Disco Derail! - TTCAL/PAL Discussion and Support!

[Round2]

I'll talk to hubby about it tonight, but I really think he needs to say something. They've already booked the Orlando hotel and now they're asking for the details on our hotel on the coast.

I'm suprised by how much this is upsetting me. I just think I put alot of hope into this vacation being a way to bring things back to normal. The last two years has taken such a toll and things still aren't normal for my marriage/family life.

Basically, the sum is that my SIL gave birth to a little girl last year that is severely mentally/physically delayed. They have no idea what is wrong with her, what the prognosis is or what her life expectancy will be. So basically, what we've been through is nothing compared to what they are going through, which is why I feel so guilty about not wanting to spend time with them.

Apprently, it was my MIL that planted the idea in their heads. She suggested watching their DD for the week, so that they could get away with us. She just called up last night and asked where we were staying and said 'I hope you don't mind'. My hubby was so shocked he didn't have time to react, so he just forked over the info. Then this morning we found out they had booked everything.

Thanks girls, I knew you'd understand. I still think I'm being somewhat hormonal. I've literally been crying all day!

 

[Allie84]

Thanks for the words of support regarding my mom. It's hard when my relationship with her is one where I'm always trying to take of her...I wish I could make her decisions for her. I was even in therapy before I got pregnant to try to deal with how much I worry about my parents...it doesn't help that I've literally saved her life before. I feel such a sense of responsibility. The stress is doing me no good, though, because....

Alistair isn't gaining weight like he should. It just started the past two weeks where he's had no weight gain. Lactation nurses said my supply is going down, possibliy due to stress!! I'm now having to pump every every other feeding to supplement and hopefully increase my supply. It's so much work and I feel so bad that I'm not making enough milk for him!! But I'm committed to making it work...pumping sucks, though, I feel like a cow and I hate it.

Anyways, enough about me...

Hearty, I was so obsessed with progesterone when I was in my first trimester. I was dreading going off of it and weaned myself down reeeeally slowly as I was *sure* it would be bad to go off of it, but my doctor was adament that once the plancenta took over, progesterone supplementation was meaningless. I kept getting a funny brown/tan discharge when I was going off of it that I kept reading into. I'm thinking that your body is just used to that super-extra-but-ultimately-unnecessary supplementation. I'm sure your doctor will be able to reassure you in 7 days as well. When I was on monthly appointments while pregnant I counted down the days as well. It seemed so far between appointments!

Round, I think you've been given some good advice from the girls. Since she's going with her family as well is there a way you can make it as separate as possible? Separate hotels and different rental cars so you don't always have to do the same thing, and as Hearty suggested, say you want a few days to yourself?

I commend you for your experience BFing your daughter! Wow!

Lucy, as I mentioned above, pumping isn't my favorite. You've gone 6 months EBF and that's wonderful!! Any amount of breast feeding at all is beneficial, so try not to worry about when you have to wean. What a clever little boy you have! He sounds so adorable.

 

[Allie84]

Hey Round, sorry, I posted before I saw your post. That's just too bad. It's not fair you're even in this situation. If they need a vacation themselves, maybe they can take your MIL up on the babysitting offer and go away themselves. Your feelings are totally legitimate.

 

[NatoPMT]

Sorry i dont have time to reply to everyone

Rounders - would a compromise make you feel more happy? ie meet with the SIL for the last few days, after you have relaxed with your family? I agree that you shouldnt have to have a holiday you havent planned, but as you feel so bad about it, then maybe that might help your guilt as well as giving you the holiday, at least in part, youd hoped for?

Hearty, just keep taking the progesterone - no point in stopping if its stressing you out and it wont harm you. Is there a reason that you are trying to wean off it? If not, dont. Not cos i think it will be an issue to come off it, as i have no idea, but i dont want you to be worried when you could be unworried.

Allie sorry, i think i missed the post about your mum, will try and read back tomorrow. Dont worry overly about the weight as youre bfing. The charts are based on formula feeding usually, are they using a bf specific chart? I met an 8 week old bf baby last week who looked like she was newborn compared to Eloise. They all do their own thing and as long as theres nothing else then it sounds fine - how d they know your milk is dwindling? are you expressing the same amount? If he needed more food, hed be hungry crying, is he doing that? If not, sounds to me like he is just not having a growth spurt at the mo. But obviously im not a midwife

quick afm, i went to TK Maxx today and bought Eloise 8 AMAZING outfits. I am SO chuffed with them, i am astounded at what gems there are amongst the crap in that shop. My shopping buzz hasnt worn off yet, i look like a crack head im that excited.

