding with my little girl rather than just baby. My fourth I knew and my fifth I knew too, she was also born sleeping. I wanted my sixth to be different to the previous pregnancy, so this time I was team yellow and it was so exciting. Everyone couldn't wait to find out if baby was a boy or girl, even the mw's as they said it is rare to get a surprise now. We told them DH wanted to discover the sex, so that happened and it was just the moment is imagined all those years. It was perfect.