Do I belong here now?

[pbl_ge]

Hi Ladies!

I'm not sure I should be posting here yet, as I know one year ttc isn't very long compared to what some of you have been through. So I thought I'd ask. Need a new place to hang out, as even the 35+ forum ladies are seeming heartbreakingly fertile to me now. Story is all in my siggie.

So is this my appropriate bnb home?

Hope all here get sticky bfps soon.

 

[CaliDreaming]

Hi pbl_ge! I started posting here regularly after I had been trying for a year too, maybe even a little before. Hopefully your stay here will be short!

I see you have a lap scheduled in mid June. I also have one coming up on June 3. My doc didn't think it was a good idea at first but I insisted. I'm scared that they won't find anything wrong and I'll be in AMA/Unexplained infertility land forever.

 

[pbl_ge]

Thanks, Cali! I'll be very anxious to hear how your lap goes. Like you, I'm really scared they won't find anything wrong. I've had a weird pain for about 9 months with no explanation, and I really want to both know what it is and make it go away!

So, you're doing this to see if there's anything wrong? I don't know whether to say I hope there's nothing wrong, or that I hope there IS something wrong and they can fix it! But it's not long now.

 

[pipilotta]

Hello Ladies,
I was wondering the same thing pbl_ge, and i'm not sure where to post or what group I could join. We have been ttc #1 active for about 18 months now with no success.
We had our first appointment at the fertility clinic, and my dh was diagnosed with a low sperm count and poor motility, I'm not exactly sure what numbers, it's all a new language to us and we still have to get our heads around it.
The good thing is all seems ok with me so far, blood test good, regular cycles and we just have got public health funding approved for ivf and have been put on a waiting list to start in january.
In the meantime we continue ttc each month, because we hope it might be still possible to conceive naturally.

I wish we all get our bfp soon!

 

[pbl_ge]

Hi, Pipi! So this journey has taken so long for you, too. Interesting that your docs are taking you straight to IVF, and not through IUI first--I thought that was standard for those with sperm problems. But what do I know? I know some ladies around here who got natural bfps while waiting for IVF, so it can definitely happen!

And it IS a new language! Oh, all the stuff I've learned while on this path! And I suspect I'll be learning much more in the next few months.....

 

[CaliDreaming]

Thanks, Cali! I'll be very anxious to hear how your lap goes. Like you, I'm really scared they won't find anything wrong. I've had a weird pain for about 9 months with no explanation, and I really want to both know what it is and make it go away!

So, you're doing this to see if there's anything wrong? I don't know whether to say I hope there's nothing wrong, or that I hope there IS something wrong and they can fix it! But it's not long now.

Yeah, this is mostly to see if anything's wrong. I have a persistent cyst that needs to be removed, and my right tube may be blocked. The doctor said she'd remove any endo she found, so I guess she thinks I have that too. I'm not sure why she didn't think the surgery was a good idea. I guess it's just because IVF bypasses all of these problems, so to her there is no point in doing a surgery to find out what's going. I'm struggling to come up with deductibles and copays for the lap even with insurance coverage so there'd be no way we could afford IVF.

Hello Ladies,
I was wondering the same thing pbl_ge, and i'm not sure where to post or what group I could join. We have been ttc #1 active for about 18 months now with no success.
We had our first appointment at the fertility clinic, and my dh was diagnosed with a low sperm count and poor motility, I'm not exactly sure what numbers, it's all a new language to us and we still have to get our heads around it.
The good thing is all seems ok with me so far, blood test good, regular cycles and we just have got public health funding approved for ivf and have been put on a waiting list to start in january.
In the meantime we continue ttc each month, because we hope it might be still possible to conceive naturally.

I wish we all get our bfp soon!

Hi pipillotta! I think you'll like this board. I started feeling out of touch with the regular board after about 6 months of trying, but I feel right at home here. Hopefully we all get our bfps and "graduate" to the pregnancy boards soon.

You're so lucky that you can do IVF. I would do that in a second if I could afford it.

 

[pipilotta]

I think we are very lucky in New Zealand. Ivf is funed and free for two cycles if you are under 40. Also the basic tests from the fertility clinics are free.

Our doctor felt that my dhs results were too bad to get success with IUI. But we are not sure why. I guess that might be the down side on our public health system, because it is free it is hard to get appointments for general questions, but I do trust our doctor, and I'm very greateful of the free system, because there would be no way we could afford it otherwise as well.

