Do your ex's bother with the kids?

[RaspberryK]

Mines being a dick head and has got a new girlfriend which apparently means his weekends aren't free to see the children!

So what are your arrangements and do they stick to them?

Xx

 

[ClairAye]

My children's father hasn't seen them in almost 10 months. He got a new girlfriend about a week after we split up and so was never consistant because he always put her before his children. They moved away together in March after he hadn't been in touch for 5 months so... I gave my ex way to many chances and I got everything thrown back in my face

I'm sorry your ex is being a dick

 

[RaspberryK]

Sounds similar then, we were together 11 years and less than 3 months since we split he's found someone else despite 2 weeks ago maintaining that he loves me still and wanted to see if chances of reconciliation were still zero.
He's had so many chances too.
I got so mad that he's put his children second place but I'm worried it's coming across as jealousy rather than the actual reason which is him not prioritising the children.
I actually feel sorry for this woman, she has no idea what she's getting herself into.
Xx

 

[ClairAye]

I still worry I look jealous, but I'm definitely not, fact is I really hate him for everything he did to me and our children. My ex was also spouting bullshit about how much he cared about me and how he wanted to be in our lives... Whilst he was living with his girlfriend. Also about 10 days before we split up he was talking about moving back in to be a family etc! (we split a few months previous and I moved out with the kids, but we basically got right back together, stupidly.) He gave up trying after I told him I didn't want a personal relationship with him though, in fact, it's the last thing I told him before he stopped contacting me!

Having your children put in second place is such a sickening feeling. So many times he said he'd come see them but he was posting on Facebook about what him and his girlfriend were up to and it hurts knowing that they can put someone they hardly know before their own flesh and blood.

 

[modified]

Nope. He's not seen her. Not even a photo.

 

[RaspberryK]

He just gets worse, he called ds from hers tonight and gets ds to talk to her dd on the phone - err that's so not appropriate.
So he couldn't possibly make time for ds but he was there playing happy families with someone he's known 2 weeks.
Wonder how she'd feel if it was her and her children too, I'd not get involved with a man had I witnessed that.
Xx

 

[ClairAye]

What!? That is not on! How can either of them think that is okay? I'm shocked my ex's relationship is still going, he doesn't pay for them and moved about 300 miles away from his kids... How can someone stand to be with a person like that? I could never get involved with a bad dad! Bad dads are bad people IMO!

 

[RaspberryK]

Hi modified I remember you from when I was pregnant and mmc before dd, nice wrap! My god your baby daddy worse than mine hun.

Agred Clair.

xx

 

[pandacub]

Jacobs dad sees him once a month, but he's not in his life in any way that really matters. He also got a gf a week after we split :/ fortunately I get on with her, but he is bloody lucky I've allowed things to remain amicable.

 

[MilitaryMummy]

Me and my dd's dad split when she was 6/7 months old. he saw her every week. Then he didn't show for about 9 months and decided to take me to court in this time for more access and overnight (which obviously he didn't get). Since then he has her every other Sunday and isn't even consistent with that.

Which makes matters worse he cheated on me to be with his cousin... yes folks you read that right, and her 3 children (none are his). One of which is a 6 year old daughter (a year older than our dd) who he buys everything for.

last week was our daughters birthday. He had her the Sunday before her birthday and didn't even get her a card. He now wont see her again till next week. He sent no message for her birthday or anything.

DD has now got to the point that she is not overly bothered. She doesn't mention him at all. My new partner has been in DD's life since she was 16 months. She has decided to call him dad and always talks about him.

Sometimes there is only so much you can do to help these men be good dads. In the end as long as you can say with a clear conscience to your children that you done the best for them, let the dads ruin everything on there own.

Hope your ok xxxxxxxxx

 

[RaspberryK]

Sorry to hear about your ex's being crap Fathers too, let the dad ruin iton their own is my motto now too.
Xx

 

[Ceejay123]

I'm so sorry to hear about his inconsistency. x

 

[baileybubs]