 

[LucyJ]

Thanks Amanda he is such a little character and a right monkey once he learns to crawl Im so screwed it amazes me how quickly he moves round our living room just be rolling/wiggling. Not that he roll for the camara I keep trying to capture it but he just smiles at me and stays puts. I tried again today but as soon as I turned the camara off and went to the kitchen to get a drink he had rolled came back to find him on his tummy all smiles and chatty. My mum told my niece that hes never in the same place I leave him and she thinks hes secretly learnt to walk

Allie I totally understand pumping is horrid its the only time Ive felt like a milking machine but it did help my supply. I mentioned this in your journal but could Alistair have grown in length I spoke to one of the health team about BF and Bens weight gain as it worries me especially as he has dipped down a few times and she told me sometimes babies havnt put on weight but they have grown instead.

Round Im sorry to hear what your SIL has been through is going through but I think your totally valued in how you are feeling. You need time with your family on your own time to reconnet and its important for your little girl to have some special time with you both before the baby arrives. I would get your hubby to talk to her and just explain you need some family time on your own. You shouldnt feel guilty.

 

[Dazed]

Amanda - Page 1712 post 17123. I'm not pining my hopes on it, but hey it can't hurt.

 

[Allie84]

I just went back and read the page but didn't pay attention to post numbers. Is it green tea or tinkling Nato lindt bunnies?

 

[jenny25]

Round I 2nd what the girls say I think it will be good for you too just be honest you need time too recharge and have some special time if she wants too come why don't you suggest a different hotel that way she ain't right on top of you she is like there but not you can go off do your own things and maybe meet up a couple of times ? Xxx

 

[NatoPMT]

Nato, I can back you on the green tea, even though it tastes like shite. I drank it for the last 2 months.

sorry, ignore my how long did you drink it for before bfp question...2 months? i bet it wasnt just the clomid alone that got you up the duff




DRINK GREEN TEA FOR BFP

sounds like one of those wartime propaganda slogans. but i mean it

this is the post. I meant it.

Actually, i have noticed this morning loads of ewcm and i am drinking a ton of green tea, more than i should if i were ttc - and the year i didnt drink it i had bugger all

I think the green tea works if your issue is cm. which i think mine must have been - it really cant hurt though but as its implicated in reduction of folic acid up take, i would take double the recommended dose just in case (so that would be 0.8 if 0.4 is recommended), i was on 5 anyway so wasnt worried.

 

[NatoPMT]

in my excitement, i just spilt a bit of green tea on my leggings.

 

[NatoPMT]

it amazes me how quickly he moves round our living room just be rolling/wiggling.

what a lovely image!! very cute

John has started to call Eloise 'wigglebert'

 

[Dazed]

Well, we don't have the privilege of tinkering Nato bells here I think I do have a cm problem, but I'm sure there is something else too. Thats why I'm not pining my hopes on it. I don't like tea, but I am actually becoming a tad bit fond of it.

 

[Jaymes]

I love the green tea with jasmine or green tea with orange blossoms. The sleepytime green tea is delish too. There are so many yummy varieties.

 

[Round2]

Dazed, I found the green tea worked. But I had to use the loose leaf stuff. The lipton or tetley did nothing. Good luck, I hope it works for you.

Thanks for the advice girls. I'm still in a bit of hormornal rage about it, didn't sleep a wink last night. We ended up calling my MIL to see if she had any suggestions about how to break it to my SIL gently that we wanted some time to ourselves. She of course said there was no way that my SIL would not be offended and that it would probably ruin the trip for her. So, my choices are to ruin the trip for everyone or suck it up and deal with my own emotions. When it comes to matters with my SIL everyone works so hard to protect her from everything, it just gets so draining some times.

So I've decided not to say anything, and just make the best of it. Yes, I'm upset but in the grand scheme of things, I think I'm more upset by my MIL assuming it was okay to impose than the fact my SIL is actually coming. So I will bite my tongue and put on a happy face. Sucking it up has become my middle name these days.