We will do another more detailed semen and blood test for my dh which we have to pay for but our doc recommended, which will look into dna abnormalities, which can reduce the chances of ivf aparently, but if tested they can deal with it he said (i think). Maybe it's because of his age, he turned 50 this year. We have been married for over a year and have been together for 11 years. I'm 35 and we both never thought it would be a problem getting pregnant.

What is this procedure (lap) you are talking about? I hope for both of you it goes well!

I'm feeling much better in this board already, it's good to see that you are not the only one struggling, and it's nice to read about success and it gives me hope.

 

[SusieC]

Hi All
I've just started coming on this board more often. I've been TTC 14 months now and had 2 MCs.
Pbl-ge - my story is similar to urs - I had my first MC August 12, in fact I remember you from the loss support boards. I was investigated for endometriosis after having a massive cyst but thankfully it went away by itself and my gynaecologist gave me the all clear. Sorry you haven't got ur BFP yet - so many of those who had losses at the same time now have, which is great for them but feels hard I'm not one of them.

to all

 

[pbl_ge]

Cali, is your lap still on for tomorrow? Good luck!! I think at this point I'll hope that they find something very fixable. ...Or nothing. Sorry you don't have good coverage for this stuff. The US health care system is terrible. We're lucky to have good insurance, but a lifetime cap of $50k for infertility treatment. I thought that would last a long time through a lot of treatments, but looking at the bills we've gotten so far is really disheartening. Think we will blow through that pretty quickly, and have little leftover if we ever wanted a second. (assuming we ever get a first! )

Pippi, you ARE lucky! I've never been to NZ, but it's been a dream for a long time (and, no, not because of LOTR Sorry about your OH's problems. Is he being well-behaved and taking all of his vitamins and so forth? I know women on here whose OH's refuse.

Oh, the lap is a minor surgery where they insert a light through a small incision in your abdomen to look for possible problems. If they see anything, they'll use another incision to insert a laser or similar to cut any endo, remove cysts, fix tubes, whatever.
https://www.webmd.com/digestive-disorders/laparoscopy-16156

Susie, I think I remember you, too. So sorry you've had a second loss. I don't go to the loss support forums anymore because almost everybody but me has managed a sticky bfp before the would-have-been-due date. LTTTC is just the worst, especially with losses.

I hope we all get to join the lucky few soon!

 

[CaliDreaming]

Pippi you are so lucky to be able to get IVF for free! In the U.S. we have to pay and arm and a leg, but it is still difficult for us to get appointments, answers to questions, etc. It's more expensive here, but unfortunately it doesn't seem to be much better from what I'm reading on this board. Pbl_ge explained the lap very well. I'm getting it because that seems to be my next best shot since we can't afford IVF.

Pbl_ge, yes it's tomorrow and I am a big ball of nerves! My biggest worry is that they won't find anything and this has all been a big waste of time and money. It's so distressing how expensive it all is. My lap and hysteroscopy is covered by insurance, but my out of pocket costs are going to be over $4000. You are lucky to get $50K in infertility coverage. I would probably try to pay as much out of pocket now and then save the rest in case you need IVF. Seems like $50K would be enough to cover two kids or more. Hopefully you won't need it though!

 

[FrancoRie710]

Hi ladies,

Next month will mark a full year that DH and I have been ttc, although this is my 13th cycle since they are so short. I have not so much as had a late period, and I've never seen a second line on a preg test. I'm starting to get fed up with the other boards too. I was on a thread where a girl announced her bfp and in her sig it had a ttc ticker that said she had been ttc for... wait for it... two weeks and 6 days! Not that I begrudge anyone their bfp, of course not, but I really felt that I didn't belong on the same ttc thread as a girl who started trying yesterday and was already pregnant! I'm sure you understand.

I'm on CD5 today, and usually the beginning of my cycles I feel pretty good and optimistic with the fresh start of a new month. This time has been different. I don't know if it's the reality setting in that I might actually be infertile or what, but it's been hard. I have an appt. with an RE in July and I'm hoping he can pinpoint what the problem is. So far every test I've had done has come back completely normal. My cycles are pretty regular. The only issue is that I'm not pregnant yet.

 

[pipilotta]

Cali, is your lap still on for tomorrow? Good luck!! I think at this point I'll hope that they find something very fixable. ...Or nothing. Sorry you don't have good coverage for this stuff. The US health care system is terrible. We're lucky to have good insurance, but a lifetime cap of $50k for infertility treatment. I thought that would last a long time through a lot of treatments, but looking at the bills we've gotten so far is really disheartening. Think we will blow through that pretty quickly, and have little leftover if we ever wanted a second. (assuming we ever get a first! )

Pippi, you ARE lucky! I've never been to NZ, but it's been a dream for a long time (and, no, not because of LOTR Sorry about your OH's problems. Is he being well-behaved and taking all of his vitamins and so forth? I know women on here whose OH's refuse.

