Does anyone not love bf?

[hayz_baby]

I'm still bf.. Doing quite well but I don't love bf as i see any mums talk about. I feel very matter of fact about it. I'm feeding him. I give him lots of cuddles and talk as ways to bond so it's not like I'm not bonding.. I just don't think bf is enhancing our bond. Sometimes feeding is difficult due to his wind. Am I weird or unusual to feel this?

 

[tublet]

I felt like this as well, and mum said she never really got itShe just bf as she knew it was better for baby and free but didn't find it really enjoyable?

I've stopped bf and don't feel any different from what I did before, much prefer cuddles, playing and talking to baby.

 

[Pearls18]

Nope not alone, I hate it most of the time! We're having more difficulties this time around so that isn't helping but even though it went really well with DS1 I still didn't like it! I'm counting down the days until 6 months, I will probably continue to BF but it will be my own choice as to whether I do or not, right now I'm doing it because I have to (as far as I'm concerned). I wouldnt overly enjoy bottle feeding either tbh because I know that is a phaff, and if I'm really honest weaning is a pain too haha but at least then it's not all on me, I just can't wait till he feeds himself haha. I need to stop rushing time but I'm really not good at this bit. But yeah you're not alone, I prefer cuddling DS for bonding, not feeding.

 

[Peppermint25]

I enjoy bf to a certain extent, I love the snuggles and watching my LO content and happy. I don't love how much it ties us down and how restricting it it (LO will only feed at home). I often think bottle would have been easier for us and would have provided more freedom for dad to feed and for doing longer day trips away without always having to rush home for her feed. It becomes quite stressful at times and makes me really not enjoy it. I'm really looking forward to her being able to use a sippy cup properly and be eating solid food so it relieves some of the pressure from me. So yeah, mixed feelings from me about bf. I will miss some aspects of it but definitely not others x

 

[MrsPear]

I found it easier than FF in the end because of not needing to take bottles out, especially as I get public transport and it's a bit of a faff to carry too much. BUT in terms of bond, no, I truly don't think it helped. I felt quite resentful at times in the beginning when I couldn't pass her over. I was just like you say- feeding my child. Nothing more, nothing less. She didn't gain weight well between birth-10 months, and I was constantly anxious that it was my milk. In the hospital when she was born, I did very much want to bf, and when we managed it I felt such a wave of love for her. That's the only time I ever felt that because of bf. The rest of the time I was just doing it, same as I cook solid foods for her now. Just because you have to feed your kid!

 

[JenX]

You're still pretty early on- not quite four weeks if I read your ticker right? I would say maybe you'll never love it, but it is still too soon to tell. I don't know anyone who loved it that fast. It gets better, much better. Most of my breastfeeding friends thought that 12 weeks was the magic number, but I think it was longer than that for me.

 

[susannah14]

There are times I was indifferent and times that I loved it. You don't have to love it every single time. I did find that I loved it more and more as time went on, specifically things got easier and better at the 6 week mark.

Yes in the beginning it was more of a task rather than a joy, mostly because all I did was feed and sleep, and I had no life besides that. Once I got my life back, bfing was an easy addition to my day where I could sit down and relax for a cuddle.

 

[mummytobe_93]

The only time I love it is when my baby is in hysterics crying and I put her to the breast and she stops crying instantly. I'm quite like you though I do it because it's better for her and also easier than sterilising and making bottles, I do enjoy the snuggles but I don't enjoy constant cluster feeding and the fact my OH can't help as she refuses a bottle!

 

[Kay_Baby]

I feel the same way. I don't find it this amazing bonding experience that a lot of people seem to. I do it because it's meant to be better for them and free. I much prefer just cuddles.

 

[Mrs Doddy]

I didn't do it for long if I hadn't had the pain and it was successful yes I would have - I feel like you do but am ff

 

[NoodleSnack]

There are times I love it and times I hate it. I think women don't talk as much about the times they don't like it, beyond the initial difficulties. You're not strange if you don't gush about it later on.

