Do you ever worry your other LO will get left out once baby is born?

Kandl123

Family of 3, soon to be 4
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I'll do everything in my power to make sure it doesn't happen. But it will makes me scared. And I've only just found out I'm pregnant!!
 
My 2nd son was a little out of place when 3rd son was born. 1st two are 14 mths apart and are near inseparable and i don't think DS1 ever felt left out. DS2 warmed up to DS3 after a few weeks and now 15 months on absolutely adores his little brother. He was 3 turning 4 when he was born. We just tried to include him in everything :)
 
Nope. My kids are younger than yours, though - 3.5, 2 and 1. Still, I make all of them a part of the pregnancy, treat the baby as the whole family's baby, not just mine. I call them "our baby". My kids have all been excited for each new baby to come. I've done this with each of my pregnancies, and I haven't had any issues with anyone feeling left out or jealous at all. I am also known to let all of my kids lounge on me while I nurse my newborns or when I cared for my baby nephew, and I taught my older kids how to change a diaper using their baby dolls. They think they're ready to take over as soon as this baby is born. Haha
 
I'm really worried about the attention being taken off of dd when the new baby comes. She'll only be 11 months old when the baby comes. She's my world and I already feel guilty just thinking about not being able to give her all the attention at such a young age.
 
I'm really worried about the attention being taken off of dd when the new baby comes. She'll only be 11 months old when the baby comes. She's my world and I already feel guilty just thinking about not being able to give her all the attention at such a young age.

This is exactly how I feel. But my DD is 4, she's my world and it's always been her and the full attention on her. I'm worried she won't get all the attention anymore. I just don't want her to feel left out or jealous
 
I feel this way with DS2 just cause there are so many boys in this family and if it is a girl I just feel like everyone will be more excited!
 
I'm really worried about the attention being taken off of dd when the new baby comes. She'll only be 11 months old when the baby comes. She's my world and I already feel guilty just thinking about not being able to give her all the attention at such a young age.

This is exactly how I feel. But my DD is 4, she's my world and it's always been her and the full attention on her. I'm worried she won't get all the attention anymore. I just don't want her to feel left out or jealous

It sucks doesn't it? I feel like I'm jipping her of the spotlight and I can't imagine loving another one as much as her. Plus she's such a good baby I know we got spoiled and highly doubt #2 will be as good.
 
Before I had my 2nd, I was so incredibly worried. This gave me peace and it's EXACTLY what happened. They love each other to the moon and beyond.


Loving Two


As I walk along holding your 2-year-old hand, basking in the glow of our magical relationship. Suddenly I feel a kick from within, as if to remind me that our time alone is limited. And I wonder: How could I ever love another child as I love you?


Then she is born, and I watch you. I watch the pain you feel at having to share me as you've never shared me before. I hear you telling me in your own way, "Please love only me" And I hear myself telling you in mine,"I can't," knowing, in fact, that I never can again.


You cry. I cry with you. I almost see our new baby as an intruder on the precious relationship we once shared. A relationship we can never quite have again.


But then, barely noticing, I find myself attached to that new being, and feeling almost guilty. I'm afraid to let you see me enjoying her -- as though I am betraying you.


But then I notice your resentment change, first to curiosity, then to protectiveness, finally to genuine affection.


More days pass, and we are settling into a new routine. The memory of days with just the two of us is fading fast. But something else is replacing those wonderful times we shared, just we two.


There are new times -- only now, we are three. I watch the love between you grow, the way you look at each other, touch each other. I watch how she adores you -- as I have for so long. I see how excited you are by each of her new accomplishments.


And I begin to realize that I haven't taken something from you, I've given something to you. I notice that I am no longer afraid to share my love openly with both of you. I find that my love for each of you is as different as you are, but equally strong.


And my question is finally answered, to my amazement. Yes, I can love another child as much as I love you -- only differently.


And although I realize that you may have to share my time, I now know you'll never share my love. There's enough of that for both of you -- you each have your own supply.


I love you -- both. And I thank you both for blessing my life.

~Author Unknown~
 
Before I had my 2nd, I was so incredibly worried. This gave me peace and it's EXACTLY what happened. They love each other to the moon and beyond.


Loving Two


As I walk along holding your 2-year-old hand, basking in the glow of our magical relationship. Suddenly I feel a kick from within, as if to remind me that our time alone is limited. And I wonder: How could I ever love another child as I love you?


Then she is born, and I watch you. I watch the pain you feel at having to share me as you've never shared me before. I hear you telling me in your own way, "Please love only me" And I hear myself telling you in mine,"I can't," knowing, in fact, that I never can again.


You cry. I cry with you. I almost see our new baby as an intruder on the precious relationship we once shared. A relationship we can never quite have again.


But then, barely noticing, I find myself attached to that new being, and feeling almost guilty. I'm afraid to let you see me enjoying her -- as though I am betraying you.


But then I notice your resentment change, first to curiosity, then to protectiveness, finally to genuine affection.


More days pass, and we are settling into a new routine. The memory of days with just the two of us is fading fast. But something else is replacing those wonderful times we shared, just we two.


There are new times -- only now, we are three. I watch the love between you grow, the way you look at each other, touch each other. I watch how she adores you -- as I have for so long. I see how excited you are by each of her new accomplishments.


And I begin to realize that I haven't taken something from you, I've given something to you. I notice that I am no longer afraid to share my love openly with both of you. I find that my love for each of you is as different as you are, but equally strong.


And my question is finally answered, to my amazement. Yes, I can love another child as much as I love you -- only differently.


And although I realize that you may have to share my time, I now know you'll never share my love. There's enough of that for both of you -- you each have your own supply.


I love you -- both. And I thank you both for blessing my life.

~Author Unknown~


Wow either that is touching or my hormones are all over. As I have just cried my eyes out while reading that. Thanks so much for that :) xx
 
Thank you for sharing that poem, it really hit home for me as my dd is 2 1/2:cry:
 
The guilt you feel at first is something horrid!:cry:
My daughter was 2 when my son was born (Now 6 and 4), and you feel guilty for spending time with your toddler, guilty for spending time with your newborn, guilty for not spending enough time with both of them... and then you still need some alone time! Its amazing how everything falls into place. In the beginning, the little one sleeps alot, and it gives you time to bond with your toddler, then quicker than you know it, then the toddler wants to be involved as the bigger sibling helping and protecting etc. But expect a little guilt... as though you're spreading yourself thin. Lol! :flower:
 

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