I could have written half of these as well. My ex and I split a month after I had my son, but to be honest I should have kicked him out way before. 2 days after we split he was dating an 18 year old he worked with (he's 28 and I'm 32). He started seeing his kids once a week for a couple of hours initially but only when it was convienient, he then wanted me to take them to him all the time, provide nappies and formula etc yet gave me no money for support. It's been 5 months now since he's seen them, he sent ds a present with his mum (kids grandma) on his birthday and my dds pressie too which was 3 months late!! He tried inviting himself to my sons birthday party at my house when he hasn't seen the kids for 5 months and I refused, said he could come up any other time but didn't want his party ruined by this stranger who my son doesn't know, he apparently took that to mean I have said he can't see the kids.
He also was begging for pictures of the kids (usually with a response from me of "why don't you come and see them then you can take your own pictures"). He's been using the pics I've sent to post on Facebook so that everyone thinks he's a great dad. Meanwhile I'm being made out to be th bad guy when he can't even be arsed to come and see them or give any child support! Too busy with his 18 year old gf (who is amazingly still with him almost a year later!).

 

[RaspberryK]

What a dick! Xx

 

[ClairAye]

I could have written half of these as well. My ex and I split a month after I had my son, but to be honest I should have kicked him out way before. 2 days after we split he was dating an 18 year old he worked with (he's 28 and I'm 32). He started seeing his kids once a week for a couple of hours initially but only when it was convienient, he then wanted me to take them to him all the time, provide nappies and formula etc yet gave me no money for support. It's been 5 months now since he's seen them, he sent ds a present with his mum (kids grandma) on his birthday and my dds pressie too which was 3 months late!! He tried inviting himself to my sons birthday party at my house when he hasn't seen the kids for 5 months and I refused, said he could come up any other time but didn't want his party ruined by this stranger who my son doesn't know, he apparently took that to mean I have said he can't see the kids.
He also was begging for pictures of the kids (usually with a response from me of "why don't you come and see them then you can take your own pictures"). He's been using the pics I've sent to post on Facebook so that everyone thinks he's a great dad. Meanwhile I'm being made out to be th bad guy when he can't even be arsed to come and see them or give any child support! Too busy with his 18 year old gf (who is amazingly still with him almost a year later!).

Sounds so like my ex. I told him I didn't want a personal relationship with him and he took that as 'I'm not letting you see your kids' ... What the? He also kept photos of the kids up as his cover photo for a while but has now removed it. I don't think anyone would believe the drivel he comes out with about him wanting to be a dad as he moved 300 miles away! These 'men'! Dickwads.

 

[baileybubs]

I'd like to think people don't believe my ex but his family don't seem to give a monkeys so they must partly believe him. Although I get the distrinct feeling his dad believes less than his mum coz his dad always gives me money when he sees me out of sight of his mum, he knows his son isn't helping so wants to help where he can. His mum was willing to bring him to my sons birthday party last week without even asking me if it was ok that they brought him! They may be his kids too but he hasn't seen them for 5 months and this is my house so I thought it was really rude of her to just tell him he could come with them! That was the only reason he was going to come though, coz someone was going to give him a lift here, when i suggested coming up earlier in the day (before my family arrived!) on the train he magically didn't answer and didn't show up. Pure laziness and selfishness, but then I don't know what he tells people. I'm sure he's telling anyone who'll listen that I don't let him see them. He had the cheek the day after Father's Day to send me a message saying "happy Father's Day, oh wait that was yesterday wasn't it?", apparently he was upset I hadn't sent him a Father's Day card from the kids!!

 

[Kate&Lucas]

Mine does, luckily. We have a loose arrangement in which he has Lucas overnight on Fridays and one evening through the week when he's free. It changes during the school holidays and is just sort of on a week-to-week basis. This week for example he's having him over Thurs-Sat because he's off work then. He's pays maintenance through CSA.
It used to be a lot better, we had a good co-parenting relationship in general and would take Lucas on days out or FOB would stay for tea now and then, and we'd keep in touch by text through the week. He got a new gf about a year ago though (who for unknown reasons seems to despise me), and it's been a lot less easy going since then. Still, I really can't complain.

 

[teal]

My ex has never met my son. Not my choice. I tried and that's all I could do. His loss because my son is wonderful xx

 

[RaspberryK]

Oh teal !

Kate I'm thinking thar this girlfriend is going to spoil the coparwnting thing we had going on and it's going to make me look like the bitter ex if I make a fuss.

Xx

 

[modified]

My ex has never met my son. Not my choice. I tried and that's all I could do. His loss because my son is wonderful xx

Ditto. I've asked him numerous times if he wants to meet her. Told him not to reply straight away, to take some time and think. "I don't need any time - I don't want to."