 

[marymoomin]

I loved, loved, loved bf my eldest. My twins not so much. They fed 13 hrs out of every day for six months. The over ridding thing I felt was claustrophobia. The last few weeks I despised the feeling of them sucking.
I know plenty of people who don't enjoy bf.

 

[special_kala]

Did you breastfeed your first? The first fee months are tough but as they get older its much more relaxing and easier.

I love breastfeeding and am very passionate about women getting the right advice/support but I do think they put far too much emphasis on the bond aspect of it. Yes it can be fantastic laying there feeding your baby and its also amazing to look at your baby growing on just your milk but it is really bloody tough, there is nowhere near enough emphasis on how hard it can be far more women would succeed and enjoy doing it.

 

[kung_pao mama]

I have a love/hate relationship with breastfeeding. It was really frustrating for me at the beginning, so once we got the hang of it after the first month, I was really excited. Now, at 4 months, I don't get that happy, oxytocin fueled rush like before. lol. I'm just feeding my kid. I don't think it needs to be "enjoyed" any more than giving a bottle would be...

That being said, I can tell it is a big source of comfort for my son. So sometimes, especially the days when I am away from him at work for hours at a time, it's sort of a nice way for us to reconnect after being apart for so long.

 

[Pearls18]

I loved, loved, loved bf my eldest. My twins not so much. They fed 13 hrs out of every day for six months. The over ridding thing I felt was claustrophobia. The last few weeks I despised the feeling of them sucking.
I know plenty of people who don't enjoy bf.

I am in awe of you BF twins!

 

[aliss]

16 months in and i've never enjoyed it. It has been easier than formula though, so I stick with it. I guess I just don't care for feeding babies in general, lol

 

[hayz_baby]

Did you breastfeed your first? The first fee months are tough but as they get older its much more relaxing and easier.

I love breastfeeding and am very passionate about women getting the right advice/support but I do think they put far too much emphasis on the bond aspect of it. Yes it can be fantastic laying there feeding your baby and its also amazing to look at your baby growing on just your milk but it is really bloody tough, there is nowhere near enough emphasis on how hard it can be far more women would succeed and enjoy doing it.

Yeah I did.. And what u said was defo true for me. I was very niave with it, i never really how emotionally draining and hard it would b. I wish someone told me and I was more prepared. It lead to pnd with me too. I only fed for 8 weeks. I know a lot more now, I know it can b hard and how to persevere with and how newborns feed in regards to cluster feeding and wonder weeks! Thanks to this site mainly.
It could b why I feel the way I do.. Mentally I'm also working really hard not to fall into the same thought patterns.. It's hard but I'm doing ok
I went to this parental class when I was with pregnant with ds2 and when they briefly talked about bf I said it was hard work (never disputing it's the best) I was quickly shot down by the bf lady there, like u shouldn't say it's hardwork incase it puts people off.. But why not be realistic? There are times when it's tough!

Thanks ladies for not making me feel like a weird mum for not enjoying bf. as this ultimate bonding experience. I plan to carry on bf btw x

 

[liz1985]

No I dont enjoy it. With ds it was painfull and I thought that's why I didnt enjoy it, i gave up quickly. dd has a perfect latch, its not even uncomfortable never mind painfull, but I still dont enjoy it. Not sure how long ill keep going for, want to go as long as possible because I know its better, but I dont feel any different bond to my first who was ff.

 

[hayz_baby]

You're still pretty early on- not quite four weeks if I read your ticker right? I would say maybe you'll never love it, but it is still too soon to tell. I don't know anyone who loved it that fast. It gets better, much better. Most of my breastfeeding friends thought that 12 weeks was the magic number, but I think it was longer than that for me.

Yes my ticker is right, maybe it is too early.. Only one way to find out! X

 

[marymoomin]

I loved, loved, loved bf my eldest. My twins not so much. They fed 13 hrs out of every day for six months. The over ridding thing I felt was claustrophobia. The last few weeks I despised the feeling of them sucking.
I know plenty of people who don't enjoy bf.

I am in awe of you BF twins!

That's kind. I wanted to try and feed all my children equally. It didn't happen as they were premature and got some formula supplement at the start. I would be better organised if I had to do it again.