Do you think it's important for dad-to-be to be present?

[tommyg]

Yes it was lovely to have him their. He cuddled DS while I was being stitched up.

He had to leave a few hours after the birth and it kind of bugged me come the afternoon visit he never took advantage of the extra hour fathers are allowed in before everybody else.

 

[Mummy Bean]

Dont think i could have got through it with out him there...deff wouldnt want anyone else there.

It was our special moment.

 

[bekkie]

I couldn't imagine DH not having been at DS' birth... and cutting the cord, and holding him right away... I can't imagine going through all that without him right beside me...

 

[lynnikins]

Dh has been there for every one though he nearly missed ds2's arrival and he was my only assistant ( no mw or medical professional ) for ds3 and honestly i would hate to give birth without him there

 

[xxxemmaxxx]

I wouldn't be offended if OH didn't want to be there and wanted to wait outside.. I wouldn't want him to do anything he didn't want to.. he could be saying it for a good reason like he could have a panic attack or make me worry more..

My boss looked down the business end and it made him go all funny and when he was handed the baby he actually fainted (Still holding the baby) and crashed into the luckily empty pool.. baby wasn't hurt but he was knocked out and spent 4 hours in A&E!

My OH does want to be there however, and I've said if there's any moments you want to leave the room or I want you to leave then we'll just say. We are pretty honest about it.. I said however he mustn't look down the business end!

 

[XJessicaX]

Oh yes, for me there was NOTHING I could have done for my husband to be more proud of me than labour. Just hearing him cry and thanking me for bringing our baby safely into the world I will never forget

 

[magumbo]

i was induced after 2 weeks of being over due and he was with me the entire time. He brought me water, food etc. Held my hair/ held me up while I was getting sick, fetched a midwife when the pain got really bad. Then at the birth he really spurred me on and held baby while I got my stitches.
He kept saying how proud he was of me and how great I was, which is exactly what I needed! He was amazing. Said it was "beautiful"
However, I knew he would be and he knew not to keep asking me questions and the like. If you're not sure about DTB and his ability to cope, trust your gut. The last thing you need to be is annoyed/ irritated/ etc.

 

[scotskid]

I told my boyfriend I'd prefer if he's there, but wouldn't be TOO upset if he chose not to/didn't make it (we presently live in towns 20 miles apart and he doesn't drive, so he'd need his mother to drive him through). Which is actually a lie, I'd be devastated if he didn't make it. But every couple's different. My dad doesn't understand the logic of men not wanting to be there, since he jumped at the fact he could be present at mine and my siblings' births.

 

[Nibeley]

I couldn't bear it if my hubby wasn't there, after all it's his baby too. I feel it is something we should both share and he will reassure me.

However... he is staying up head end only (both of our wishes) as he said to go the other end would be like watching his favourite pub burn down!

 

[Mummykez]

For me it was but it isn't ideal for everyone x

 

[Misslatino]

Hubby says he wants to be there but baby girl is head up still so we may end up with a c section and he has already said if I feel like my mom would be more help that he would have no problem waiting outside. It's important he's there for it all to me but some men really don't want to be there because they don't want to see all of that. I don't want a mirror and am happy I don't have to see it! I also told hubby that he is not to look down under any circumstances without my authorization!

 

[darkriver]

My husband has been adamant from day one that he wants to be there for the birth, he wont cut the cord though .

 

[snowfia]

My OH was my rock when I gave birth, and I'm sure he will again with this one.
He would have been so disappointed if he wasn't there. He loved being there, being one of the first people to see and hold his child, experiencing it all, getting emotional etc.
I wouldn't have wanted him to wait outside, I just think it's his child as much as it is mine and he has just as much right to me there as me haha.

 

[Cassie96]

I think it depends on the circumstance, I was always 100% that I wanted him there with me alongside my mum but because of the way he treats me and what hes puts me through this entire pregnancy, I don't really know if I want him to be there.
After all your birthing partner is there to support you through labour, right? And what do you do if he wouldn't support you and he would just cause more stress for you?

 

[lauren26]

I think a huge part of the reason that husbands waited in the waiting room during our granparents' generation is that women were basically put completely under during labor and delivery. Many women I know from that generation had their babies under sedation and anesthesia and were not awake for the birth. I imagine it's not a pleasant process when done this way and possibly it's because of that reason that fathers weren't allowed in. IMO, it's the father's baby and the father's birth, too, so he should be allowed to decide unless it's a circumstance where the father is unwelcome for personal reasons--violent, bad relationship, etc. I would and could never ask my husband to miss the birth of his child.