Does anybody really understand?

[lanet]

We've been ttc for 15 months. I feel betrayed by my body and by God. I know I'm being a big baby. My husband has low speem count and I have irregular ovulation. And now we are adding performance anxiety because this whole thing has just become so stressful and no fun. I have such a hard time being around pregnant women, it just makes me want to cry. I feel like giving up but I just don't think I can do that. I feel so alone. We are waiting 3 months to give my hubby's sperm a chance to increase with antibiotics and then we are going to move on to IUI. I never in a million years thought we would be here. I don't know what to do with myself. I'm usually a really optimistic person, I just needed somewhere to vent.

 

[CanadianMaple]

I am feeling the same way. We have a 0% chance of pregnancy right now and it makes me hurt every single day. It's so unfair.

 

[lanet]

We went to a urologist and after stating repeatedly that my husband never takes any medicine and rarely ever has a drink, he told him to not drink or take any medicine and that will help so much, that was it, all he said. So that was no help since we already refrain from those things. I am so frustrated, and sad. Thanks for your response. I've heard that SA can be different each time. Are you guys doing any treatments at this point?

 

[CanadianMaple]

Oh, how frustrating.

We're totally on hold. I know we probably have testicular failure because I asked the nurse for DH's results. They are no help in the meantime, they are making us wait months before we can talk to someone. The genetic tests may be 3 more months (max time) and then it takes 4 weeks to see the urologist.

I'm totally obsessing about IF and I am feeling depression/anxiety starting to creep in. DH'S is no help, he's upset by the azoo, but would give up any day if I wanted to. He's not even able to comfort me these days.

I really hope your 3 months fly by and it's worth the wait.

 

[lanet]

I am in the same place, DH doesn't know how to begin to comfort me and I feel like I'm stressing him out by talking about how everyone is pregnant and I'm so sad about it. He's a wonderful husband but I think men only understand this to an extent, my arms actually ache for another baby. I hope you get to talk to someone sooner and get a solution. It's so frustrating and unfair.

 

[terces]

I totally understand how you feel, so vent away. You'll have your good days and your bad days. We've been trying since September 2010. I just started taking Metformin along with Provera to induce a period and then also taking Clomid. I've been on clomid for 5 months now and my Dr. is hoping that with the Metformin it will work. Good luck to you ladies. Hope we all get to love on our babies soon.

 

[jessandaj]

Im so sorry i often feel the same way specially about god and feeling like hes being so unfair to me but i try and think that there is some kind of plan he has and hes got something else in mind for the months i dont get pregnant though it doesint feel like it i hope you get your bfp soon and i know about the whole pregnancy thing, im like it with babys to my SIL and her husband and baby are finally moving out of his parents and im just soooooo glad cause now i dont have to see them and there baby all the time when we go to see his parents ever week and i feel bad for not wanting to be around but its so hard

 

[mjemma]

I don't think anyone who hasn't been through LTTC understands, but the ladies on here do and it is a safe place to vent. I have good and bad days. I am on my first cycle of clomid and feeling quite positive but yesterday had a big breakdown out of nowhere so we all know how you feel.

 

[lanet]

Thanks ladies, I did 3 cycles of clomid, and my husband has already done 1 round of antibiotocs. I guess that's why I'm having a hard time being positive. I'm scared to do IUI because if it doesn't work, I don't know what I will do. We are paying for everything out of pocket which just adds to the stress. I hope we all get our BFPs soon. I know God has a plan and a reason and the timing will be just right but I really struggle to be patient sometimes.