Does anyone else have a problem with hubs having low sex drive?

[Menelly]

My hubs seems to have a SUPER low sex drive. Like, he's happy twice a month. (I am not. Drives me bonkers.)

The problem comes to baby making time. For the last year or so, I've only been able to get him to with me an average of *once* per fertile period. Which has left me with no pregnancy. (And a very large gap between kids, which makes me sad.)

Does anyone have any good ideas to help hubs be interested more at baby time at least? (No, dressing up and talking dirty do not seem to work.)

And if I *can't* get him interested more than once, does anyone know the statistically most likely date to get pregnant on? (CD 11/12/13/whatever?) I ovulate on CD14 almost every month. If I can't get him to pounce more than twice monthly, I'd at least like the best odds I can get.

Thanks! I appreciate any help/guidance/commiseration/whatever.

 

[Baby3bakin]

Has he gone to the drs about this? My DH sex drive died dramatically and when he went for blood tests he found out his testosterone was super low and causing the issues. He is now on medication for it and back to normal BUT the medication can affect fertility so it's a catch 22 (If that's the saying? Lol)
Otherwise DTD on day 12 or 13 so you don't miss your little eggie. Good luck!!

 

[Menelly]

It's a guy thing. I nag him about going to the doctor, he agrees he should probably go to the doctor, then he NEVER EVER GOES. Men. Can't live with them, can't catch the eggy without them.

 

[AmysU4ea]

My DH is the same way!!!! Very low sex drive... He is wiling to BD around ovulation though.... But he isn't interested in doing it more than 1 day in a row.... He's been a good sport though and we can BD around 5 times a month... I try and spread them out every three days or so around ovulation... Every two days if he isn't too tired.... Lol! We just BD last night and I asked him if we could again tonight since I just got my positive opk and he said sure if he's not too tired.... Then he called and said he's gotta work overtime... probably won't get to tonight.... Hopefully yesterday was enough!

But yeah, it makes baby making very difficult, huh?

 

[Menelly]

It does make it difficult. We've been theoretically "trying" for over a year, but can it count as trying when you only get to do it once per fertile period? /sigh

 

[AmysU4ea]

Yeah, it still counts... as long as you put that one time where it can make it happen! If I were you I'd do it on the day of the positive opk if you're using them... Day before O would ensure they get there in time for the egg and they will still be alive and healthy enough to fertilize it.

 

[CrystalJMM]

I have the same issue with my fiance'. Before we were TTC we'd have sex maybe 2 times a month? MAYBE.

Since we'd decided to start trying I was able to get maybe 2-3 times around my fertile days. And only 1-2 of those times would he be able to arrive at completion. (TMI)

It's super frustrating but I know he's trying....we haven't had him tested for low T or anything yet but I definitely think he's dealing with that.

We are giving it a few more months once we start trying again (hopefully this month) and then we'll start doing some further testing.

 

[Menelly]

Yeah, on the TMI front, mine has problems finishing too. :/ He tries hard to appease me, but... /sigh

It's really frustrating. I NEED to get him into a doctor.

 

[AmysU4ea]

I have the same issue with my fiance'. Before we were TTC we'd have sex maybe 2 times a month? MAYBE.

Since we'd decided to start trying I was able to get maybe 2-3 times around my fertile days. And only 1-2 of those times would he be able to arrive at completion. (TMI)

It's super frustrating but I know he's trying....we haven't had him tested for low T or anything yet but I definitely think he's dealing with that.

We are giving it a few more months once we start trying again (hopefully this month) and then we'll start doing some further testing.

What is that in your signature about TTC psychic readings?

 

[CrystalJMM]

I have the same issue with my fiance'. Before we were TTC we'd have sex maybe 2 times a month? MAYBE.

Since we'd decided to start trying I was able to get maybe 2-3 times around my fertile days. And only 1-2 of those times would he be able to arrive at completion. (TMI)

It's super frustrating but I know he's trying....we haven't had him tested for low T or anything yet but I definitely think he's dealing with that.

We are giving it a few more months once we start trying again (hopefully this month) and then we'll start doing some further testing.

What is that in your signature about TTC psychic readings?

Oh, I've had multiple psychic readings about the time frame/sex during my TTC journey. Those are the names of the psychics, the month they said I would conceive and the sex of the baby. As you can see most of them have come and gone unless magic happens this month.

 

[AmysU4ea]

Mine doesn't have a problem finishing... In fact he seems to finish very quickly... Maybe he's self conscious about that and that's why he doesn't want to do it? Hmmmm...

 

[AmysU4ea]

I have the same issue with my fiance'. Before we were TTC we'd have sex maybe 2 times a month? MAYBE.

Since we'd decided to start trying I was able to get maybe 2-3 times around my fertile days. And only 1-2 of those times would he be able to arrive at completion. (TMI)

It's super frustrating but I know he's trying....we haven't had him tested for low T or anything yet but I definitely think he's dealing with that.

We are giving it a few more months once we start trying again (hopefully this month) and then we'll start doing some further testing.

What is that in your signature about TTC psychic readings?