 

[NatoPMT]

Dazed, i didnt like it at first but now i LOVE it, especially green tea with lemon - i like the Clipper one or the Jacksons one. yummy. How long have you been drinking it for? Have you seen an increase in cm since drinking it? It took me 3 months the first time i drank it, then with Eloise, i got pregnant the first month i drank it. After a year of nothing. Fingers, eyes and toes crossed that it does help

Jaymes, your lines are looooooooking good - i love line gazing.

Rounders: Your MIL is pissing me off a bit, and its not even my holiday. Obviously. Shes answering from her perspective, SHE would be offended, not necessarily your SIL. If you have decided to go along with it, i think you could either ask for a few days alone, or arrange a few family excursions or beach trips alone - they dont have to be there every day (cant remember if they have booked the same hotel, if not it will be easier). You could for eg say you are having a family meal that night, or say you prebooked tickets to somewhere, or you arent feeling well etc etc - hopefully they will want do have a few things alone too. What an arse though, especially when you have this amazing thing going on in your life, its pretty intrusive to have gatecrashers. The fact is you DO have this amazing thing going on in your life and thats the main thing.

 

[heart tree]

Just woke up and read Round's last post and Nato's response. I agree 105% with what Nato said. I was really angry after reading what your MIL did. That's very manipulative in my mind. She is making assumptions about your SIL that she shouldn't be making. She's feeling very protective of her daughter, I imagine, which any mother would do. But it's at your expense and that's not ok. You don't have to be mean when you tell your SIL that you need some time alone. You can be very kind and say it and I'm sure she'll understand. Like Nato suggested, maybe it isn't something you say ahead of time. Maybe it's something you say when you get there. Something like, you know, we're all feeling a little tired today and are going to lay low. You guys have a great day today. We'll meet up later. Something like that. You can make it more about you than about her. Because really, that's who it's about! It's about you needing some time with your family. It's not about disliking your SIL. If you make it about you, she can't go on the defensive. And if she does, that's her issue. You are allowed your happiness too. Life is hard for everyone. Not just your SIL. Your MIL is failing to recognize that. We recognize it! We support you!!!

 

[heart tree]

Ok, now I can properly catch up.

Nato, I love TJ Maxx! There are some real gems in all of the crap you have to sift through! I can’t wait to buy baby clothes there!!

Lucy, you are screwed! Especially once he really learns how to walk! You have a very active boy on your hands!

Allie, the BF thing sounds stressful. Oh the joys of motherhood! The worry never ends, does it?

Dazed, it can’t hurt! Green tea is great. I love Jasmin Green Tea. I haven’t had any since I’ve been pregnant as it can interfere with absorption of folic acid. Make sure you are taking your prenatals too.

Happy 10 weeks Jenny!!!

 

[yogi77]

Allie you've caught me, total lurker here. I will write more in a bit when I'm on the computer ( on my phone right now and I'm all thumbs lol). I love you all and have been keeping up on everyone daily I admit! . Ali and I are doing great. , like I said I'll update here shortly! Xoxo

 

[Round2]

Ya, you girls totally get it! I actually love my MIL to bits - she's a great mom. But sometimes she likes to take over other people's live in order to do what she thinks is best for her kids. I do feel better now though that she knows how I feel about the situation. I'm sure she's angry with me, but hopefully in future she'll be more considerate.

My SIL is very respectful, she'll understand if we make up excuses to get away from them. She is staying at all the same hotels as us and taking the same flights. For me, I just hate the idea that I have to make up excuses to 'get away' while I'm on vacation. But it is what it is. I'm sure we'll make the best of it. I'll suck it up and move on!! Then come back here to vent when I need to blow up!

Nato, I'm so hitting up TJ Maxx when I'm in the States. I can't wait to go shopping down there! I'm so excited to buy things that AREN'T pink!

Yogi, glad to hear things are going so well. Can't wait for your update.

 

[Jaymes]

Lines... Yesterday was my official testing day!

Spoiler

https://farm8.staticflickr.com/7060/6886102957_1baca92e7e_m.jpg
Top, yesterday FMU
Bottom, today FMU