Oh, the lap is a minor surgery where they insert a light through a small incision in your abdomen to look for possible problems. If they see anything, they'll use another incision to insert a laser or similar to cut any endo, remove cysts, fix tubes, whatever.
https://www.webmd.com/digestive-disorders/laparoscopy-16156

Susie, I think I remember you, too. So sorry you've had a second loss. I don't go to the loss support forums anymore because almost everybody but me has managed a sticky bfp before the would-have-been-due date. LTTTC is just the worst, especially with losses.

I hope we all get to join the lucky few soon!

Pippi you are so lucky to be able to get IVF for free! In the U.S. we have to pay and arm and a leg, but it is still difficult for us to get appointments, answers to questions, etc. It's more expensive here, but unfortunately it doesn't seem to be much better from what I'm reading on this board. Pbl_ge explained the lap very well. I'm getting it because that seems to be my next best shot since we can't afford IVF.

Pbl_ge, yes it's tomorrow and I am a big ball of nerves! My biggest worry is that they won't find anything and this has all been a big waste of time and money. It's so distressing how expensive it all is. My lap and hysteroscopy is covered by insurance, but my out of pocket costs are going to be over $4000. You are lucky to get $50K in infertility coverage. I would probably try to pay as much out of pocket now and then save the rest in case you need IVF. Seems like $50K would be enough to cover two kids or more. Hopefully you won't need it though!

Cali, good luck for tomorrow from me as well. I hope everything goes well and you will get some answers. Thanks for explaining the lap pbl_ge!

I know we are very lucky to live here. We don't have a special Health Insurance, so for me it would be impossible if I would live in the US. I would really struggle to come up with that kind of money. And even IVF is no guarantee for success. I hope we all get lucky.

Pbl_ge, New Zealand is a beautiful country, and lots of it really does look like LOTR haha, make sure you come over for a holiday with your kids one day. My Dh hasn't been taking vitamins so far, but I will talk to him about it. We didn't really think about this, because we only got his results back a short time ago. We are eating quite healthy, hardly drink and don't smoke, so I really never thought about it too much. I only take folic acid, because it seemed quite expensive and unnecessary to continue with expensive vitamins after a LTTC, but I will add some more if I should get lucky one day.

Hello Susie C and FrancoRie!

 

[pbl_ge]

Hi, Franco! Sorry you've made it here, too. I definitely understand what you're saying about the death of optimism. I can't get myself excited to think about getting a bfp anymore. It just really seems like it's not happening. Of course, it's hard to kill the hope that comes in during the TWW. I'm 7 dpo now, so I get to start torturing myself with bfn HPTs soon! As far as this:
Not that I begrudge anyone their bfp, of course not, but I really felt that I didn't belong on the same ttc thread as a girl who started trying yesterday and was already pregnant!

Really? I DO begrudge that! Good for her and all that, but F! OFF! I don't feel any obligation anymore to be happy for people who got pregnant quickly. I've come to view it kind similarly to the people who are born into money or other kinds of privilege. They got lucky, and they do not deserve kudos or respect for that kind of luck. But I think the past year has really turned me into a bitter old b****. I think it's a nasty side effect of I/F.

Cali, hope today goes well! We'll look forward to your update!

Pippi, OMG I don't even want to know how much I've spent on supps in the past year. I do think it's a lot less than some other women around here. The DHEA, high grade CoQ10, and that sort of thing are super pricy! If you haven't already, you should definitely do some searching for threads around here about improving sperm quality. There's lots of easy, cheap things to do. I think zinc supplements are one? I don't know a lot about it, as my OH's sperm are good. I'm the problem with us.

Lots of dust to one and all!

 

[FrancoRie710]

Hi, Franco! Sorry you've made it here, too. I definitely understand what you're saying about the death of optimism. I can't get myself excited to think about getting a bfp anymore. It just really seems like it's not happening. Of course, it's hard to kill the hope that comes in during the TWW. I'm 7 dpo now, so I get to start torturing myself with bfn HPTs soon! As far as this:
Not that I begrudge anyone their bfp, of course not, but I really felt that I didn't belong on the same ttc thread as a girl who started trying yesterday and was already pregnant!

