does baby sleep improve on its own? share your experiences

[gingmg]

Bumping this up again to see if anyone else has anything to share. The success stories out there without sleep training really give me the hope and inspiration to keep on trucking the way we have been. I guess if I look at the big picture, sleep has improved for us since we have been trying to put him down drowsy but awake, but we still have a long way to go before we are truly sleeping through the night. He can sometimes put himself back to sleep but not all the time. I feel so hopeful when I read through this thread. Thanks for your stories!

 

[catty]

my son will be 2 soon and he now sleeps 7pm-7am and has done for the past 11ish months. we have the odd night here and there where he wakens still but usually for a purpose like pain or wet through.

Basically in the early days he was a terrible sleeper and a milk guzzler, he wanted a full bottle of milk like every 3 hours even at 9 months. I decided to cute the milk back which resulted in even more wakenings but I kept trying as I new he didnt need 24oz overnight. when he realised there wasnt going to be much milk he would still waken but for shorter periods.
Then the hard part was to get him sleeping at a reasonable hour at night. we moved his cot back into our room around 9/10 months I believe, id put him in his cot and read to him, put on soothing music and then lie there until he eventually fell asleep. the aim for us was that once he was in his cot he was there for the night. (unless pain etc, mappy change etc) there was some nights of crying but id sit amd stroke his hand and eventually he just got it. he seemed to realise he haf to sleep amd that was it. Think around 10/11 months it worked and now hes a great sleeper. I dont even remember how bad the esrly days were iv blanked those night out my memory but I have it all written down. some night he would get up 10-20 times!!

 

[x__amour]

I truly think it just depends on the child.

DD was a phenomenal sleeper. 6 weeks and she was STTN and has never stopped. DS was... Not bad but not amazing. Maybe 1-2x a night up to 10 months. When we dropped the bottle at 12 months he's been STTN but sometimes he wakes up and cries a little but it's mostly teething related. It did get better for us though.

 

[hiladun]

Haven't read any responses but yes, sleep will improve for 100% of babies - unfortunately the timescales involved may be weeks or years! We are in the 'years' camp unfortunately but the sleep we get now is a godsend compared to the worst times.

 

[Scout]

I never did any sleep training. I rocked dd every nap until she was 14 or 15 months old, and then one day just put her down in her bed and she slept. It was amazing to say the least! LOL We coslept until she was 17 months old, and I got her a big girl bed (full size regular bed), and she went to sleep on her own in her own room. I did have to put a gate on her door as she'd get back up and play and come out of her room. I've since got rid of the gate. She's 2 and a month. We have some off nights where she'll get up and get in my bed, but I don't mind. I'm single and love the snuggles . But we do both sleep better when we sleep in our own beds. I think it all depends on the child and when they are ready they will sleep without much effort on the parents. (just my opinion based on my own experience) gl

 

[gingmg]

This is an old thread I started and I wanted to come back to update- my son started (mostly) STTN on his own around 18 months. It's so so so so so hard while you are in it but now I am sooooooo happy we chose to let his sleep develop naturally instead of forcing it. To those still waiting, it WILL happen!! If you are like me and the idea of sleep training sounded beyond barbaric, you don't have to do anything you are not comfortable with. They all get there eventually! Oh and going down drowsy didn't last long so we went back to rocking and nursing to sleep. Actually we hadn't even hit the worst of our sleep at the time I originally wrote this thread, that happened when he started waking hourly between 8-10 months. At 11 months, although he wasn't sleeping through, he was sleeping longer and I finally felt human again. At 14 months I stopped rocking him and at 20 months I stopped nursing him to sleep. I find it funny that he started STTN a few months before he started going down awake because everyone tries to tell you going down awake is the secret to get your kids to sleep through the night. And now that I know how quickly (in retrospect) it all changes, I think it will be easier and less stressful to 'wait it out' with the next one. Hang in there, it does get better. Xx

 

[Eleanor ace]

DS- up hourly until 9 months when he started to improve out of the blue, and then just before he turned 1 he got loads better, waking only once or twice a night. Nothing we did. From 21 months he started sleeping through on and off.

