Do you ever...

[jk28]

Hi there

Yes to all, (although we also have a dog & 2 cats & they've kinda turned into pet children...sad but true). After 6 yrs & all the treatments, my biggest fear is that I'll never have anyone call me mummy & that's all I've ever wanted!! I also worry that although I have a fantastic, supportive DH that I'll ruin our marriage because of infertility!!

Love Jayne x

 

[Blue12]

Awe Jane..........I worry the same things.........

 

[subaru555]

The answer to all of those is YES!

Hugs sweetie, chin up xx

 

[sparkle83]

yes, all of the above

do you ever... feel incredibly angry with those around you who have goten pregnant easily, so bad that you want to scream at them?

do you ever... sit there while friends go on and on about the birth of their new baby and think 'ffs, you KNOW what I've been through, and still think I want to hear your gloating?!?!'

do you ever... wonder if somthing really bad is gonna happen, like you getting cancer/getting killed in a horrific accident, and thats why you haven't had a baby, so that they don't have to go through that?

do you ever... feel that other people getting pregnant reduces your chance, even though you know it makes no sense?

do you ever... feel that you and DH are the 'one in seven' couple for every person you know in real life?

 

[reallyready]

Wow. I should have read this post the last two days when I was at home in bed feeling so alone and sad. I have been feeling all of those things and more. The gust of wind....whew, you said it!

I wish I could take a year off work and just concentrate on this, only this, because it is more important to me than anything. And yet.....that is not my reality.

My eyes fill with tears reading your posts.

Do you ever feel....that this is the most natural thing to want in the world and why is it being withheld?

Do you ever imagine....that your baby is waiting for exactly the right time for you to arrive? (this is my hopeful side)

14 months TTC at 39 years young.
Hugs,
Really Ready

 

[Blue12]

It is crazy all the thoughts that run through our heads as we try to understand why something this terrible and natural is happening. There is no way to explain it to ourselves and so we start to wonder so many things.

Thank you everyone for sharing their thoughts...it does help to know that we are not alone in our thoughts.

Sparkle, I have thought all of things before except the one about something bad happening - interesting.

AND I DO OFTEN LOOK AROUND AND COUNT THE COUPLES IN A RESTAURANT AND THINK THAT WE ARE THE 1 IN 7 OR 1 IN 10 COUPLES FACING THIS. I ALSO LOOK AROUND AND JEALOUSLY THINK THAT IF WE ARE THE INFERTILE COUPLE, THEN ALL THOSE AROUND US AREN'T - YES I REALIZE THAT IT DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY - BUT IT IS HOW I FEEL SOMETIMES.

yes, all of the above

do you ever... feel incredibly angry with those around you who have goten pregnant easily, so bad that you want to scream at them?

do you ever... sit there while friends go on and on about the birth of their new baby and think 'ffs, you KNOW what I've been through, and still think I want to hear your gloating?!?!'

do you ever... wonder if somthing really bad is gonna happen, like you getting cancer/getting killed in a horrific accident, and thats why you haven't had a baby, so that they don't have to go through that?

do you ever... feel that other people getting pregnant reduces your chance, even though you know it makes no sense?

do you ever... feel that you and DH are the 'one in seven' couple for every person you know in real life?

 

[sparkle83]

glad to know my weird neuroticisms are unusual... thought I was losing my touch! The whole death/cancer/disaster one is the one that plagues me most

 

[reallyready]

Sparkle83: glad to know my weird neuroticisms are unusual... thought I was losing my touch! The whole death/cancer/disaster one is the one that plagues me most


Sparkle,
I've thought similar things about maybe I'm going to die and this is why I'm not conceiving.
I think those thoughts are pretty natural to all of us.
It is important though, for me anyway, to shift my thoughts. For me I accept that I think them but then I counter the thought with second thought ....more positive and imagining myself happy with an infant (usually carrying the baby on a beach and I'm quite tan and thin too! ) Hey, it's my fantasy so....

 

[Blue12]

You ladies are better than me..........I fear that I will finally get my little wish.........and then it will all be taken away by a catastrophe............that is secretly my inner fear.

 

[jk28]

Yes I also think that there may be a reason why I'm not going to have a child, like death/cancer,etc....& I also agree & thank sparkle & all the other ladies that have posted as I don't feel so crazy in my thoughts. It's only people who are going through this that truly understand these thoughts we have.

Love Jayne xx

 

[Blue12]

Well said Jayne!

Best wishes.

 

[honeycat]

I have a lot of those feelings. I'm not really sick of our IF journey - yes I wish it didn't exist. I think other people are sick of hearing about it, but I don't care. I am also sick of ivf, but grateful to it at the same time. Sick that my life has come to this. The fact that I consider ivf normal and conceiving through sex abnormal is just weird. I have to keep reminding myself that it is the opposite. I wish that there could be a community of just infertile couples - no worries about seeing a pregnant belly or baby.