Do you take your younger children to funerals 4-6 y/o?

[MommynWaiting]

Is in inappropriate to take a 4 and 5 year old to a non-relative funeral viewing? Would you do it? Have you done it? Thoughts?

Thanks.

 

[LilDreamy]

I personally wouldn't want to. I went to a close relatives funeral for the first time when I was 10, a bit older than yours, but from that day forward I seemed to develop depression. Death to me wasn't real or I wasn't quite aware of it before then. but ever since going to the funeral, it became real and I went through extreme depression and fear.... For only God knows how long.

Not saying it will happen to your children... I just wouln't feel comfortable bringing them.

best of luck and sorry to hear the bad news for you.

 

[MommynWaiting]

Thank you for responding. The 4 and 5 year old are my niece and nephew, but we had a family friend pass away.

Originally, my initial concerns about having the children at the funeral viewing was how their presence may effect others, but you make an even better point with regard to how the viewing may effect them. Thank you.

 

[smelly07]

This is a hard one, i think if the child is old enough to understand and can be told what to expect then i think they should have the option to choose if they want to go....BUT only if they were close to the person/had a relationship with the person.
If it was aunty fanny they met once or someone they hardly knew etc then no i dont think there is any need but if its someone close like a friend or god forbid parent or sibling then yes i would explain and give the choice, x


i also think the aspect of the funeral needs to be taken into account i.e open coffin...... as a child i went to quite a few funerals the last one being my dads when i was 16. although out of all of them the only one i wanted to go to was my dads..... there were parts that i was unaware of..... that i would not of wanted to be put through ad wouldnt of if i had known before hand.... so i think its very important that children are aware of what to expect before choosing to attend.

 

[fidgets mammy]

I didnt allow my son to go to my grandads funeral. me and my grandad were very close and i knew i would strugglew to cope and i did not want my son to see me or anyone else really upset as this would upset him. hes a sensitive soul.. i personally dont think at 4 or 5 they are emotionally able to cope with the situation, the wake maybe as emotions have generally calmed by then but not the service.

 

[RachA]

I would only take mine if it was a family funeral. I do t really think there is a need for them to go to anyone else's unless they were very close to them. You can still explain death etc to them without them needing to go-DS was I only 2 when his great-grandad died and he didn't go to the funeral but he did to the celebratory wake afterwards. Even now he talks about great grandad and him dying and being in Heaven etc.

 

[Vonnie18]

I think 4 & 5 are far too young for a funeral, personally even for a family funeral. I was 13 when I went to my first funeral and even that was hard enough x