Dilemma (probably the first of many!)

[jojo2605]

HI ladies :wave:

Right I have a bit of a problem .

Bit of background. My mom and dad divorced when I was 9 and my mom remarried.

I am very close to my stepdad as he was around from when I was young and he was also kind more like a father to me than my dad. THis is no disrespect to my dad at all, he's not a bad man, I think he just spent so many years after the divorce feeling like the victim that he never really made enough effort with me really. I went to see him regularly though and I still do. I just don't feel he truly knows me as a person & I've never had that 'daddy's little girl' feeling you know?

Here's the issue: I know my dad has to give me away, I couldn't not let him, I would feel like the biggest bitch on earth otherwise. I would ask someone else entirely like one of my brothers but I know that would be making an issue of my dad not doing it and make the day too awkward. So decision's made on that score.

Now, when it comes to the speeches - me and my OH are not good with public speeches and to be frank the thought my dad getting up there and doing the whole 'apple of my eye' speech kinda makes me cringe as I know he'd just crack stupid (unfunny) jokes and wouldn't really have many anecdotes as he hardly remembers how old I am never mind anything else.

Soooooooo, do you think it would be weird if the only speech on the day was done by the best man (well men as OH can't decide between his two best men)? We could give one of them some words to say on our behalf thanking the people we wanted to but then thats it?

I mentioned in passing to my dad that I wasn't keen on having loads of speeches and he looked disappointed at not being able to speak and said 'that's a shame, I'd have liked to have said a few words' so already it's started that I'm getting all stressed at trying to do the right thing my us and not upsetting anyone!

The only other alternative is to have my dad speak and then my stepdad too but I fear that would be weird for them both too!

Arrghhh!!!! This is why I've put off getting married for so long!!

Sorry ladies that turned into a bit of a rant!

 

[NuKe]

i think only having the best men speak is fine. do what you want, its ur day!!

 

[jojo2605]

i think only having the best men speak is fine. do what you want, its ur day!!

Thank you Nuke I think this is what I need to hear! I just need to stick to that as if I try and find an alternative to try and please everyone else I'll probably just end up going out of my mind!

 

[honeybee2]

I have the same problem. I'm letting my own father walk me down the aisle, as I'm sure when my sister or stepsister get marriedm ,y stepfather will walk them (my sister is closer to my stepfather than our own dad). I've also let my own father do the speech. I have however, included my stepfather in the day by letting him wear a father of the bride buttonhole AND Ive included him in my speech.

Its never a win win situation hun, and with every wedding, someone gets hurt.
Thing is, you and I are in a situation which we had no control over and so we're just doing our best. Its not our fault our parents divorced and made it difficult for everyone!

 

[leash27]

I think if you want to just have the best man doing a speech then that's what you should do! Like Nuke says, its your day so its up to you! My grandad is giving me away but he is not really good with speeches (he is 75 now) so I have asked my mum to do it instead and she was thrilled! Screw etiquette and tradition and do what makes you happy!

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