Do I have GD already!?

[teacup22]

Hey,
So the last few weeks I've been thinking about the gender more. It makes me cry when I think about it... because I feel guilty I want a girl over a boy.
I've debated not finding out but will I still feel like this even after the scan when I don't know the gender, I feel like I'm mourning a girl already and I don't know it's not a girl!
Am I crazy!?

 

[joeegurl06]

No not crazy at all, however if you do fear that you may be disapointed that you may not get a girl, you may want to consider finding out the sex. It will give you time to prepare and try to get over your GD. You don't want to feel disapointed when you give birth then you may not bond with baby. Just my opinion though but I think a lot of us ladies who have gone through this would agree to find out and not wait. Good luck and keep us posted!

 

[maybebaby3]

when do you find out the gender?

 

[teacup22]

4 weeks Monday.... Ages away

 

[Willow87]

Is this your first baby? I honestly felt the same way as you and for that reason decided to stay team yellow. WHY? because I knew finding out it was a boy at 20 weeks would have left me feeling pretty blue and bitter for the rest of my pregnancy. I did not want that! I wanted to enjoy my first pregnancy. Yes there is always a chance that you might be a bit disappointed at the birth but the way I see it, I will have a gorgeous new baby depending on me from that moment on and I won't have the time to be disappointed at him being a boy and no one else will have to spew their shitty comments because they will be too busy cooing over my new baby. I have also come to terms with it being a boy. I'm 100% convinced that the only thing that would shock me would be this baby being a girl LOL.


There are pros and cons to finding out. Hope you find peace with whatever you chose to do.

 

[teacup22]

No my second baby (5th pregnancy!) I have a son already

 

[motherofboys]

I considered not finding out but you need to really think and work out whether you are they type of person who when the baby is born and you find out its not what you wanted, will be so over whelmed that you simply wont care any more.
Or if you will be disappointed when you hear the words "its a boy" straight after birth.

For me as someone with a history of post natal depression and not bonding with my baby (NOT gender related) I worried that I would spend 9 months building myself up to the possibility of a girl, and then when it wasn't a girl at birth I might feel such a disappointment that I didn't bond because I was still adjusting.
I decided that it was better to have that extra time while pregnant to get used to the idea of a 4th boy and get over the disappointment so that when he was born I didn't feel anything but love and happiness that he was finally here.
It was going crazy for those first 16 weeks going back and forth between whether it was a boy or girl, and crying over it and praying.
When I had my scan and found out it was a boy I was fine. I finally knew and could stop torturing myself.

For some people not finding out works because they are so in love with their baby when they are born they don't even think about the gender. For others its better to know and prepare yourself.
I was not enjoying my pregnancy and I felt awful because I wanted to enjoy every moment knowing there was a chance it was my last, and having taken so long to get pregnant in the first place. Once I knew I was having another boy, I saw the excitement on my boys faces, people stopped saying "wonder if its a girl, oh thats a sign of a girl", we named him, started looking at things for him, bought him some clothes. And I am enjoying my pregnancy much more.

 

[teacup22]

I considered not finding out but you need to really think and work out whether you are they type of person who when the baby is born and you find out its not what you wanted, will be so over whelmed that you simply wont care any more.
Or if you will be disappointed when you hear the words "its a boy" straight after birth.

For me as someone with a history of post natal depression and not bonding with my baby (NOT gender related) I worried that I would spend 9 months building myself up to the possibility of a girl, and then when it wasn't a girl at birth I might feel such a disappointment that I didn't bond because I was still adjusting.
I decided that it was better to have that extra time while pregnant to get used to the idea of a 4th boy and get over the disappointment so that when he was born I didn't feel anything but love and happiness that he was finally here.
It was going crazy for those first 16 weeks going back and forth between whether it was a boy or girl, and crying over it and praying.
When I had my scan and found out it was a boy I was fine. I finally knew and could stop torturing myself.

For some people not finding out works because they are so in love with their baby when they are born they don't even think about the gender. For others its better to know and prepare yourself.
I was not enjoying my pregnancy and I felt awful because I wanted to enjoy every moment knowing there was a chance it was my last, and having taken so long to get pregnant in the first place. Once I knew I was having another boy, I saw the excitement on my boys faces, people stopped saying "wonder if its a girl, oh thats a sign of a girl", we named him, started looking at things for him, bought him some clothes. And I am enjoying my pregnancy much more.

This was very helpful thank you! xx

 

[motherofboys]

I hope it made sense. Its just a matter of working out whether a surprise will help your gender desire and possible disappointment or if the build up could make it worse and you need time to adjust.
Good luck what ever you decide and I hope you get your desired gender