DD1- BAD sleeper. Hard to get to sleep, up every 4 minutes, hard to settle back down again, often up for ages at night. Ugh. Nothing we did worked much. Then, the day DD2 was born DD1 decided to do a total 180 with her sleep and started pretty much sleeping through! 15 months later and she's still sleeping great!

DD2- OK sleeper, better than the other two as a baby and then like DS she started doing really good stretches and only waking 1-2 times a night most of the time

 

[noon_child]

It's very normal to wake at night, even as an adult. Sometimes we don't notice it and go straight back to sleep (which is what we want out children to do!) but other times we wake and realise we are too hot/cold or need a drink. Or sometimes we've had a busy week with lots of new things happening and we wake with a start with our thoughts whirring. Other times we might have a bad dream. We can sort these things ourselves as adults usually, or sometimes we have a partner to cuddle.
But babies:
1) can not always find their own solutions, they need us to get a drink, get warmer, comfort them and calm them
2) are much more likely to have active brains at night because their brains are literally growing new pathways learning new things constantly, which means that while they might be drowsy at bed time they won't necessarily feel drowsy when they wake at night.

There's also the physical consequences of brain development, like moving in their sleep. How would you feel if you woke at night to find you were standing upright at the edge of your bed? It wouldn't feel safe and cosy I bet, it would be confusing.

At 7months my daughter was nowhere near going to bed drowsy but awake so I think The OP can have hope that they have managed this step at least.

 

[xdxxtx]

Two of my babies naturally settled into a good sleep pattern. Two of them did not. I did all of the rocking/nursing/cosleeping/etc to sleep with all four of my kids, too. It took until my third-born was 2 for her to finally sleep through the night. I sleep trained my fourth-born at 8 months old.

 

[xxxLeoxxx]

My 7 month old is a crappy sleeper, always has been. Its probably all my fault because I did everything you are not supposed to do. I rocked, nursed, bounced, and coslept (not that I regret it because I loved every minute but here we are now as a result). We've been working on putting him down drowsy but awake and after a month or so we are finally there. However, the night wakings have not decreased at all. We have some good nights but most often he still wakes up a lot. Most nights he ends up in our bed at some point. Crying it out is not an option for us.

So, for those on the other side of a frequent waker, did it just go away on its own? Or did you do things to make it change? I thought that they would outgrow waking at some point but then I see other people say that its a habit that doesn't go away on it own. I also thought that being able to put them down awake was the key to the rest of the night improving. Is it just slow to follow or am I fooling myself thinking this is going to get better on its own?

Please share your experiences.

Three babies later, I really feel that you don't make a bad or good sleeping baby. You get what you're given and you deal with it however you have to.

If your baby had been happy to fall asleep without rocking and had been happy to sleep in their own bed then you would've probably thought you'd made a good sleeper!

Please don't think you've caused whatever issues you have now, IMO you have just dealt with the hand you were given. I've had three completely different sleepers and all have been cared for in exactly the same way.

No advice in terms of sleep solutions, other than I'd just do whatever you can that means everyone gets sleep (for me that was cosleeping with my first two) and rest assured they'll sleep well one day and you'll miss the days they'd want to come in your bed for cuddles! Xx

 

[Zephram]

DS1 was a terrible sleeper as a baby and young toddler. Up multiple times a night no matter what. He improved significantly around 18 months going to waking around twice a night. Then at 2 he went to 1-2 wakes a night, then at 3 he was down to 1 or zero wakes at night. Now at age four he goes to sleep by himself and sleeps through the night. We did not sleep train, so even if you do nothing your child will eventually not need you at night.

DS2 was a good sleeper as a newborn but has been terrible as an older baby and young toddler. He's up probably 4-5 times a night on an average night. He's suffering from quite bad separation anxiety at the moment, so I would say he's waking to reassure himself I'm still around. He also still breastfeeds at night. He's 17 months now so I'm hoping he's going to improve around 18 months like his brother did.

 

[krissie328]

My ds was a horrible sleeper. I couldn't stand cio and none of the other methods worked. About 2 years old his sleeping started to improve to waking only once per night. Now for the last 3 months or so he's slept through nearly every night. I think what helped is my dh wouldn't open his door before going to work so I stopped hearing him whine around midnight so he didn't get a bottle. I think over time it just stopped. I had been suspecting he wasn't really awake and it was just a break in his natural sleep pattern.

