Does anyone have experience being the youngest or oldest in the class?

[Monix]

It is almost time to register my son for school and I need to make a decision soon.

He is born just before the cut off date so he will always be the youngest. I don’t know how I feel about that, especially in high school and even university.

I have the option to start him a year later, then he would always be the oldest in the class. I can’t decide which one is better or worse.

I feel like if he’s the youngest he will be vulnerable, immature, more naïve, small. If he’s the oldest will he feel bored and out of place?

I would love to hear from anyone who has been in this position and come out the other side. Yourself or your children or anyone. How did you feel about being the youngest or the oldest and would you change it?

Thanks so much for your help!

 

[missielibra]

My son is born just before the cut off (september 20th and the cut off is september 30th). We plan on sending him and having him being the youngest. My nephew is also september 1st and my sister sent him in school as one of the youngest. I think what helped her decision is my niece (her first born), is slightly after the cut off, and honestly, she is really bored at school, and the whole year she "lost" she kept asking for "school books" to learn things and she was just really bored at daycare and what not.

I think the personality of the child has a lot to do with it ? Some kids benefits from being behind and others ahead.

Good luck!

 

[chellesama]

No personal experience, but recent research out of Stanford and Harvard suggests that while every child is "ready" at different times, waiting might be better. In Denmark, formal schooling does not start before six, though it is strongly encouraged to have children mingle socially from a very young age. In Finland, it doesn't start until children are 7!

Hope that helps you some!

 

[ClairAye]

I deferred my daughter a year (December birthday) so she just started school this week, when asking people no one I spoke to said they regretted deferring and my mum is the one who didn't defer [me] and she did regret it. I know my daughter grew from a shy girl with no child friends in her second last year or nursery to a little girl with a few friends who talks to all the other children and adjusted to school super fast even just in the first week.

 

[mrsmummy2]

After having a July baby who is one of the youngest in his class (cut off is Sept 4th i think?) I am SUPER excited to have a baby due at the end of September and praying he doesnt come before the cut off date.
My daughter is February, so middle of the year and seemed to fit in with school just fine and was totally ready to go... my son still seemed like a little baby when he went... it was (and still is) quite apparent that he is one of the youngest.
I do however think it depends on the child as an individual.. but I would always wait and have the oldest child over the youngest.

 

[Scout]

I was the oldest and my cousin, who was born 12 days before me was the youngest. The cut off was was 2 days after her birthday and 10 before mine. So she started a year before I did. We both did well. I can't recall feeling any way about it really. I got to drive before most of my friends.

I'm in the US and work in an elementary school. Most teachers would say it's child dependent, but better to wait then go early, especially boys. Developmentally, girls mature a bit faster than boys (not saying this will be the case every single time, just as an average) School these days is tough and we're asking kids to do things that they shouldn't be doing (here in the US at least. Daughter is 6 and in 1st grade and gets a 20 minute recess out of an 6 1/2 hour school day....ridiculous!)

I'd wait if I had the option.

 

[BabyGirl999]

Always better to wait if you have the option. My first boy is the youngest and has struggled from day 1, he was too young to start and I wish I’d held him back. Child number 2 (a girl) is the oldest in her class and is in top group for everything and loves school and, more importantly, was more than ready to start. Yes it is definitely a lot to do with individual child, but if you have any doubts at all, hold him back. One more year at home can make the world of difference!

 

[Babybump87]

DD1 is a Feb baby and was fine to go! DD2 was born first week in December so she will be one of the oldest when she starts next year . She’s got another year of nursery coming up . To be honest she’s very bright now and would have fitted in fine with those starting reception in September ! I don’t worry about her starting but moreso the change for her(and me) as she’s very attached to me , she won’t cope well going back next week !

I think sometimes we just have to trust in them but also be very aware of what’s going to be too much for them. I would tend to agree with the other ladies I would prefer it if my child was one of the oldest rather than youngest . I may have this problem with DS as he is a June baby ! He will only do a year of school nursery whereas the girls did 18 months . But that’s something I will think about nearer the time !

Good luck I am sure all will be fine ! x

 

[DJJ]

My son is a late August baby. He's just turned 7. When he started I was more eorrwor about the social side of school than anything else. But it's wasn't an issue and he got on fine. The only time you could tell he was nearly a year younger than some of his class mates was at sports day. When he goes back next week he will be starting year 3 (UK). He was ready for school when he went even though he had only been 4 a week.

 

[hypnorm]

my son is 22nd of august, one of the youngest. I would have differed him a year but got told he would miss reception and just end up in yr 1.
He has struggled through out school life and really would have benefitted from a later start.

 

[Rags]

My niece was the youngest and was really keen to start school as soon as they would let her in - she loved going to drop her big sister off and talking to the teachers in the play ground. She loved it when she started, anf for the first 5 years! Academically she was always in the top group and excelled, unfortunately, by the time she was turning 8 and most of the other girls were turning 9, socially she began to find it all very difficult. Her last couple of years in primary were unpleasant for her and by the time she was in 2nd year at high school she was saying she wished she was in the year group below (academically she was still top but socially she found it all very frustrating). My niece eventually left school as soon as she was allowed - 16 in Scotlamd - and even now, going into her second year at college, she is still the youngest in her class and frustrated that she's to young to join her friends and class mates on nights out and at birthday celebrations and will be until the end of February.
My Ds is the oldest in his class, his birthday is 2 weeks after our cut off, he has an enense confidence in himself and were, and when, he wants to fit in with his class mates. He's just started p5 and I see a huge difference between where he is compared to my niece at the same year group.

Good luck with your decision, whatever you decide I'm sure you will make work very well for your son.

 

[smileyfaces]

My son is an august baby but he has always been fine. I wouldnt worry.

 

[morri]

my kid is a november birthday and cutoff date is 30 june here, so she got to school about 6 3/4 I think she is quite happy how it is. because of her advance knowledge she doesnt have it hard yet and it is a gentle introduction rather than a plunging one

 

[Rags]

my kid is a november birthday and cutoff date is 30 june here, so she got to school about 6 3/4 I think she is quite happy how it is. because of her advance knowledge she doesnt have it hard yet and it is a gentle introduction rather than a plunging one

Gosh, you're very much not in the UK!! Our children start between the age on 4 & 5 - In England this can be as young as a few days after they turn four and they can be in a class with others who have recently turned 5, in Scotland they start between 4 1/2 and 5 1/2 as our enrolment cut off is the end of February for the August term. I'd have loved to have Ds not need to begin until 6 or 7, I think that'd be amazing.

 

[_Meep_]

My daughter was born July 2014 and has just started reception aged 5.

So far, it seems to have been a good decision. She is mature enough to handle it all, but still such a little girl that she is in no way out of place around the others. Some of them have recently turned 5 themselves anyway.

Don't regret it at all! But still early days, I know ...