Really? I DO begrudge that! Good for her and all that, but F! OFF! I don't feel any obligation anymore to be happy for people who got pregnant quickly. I've come to view it kind similarly to the people who are born into money or other kinds of privilege. They got lucky, and they do not deserve kudos or respect for that kind of luck. But I think the past year has really turned me into a bitter old b****. I think it's a nasty side effect of I/F.

Cali, hope today goes well! We'll look forward to your update!

Pippi, OMG I don't even want to know how much I've spent on supps in the past year. I do think it's a lot less than some other women around here. The DHEA, high grade CoQ10, and that sort of thing are super pricy! If you haven't already, you should definitely do some searching for threads around here about improving sperm quality. There's lots of easy, cheap things to do. I think zinc supplements are one? I don't know a lot about it, as my OH's sperm are good. I'm the problem with us.

Lots of dust to one and all!

Thanks! I had to laugh when I read your EFF OFF! to the bfp girl! That was my immediate reaction honestly, but I had to remind myself that she meant no harm. Still, I haven't gone back to that thread! I see the email updates and just delete them. Thanks for the laugh, I needed it!

 

[pipilotta]

Haha, you made me laugh too pbl_ge I'm totally with you girls. I try and avoid the main boards now.
I don't even test anymore, too much money and I get disappointed too easy. I will test if I should reach cd 32, my longest have been 31. And if I should get a bfp I will stock up on other prenatals.
Zink for Dh sounds good, I read about it too.
FrancoRie, I was relieved to find this section in BB, I hope you find it easier here too. I know we all rather not be here, but it's nice to have some people going through a similar thing.
Cali, I hope the lap went ok!

 

[CaliDreaming]

Hahaha! I am totally enjoying making fun of bfp girl. The thing I hate about people who get bfps that quickly is that they think of themselves as experts in all things TTC after getting theirs.

AFM, my lap went very well and I my recovery is not nearly as bad as I thought it was going to be. During the lap they found that my left tube was wrapped around the 5 cm cyst that had been hanging around for months. The cyst was not a simple ovarian cyst like they had thought, but was a paratubal cyst that wasn't going away without surgery. My doc had initially advised against the lap but she said it was a good thing I went through with it after finding out about my tube entangled in the cyst.

My right tube was blocked unfortunately and she wasn't able to unblock it. She has no idea on how it got blocked since it's not from an infection or adhesions or anything. It's blocked from the outside but in such a way that she can't unblock it. She said not to worry about it since my left tube looks good and healthy, and she said studies show that having two tubes don't improve your chances of getting pregnant much more because either tube is able to pick up the egg.

I also had a hysteroscopy just in case. My doc had not expected to find anything there either, but it turned out I had a small polyp that was irritating the inside of my uterus. It's possible that it was making implantation difficult. I got my bfp when I conceived dd after I started taking baby aspirin, so my theory is that the aspirin reduced the irritation long enough for dd to implant.

Finally, my doc said that she found no endo or adhesions of any kind.

So other than the blocked right tube, the surgery went as well as I could have hoped. I have my post op appointment on July 3 and will start on Clomid/injectibles/Ovidrel again for my August cycle. I will have two cycles before starting fertility meds again. We will be trying in the meantime, but I view those cycles mainly as time to heal up after the surgery.

 

[FrancoRie710]

Hahaha! I am totally enjoying making fun of bfp girl. The thing I hate about people who get bfps that quickly is that they think of themselves as experts in all things TTC after getting theirs.

AFM, my lap went very well and I my recovery is not nearly as bad as I thought it was going to be. During the lap they found that my left tube was wrapped around the 5 cm cyst that had been hanging around for months. The cyst was not a simple ovarian cyst like they had thought, but was a paratubal cyst that wasn't going away without surgery. My doc had initially advised against the lap but she said it was a good thing I went through with it after finding out about my tube entangled in the cyst.

My right tube was blocked unfortunately and she wasn't able to unblock it. She has no idea on how it got blocked since it's not from an infection or adhesions or anything. It's blocked from the outside but in such a way that she can't unblock it. She said not to worry about it since my left tube looks good and healthy, and she said studies show that having two tubes don't improve your chances of getting pregnant much more because either tube is able to pick up the egg.

I also had a hysteroscopy just in case. My doc had not expected to find anything there either, but it turned out I had a small polyp that was irritating the inside of my uterus. It's possible that it was making implantation difficult. I got my bfp when I conceived dd after I started taking baby aspirin, so my theory is that the aspirin reduced the irritation long enough for dd to implant.

Finally, my doc said that she found no endo or adhesions of any kind.