Oh, I've had multiple psychic readings about the time frame/sex during my TTC journey. Those are the names of the psychics, the month they said I would conceive and the sex of the baby. As you can see most of them have come and gone unless magic happens this month.

That's really cool! I've had a psychic reading that said I would have a boy soon... Then I've had two different theta healers say that I would have a boy in April... So, that would put me conceiving this month or early next month depending on if he comes early or late! Guess we'll see soon if the predictions were correct!

 

[CrystalJMM]

Mine doesn't have a problem finishing... In fact he seems to finish very quickly... Maybe he's self conscious about that and that's why he doesn't want to do it? Hmmmm...

Ugh. I'm jealous. If he does finish it's a good 40 minutes....and I get discouraged because I'm so worried he isn't going to finish.....it's really taken the fun out.

I have the same issue with my fiance'. Before we were TTC we'd have sex maybe 2 times a month? MAYBE.

Since we'd decided to start trying I was able to get maybe 2-3 times around my fertile days. And only 1-2 of those times would he be able to arrive at completion. (TMI)

It's super frustrating but I know he's trying....we haven't had him tested for low T or anything yet but I definitely think he's dealing with that.

We are giving it a few more months once we start trying again (hopefully this month) and then we'll start doing some further testing.

What is that in your signature about TTC psychic readings?

Oh, I've had multiple psychic readings about the time frame/sex during my TTC journey. Those are the names of the psychics, the month they said I would conceive and the sex of the baby. As you can see most of them have come and gone unless magic happens this month.

That's really cool! I've had a psychic reading that said I would have a boy soon... Then I've had two different theta healers say that I would have a boy in April... So, that would put me conceiving this month or early next month depending on if he comes early or late! Guess we'll see soon if the predictions were correct!

I hope they are!

 

[Menelly]

Mine doesn't have a problem finishing... In fact he seems to finish very quickly... Maybe he's self conscious about that and that's why he doesn't want to do it? Hmmmm...

Ugh. I'm jealous. If he does finish it's a good 40 minutes....and I get discouraged because I'm so worried he isn't going to finish.....it's really taken the fun out.

Me too. Mine can take 30-40 min before I'm chafing and saying "can we just be done?" It's really draining and very little fun at that point.

 

[CrystalJMM]

Mine doesn't have a problem finishing... In fact he seems to finish very quickly... Maybe he's self conscious about that and that's why he doesn't want to do it? Hmmmm...

Ugh. I'm jealous. If he does finish it's a good 40 minutes....and I get discouraged because I'm so worried he isn't going to finish.....it's really taken the fun out.

Me too. Mine can take 30-40 min before I'm chafing and saying "can we just be done?" It's really draining and very little fun at that point.

Exactly. And my fiance' then makes me feel guilty with the whole, "most women would love a man who can last this long" and to that I say, "not women who are trying to conceive and need to have sex a lot over the next several days." lol

And it's not that he CAN last that long...it's that he DOES. He has always been one to take awhile to get there but I always thought that was for my benefit. Now that I've made it clear I'd like it to be faster it hasn't changed so I guess that's just how he works.....

 

[Menelly]

Mine doesn't have a problem finishing... In fact he seems to finish very quickly... Maybe he's self conscious about that and that's why he doesn't want to do it? Hmmmm...

Ugh. I'm jealous. If he does finish it's a good 40 minutes....and I get discouraged because I'm so worried he isn't going to finish.....it's really taken the fun out.

Me too. Mine can take 30-40 min before I'm chafing and saying "can we just be done?" It's really draining and very little fun at that point.

Exactly. And my fiance' then makes me feel guilty with the whole, "most women would love a man who can last this long" and to that I say, "not women who are trying to conceive and need to have sex a lot over the next several days." lol

And it's not that he CAN last that long...it's that he DOES. He has always been one to take awhile to get there but I always thought that was for my benefit. Now that I've made it clear I'd like it to be faster it hasn't changed so I guess that's just how he works.....

I think that's horsehocky. I've never met a woman that wants 40 min. Maybe a good 10-15, but after that OW. Just FINISH. 40 min should include foreplay, not be pounding! LOL

And sometimes? Sometimes you just want a quicky.

 

[AmysU4ea]

Yeah, I keep stressing to my DH that I'm totally fine with a quickie! I don't really even need foreplay! I just want those spermies!!!! Lol! I feel bad cuz that's what it's about for me now...

 

[AmysU4ea]

I think I'd be in it for the fun more if he wanted to do it more...

 

[Menelly]

Yeah, I keep stressing to my DH that I'm totally fine with a quickie! I don't really even need foreplay! I just want those spermies!!!! Lol! I feel bad cuz that's what it's about for me now...

From about day 9-15 I'm with ya. I'm all about the spermies.

We can have fun from day 15 on.

 

[littlegirl87]

My DH got his testosterone level checked due to low sex drive as well and it came back normal, but he hurt his lower back at work a few years ago and it bothers him on a regular basis...so he finally told the doctor that we were TTC and when i say finally i mean FINALLY after over a year and that he wasn't really into having sex and the Dr. told us that constant low back pain like that can totally kill a sex drive...so maybe there is something else at play?

Also certain medications can lower a sex drive too....just a few ideas!