Do people treat you diffrently

[x_Rainbow_x]

do you feel like people treat you diffrent just because you struggle to have a baby..

im getting quite sick of people treating me like a idiot. Its either they go over the top and make me feel like a complete ****** or they just ignore you and act like your not part of anything..
sometimes i feel like my TTC is not as good as others so therefore i get pushed out. Or Ignored.
and if one more person says dont worry itl happen just dont think about it ill scream...
Its like this place is the only place that understands..

 

[jacky24]

I know the feeling, no one in my family or friends know how i feel about TTC, not having all my problems, but my OH, but i also try not to place any of my stress on him...

But we all are here, and we know and understand your pain and inside struggles.....

 

[HoneyWright]

People dont really know we are trying only a few close friends. Im lucky I have a few who have also found it long and hard but my best friend has fallen just looking at her DH and although im over the moon her suggestion of 'you just need a lot of ' made me feel a bit mad, im infertile not stupid!

I dont know if anyone else does this but around people who dont know, i seem to go into auto-pilot with a list of reasons why ive choosen not to have kids! We have been married 2 years and i think im trying to stop people thinking im a freak because we dont have children!!

 

[hopeful4baby]

Don't know really. I just find that people aren't sympathetic at all. They have no idea Their either try to ignore it or give you stupid advices. My friend who's been ttc #2 for 11 months now told me, after me pouring my heart to her that medical world can't find any reason why it is taking us this long: "I know it was only lack of opportunities with us!" This really hurts! So I'm just some sort of freak who can't do the simple task YOU obviously CAN!
At work nobody knows, but I'm getting bombarded all the time because I've worked here 2,5 years and everyone knows we are happily married, but not popping out with anything yet. I wish I could scream at them to shut up!!!

 

[rachelle1975]

I feel really lucky - everyone has been awesome to me and DH.
DH has recently told his work colleagues that we are having IVF and their response? 'that's great mate'... pat on the back... etc. etc.
MIL was the worst hit - she was distraught but all my friends have been very positive and supportive. When i told a friend a work, i found out 3 of my colleagues had also had it. One of them said 'it's only when you talk about it, you realise there are so many people in the same boat'...... i have found that to be pretty true xx

 

[Helen]

Wow Rachelle that really is a good experience.

I think one of the things that hurt me most was a friend of mine who was a single Mum would never let me or DH babysit even for an hour. I felt as thought she was thinking "what the hell would they know?".

 

[rachelle1975]

Funnily enough my best friend is the same as your friend - totally tactless despite needing clomid to fall pregnant. But hey, she is only 1 person and the rest have been awesome so i kinda cling to that - keeps me sane x

 

[vineyard]

I feel really lucky - everyone has been awesome to me and DH.
DH has recently told his work colleagues that we are having IVF and their response? 'that's great mate'... pat on the back... etc. etc.
MIL was the worst hit - she was distraught but all my friends have been very positive and supportive. When i told a friend a work, i found out 3 of my colleagues had also had it. One of them said 'it's only when you talk about it, you realise there are so many people in the same boat'...... i have found that to be pretty true xx

That seems to be my experience as well. It's rather amazing how many people in our daily lives have been in the same boat. People are either really understanding or they don't say anything. I think many don't say anything because they realize it's something they couldn't possibly understand having not experienced it.

 

[MissMonty]

Wow Rachelle that really is a good experience.

I think one of the things that hurt me most was a friend of mine who was a single Mum would never let me or DH babysit even for an hour. I felt as thought she was thinking "what the hell would they know?".

Yes I've had this too - a friend of mine told me she would never let anyone who did not have children baby-sit her child - my DH and I used to baby-sit all the time for our niece and nephew and my young cousin so although we do not have children yet we are more than capable of caring for a child - her words really upset me.

 

[TrixieLox]

People either treat me like I am seriously ill (honestly, family that know kinda tip-toe around me and cast me sympathetic looks when kids are around) or think I'm 'exaggerating'. For example, my bro's girlf thinks I'm being 'silly' 4 thinking I might have problems after a year or trying and still nothing. Says she can't beleive I've already had a fertility meeting and have a HSG coming up. Makes me feel like I'm being a drama queen.

 

[jk28]

Hi there

I know exactly what you mean!! After more than 5 yrs ttc I think I've heard all the cliches, "it'll happen", "you'll be next", etc... I think if people haven't been through infertility then they really don't know what to say!! But, yes quite a few people know what we're going through & I also get the sympathetic looks, especially when people say they're pg, or I hear someone's pg, my friends or family look at me waiting for me to break down on the spot! I generally feel that if we are lucky enough to have our much wanted baby our friends & family will throw the biggest party ever & probably be relieved that they don't have to keep tip-toeing around us!!

Love Jayne x

PS A person at work told me when ahe fell pg (after long time trying) that all I needed to do was lie down after 'the deed' with my legs crossed!!!!

 

[CurlySue]

My other half told his mates a fair while ago that we were having problems. Since his mates are grown up children, big kids so to speak, they responded a lot better than I thought they would. On the day of our first fertility appt his friend Gary texted to ask how it went and I saw the text he sent back.

"She needs help with ovulation" - and Gary sent one back saying "Oh, I think Debbie is probably the same."

When he told them we were having IVF they said "Oh fuck, so it might be a Tag Team?"