So other than the blocked right tube, the surgery went as well as I could have hoped. I have my post op appointment on July 3 and will start on Clomid/injectibles/Ovidrel again for my August cycle. I will have two cycles before starting fertility meds again. We will be trying in the meantime, but I view those cycles mainly as time to heal up after the surgery.

Why would your doc "advise against" the lap? Good thing you persisted!

 

[pbl_ge]

Cali, glad you're doing okay! Good for you for insisting on the lap. Very prescient. Sad about the right tube, but I've heard and read several places that missing a tube does not reduce your chances by much. Freaks me out frankly--that fact does not gyve with my layperson's understanding of lady parts, but what do I know? And good that it was only a small polyp, so they could remove it and fix things easily. Now just a bit of recovery and then FX your sticky bfp is right around the corner!

...Do hope that recovery goes easily. Sounds good so far. How are the drugs?

Glad I'm not the only one who...um...wants to hurl expletives towards those with lightening-fast first-time-sticky bfps. Not freaking fair, but it's not their faults. But AGREE that it is UNACCEPTABLE when they think they know something about TTC after that.

Pipi, good for you about not testing! I got a bunch of the ICs when I bought OPKs, so I'm much more likely to test early these days. I got one of these https://www.amazon.com/Combo-Ovulat...c&ie=UTF8&qid=1370393632&sr=1-1&keywords=opks, so the tests are only ~$0.31 (assuming same price for OPKs and HPTs). Who cares about wasting that much money if it means you can indulge in the POAS addiction?

Other addiction I'm trying to break: symptom spotting. Especially since I've been adding in new meds it's hard not to read into things.

Anyway, hope you ladies are doing well. Sending you dust!

 

[CaliDreaming]

Why would your doc "advise against" the lap? Good thing you persisted!

She didn't think it would improve my chances very much and a lot of doctors don't like to proceed with any kind of surgery unless it's absolutely necessary. She was pushing me to do IVF from the beginning, so some docs believe a lap wouldn't have really made a difference if I went that route even if I had endo. I wasn't suffering from pain or anything so she didn't see enough of a reason to do the surgery. Dh and I had decided against IVF because of the cost so the lap, which is covered under my insurance, was going to be our only way of improving our chances. Plus I was really concerned about the cyst even though they kept telling me it was not a problem. Also, I read studies that removing endo can improve chances of IVF success if we were to change our minds and go that route.

I understand her reasoning, but I'm glad I followed my gut and did what I thought was best for me.

Cali, glad you're doing okay! Good for you for insisting on the lap. Very prescient. Sad about the right tube, but I've heard and read several places that missing a tube does not reduce your chances by much. Freaks me out frankly--that fact does not gyve with my layperson's understanding of lady parts, but what do I know? And good that it was only a small polyp, so they could remove it and fix things easily. Now just a bit of recovery and then FX your sticky bfp is right around the corner!

...Do hope that recovery goes easily. Sounds good so far. How are the drugs?

Glad I'm not the only one who...um...wants to hurl expletives towards those with lightening-fast first-time-sticky bfps. Not freaking fair, but it's not their faults. But AGREE that it is UNACCEPTABLE when they think they know something about TTC after that.

Pipi, good for you about not testing! I got a bunch of the ICs when I bought OPKs, so I'm much more likely to test early these days. I got one of these https://www.amazon.com/Combo-Ovulat...c&ie=UTF8&qid=1370393632&sr=1-1&keywords=opks, so the tests are only ~$0.31 (assuming same price for OPKs and HPTs). Who cares about wasting that much money if it means you can indulge in the POAS addiction?

Other addiction I'm trying to break: symptom spotting. Especially since I've been adding in new meds it's hard not to read into things.

Anyway, hope you ladies are doing well. Sending you dust!

I'm not as sad about the right tube as I thought I'd be. I guess because I've known about it since I did the HSG and I was able to get pregnant with dd without it.

The drugs have really helped with recovery. The vicodin makes me so sleepy so I've switched to ibuprofen. The pain has not really been that bad so I probably could have gotten by just with the ibuprofen.

Those ICs really are a life saver. I couldn't imagine having to go to the pharmacy to buy those expensive tests! I used to test all the time with them, but getting 50+ bfns really has hurt my soul, so now I don't test nearly as much as I used to. I probably will start testing again once we really start trying again.

 

[FrancoRie710]

So Cali- i'm assuming that they could see the cyst when you did the HSG but they couldn't see that your tube was wrapped around it? When I did the HSG it looked like my tube was pretty straight, it would seem that your tube would look crooked if it was wrapped around something.

I've had the same thought about the lap since it's covered by my insurance.