Different with me??

[Belle30]

For those of you whose OH shares the care of your LO more or less equally with you... do you feel that your LO behaves noticeably differently with you than with your OH?

DS is 20 months old. DH and I both work full-time, although I work from home 2 or 3 days per week. DS goes to nursery 2 days a week, my mum looks after him 2 days a week, and me one day. In the evenings, DH and I tend to look after him together, i.e. playtime, bathtime and bedtime are joint efforts! At the weekends, DH tends to get up early with DS, and they seem to have so much fun together - DS seems fairly cooperative, laughs and squeals a lot, and just generally seems really happy. But during the week when I get up with DS, he just seems to play up! He squawks when I try to change his nappy and get him dressed, and just tries to wriggle and run away from me however he can. He protests at more or less everything I try to do with him. I try to mess about, sing, pull funny faces, let him have choices etc, but nothing seems to work, so it feels like a bit of a battle!

When I am with him during the day, he tends to whinge quite a lot, and wants me to pick him up frequently - I'm more than happy to sit and look at books with him, or do puzzles, or take him out, or play silly games or sing songs - but he's never quite satisfied with whatever we try to do! He just doesn't behave in the same way with DH, he seems less whiney with DH and just generally more contented!

Anyone else have a similar experience? Any tips / advice?

Thanks!

 

[lepaskilf]

3 months ago I so could have written this myself!!!..... But now Tom is over 2 things have gotten much better!

I think they just go through phases, I wouldn't get too worried about it! (Although I did, it's hard not to!)

 

[OmarsMum]

Omar is more whiney with me as he doesnt always get what he wants, DH doesnt set bounderies with Omar this is why he's more cheerful with his dad. For example, when wash Omar's hands & brush his teeth, he tries to play with water & write with his tooth brush on the mirror, I dont allow that but when it's DH, the bathroom turns into a complete mess. If Omar wants something at the wrong time & I say no he calls his dad.

He's also more clingy to his dad

 

[lepaskilf]

I suppose some one's gotta play the bad guy! I saw an article not long ago titled - "why dads are not very good/can't cope with being the bad guy!".... Didn't read it though

 

[Belle30]

It's true that I kind of get the bad cop role on weekday mornings, because I have to get him ready for nursery or for my mum to look after, and also get myself ready for work. So we can't go at quite such a leisurely pace as DH at the weekends! DH will usually bring him down for breakfast in his pyjamas, and let him eat and play and get dressed when he's ready. So, although I try not to rush him too much, maybe he just senses that there's a routine and a time limit, and he wants to resist! Also I've thought it may be that he knows when we get dressed we go to nursery and mummy goes to work, and maybe he's just trying to stall!

 

[lepaskilf]

I completely agree with you here Belle, My OH gets up with Tom on weekday morns and he just seems to be much more cooperative! And eats alot more breakfast than usual!!!

My OH goes away for work and can be away for a few weeks at a time so when I am doing the weekend breakfast it is much calmer, easier than the weekday saga!!!

I also think that him being with daddy, esp when he just gets back is a great novelty for both of them so Tom's always excited! and Chris is more patient!

 

[claire23]

Sophie behaves well with both of us, maybe a bit more loving with me. My DH has a lovingly strict approach to parenting and I am a softie in the family Saying that, my daughter would always cooperate with me in whatever I ask her to do or not to do, whereas she can sometimes rebel against DH if he insists on something. I find that the softer approach works better with her, although I may not be realising that she is such a well-behaved child because of the boundaries my DH has set up!?

 

[sun]

There's definitely a difference between how LO acts with OH and I. OH gets him up on the weekends, so it is way more relaxed and he has lots of time. So Bun is smiley and eats loads more than during the week when I am on a schedule. But if OH and I are both around, then Bun is very clingy to me - OH has to really play it up to distract him from whining at me to play (like when I'm making dinner). It actually gets OH down sometimes

But when it's just Bun and him and I'm not around (like bathtime) you can hear the laughing and shrieks of delight outside the house.
And if he wakes at night he will call for his dada