It will get better. Maybe sooner or later but they eventually figure it out.

 

[gingmg]

This was an old thread that I came back to update once my son started STTN because I know how stressful it is to have an awful sleeper and while we were going through it, the other moms on this site were such a source of support. I wanted to offer the same hope and encouragement to those still in the trenches of sleep deprivation. It does get better! My hope was that people still in the thick of it could read sucess stories of STTN without sleep training and feel more confident in the choices that they were making for their LO. I know I always loved reading those and it gave me the strength to keep on while in my real life it felt there was so much pressure to sleep train or that I was doing something wrong for not doing it. So, if you are reading, can't bear the idea of sleep training and are in the thick of an hourly waker, hang in there, I bumped this thread up for you!!! It WILL get better!!

 

[jessmke]

I've made countless threads on here about my daughter's sleep in the last year. By all accounts we did everything "right". Starting around 3 months old she always went down in her crib awake for naps and bedtime, settled herself to sleep, I didn't nurse to sleep, she didn't have a pacifier, we've had a solid bedtime routine since she was 6 weeks old. But she was still an awful sleeper, up 6-8 times a night until she was a year old. Then two nights before her first birthday she slept straight from 7pm-10 am! She did this for about a week (1 year growth spurt I believe) and then started sleeping 7-7. She is now starting to wake around 5/6 am to nurse and then will go back to sleep, but she is still sleeping 10-11 hrs straight so I call that a win. We did try some gentle sleep training but nothing very hardcore and all that happened was we were all up even more at night and ended up even more sleep deprived and miserable. For us all that seemed to help was time. I remember feeling so at the end of my rope, especially during the 8-10 month sleep regression which was just awful, but that is a distant memory now.

 

[NoodleSnack]

My 7 month old is a crappy sleeper, always has been. Its probably all my fault because I did everything you are not supposed to do. I rocked, nursed, bounced, and coslept (not that I regret it because I loved every minute but here we are now as a result). We've been working on putting him down drowsy but awake and after a month or so we are finally there. However, the night wakings have not decreased at all. We have some good nights but most often he still wakes up a lot. Most nights he ends up in our bed at some point. Crying it out is not an option for us.

So, for those on the other side of a frequent waker, did it just go away on its own? Or did you do things to make it change? I thought that they would outgrow waking at some point but then I see other people say that its a habit that doesn't go away on it own. I also thought that being able to put them down awake was the key to the rest of the night improving. Is it just slow to follow or am I fooling myself thinking this is going to get better on its own?

Please share your experiences.

Yes. It's just a matter of time. My son is 4 and the one perspective I wish I could share with new mothers is that so many things just take care of itself with time: sleeping, eating, milestones, behaviour, toilet training etc. It's still shitty when you're in the middle of it but you don't have to feel so overwhelmed guessing if what you did was right or wrong and that's why they're like that.

 

[Pippylu]

We are still pretty new to it all with our twins being 4 months old (9.5 weeks corrected as they were 7 weeks premmie). One day when they were 7 weeks (actual) and still napping most of the time between feeds, they both slept through their 830pm feed (so slept from about 530/6pm – 1130pm). Once they had done it 3 days in a row I started moving them into the bedroom after their 530pm feed, they continued to do it and even started going an extra hour or so. I know all the expert information out there says not to start a routine until they are 3m +, but I decided to start one anyway, I figured it would be less of a battle later if I started one early and it seemed to me that they were starting a routine themselves by sleeping long stretches at the same time every day. So, we have been doing a nappy change, pj’s, bottle and bed routine now for almost 10 weeks. We only do a bath every 2nd or 3rd day and not as part of the bedtime routine. OH works night shift and leaves home at 430pm, so we do baths before he goes to work or when he gets home in the morning. They are asleep by 6pm every day, unless we’re out and then it’s not much later. They sleep through until anywhere between 1230-3am, if it’s 1230am they will wake a 2nd time for another bottle a few hours later. The closer to 3am they sleep, the more likely they will not wake again until 630am. I thought about sleep training for ages and did buy a program to see if I could improve on what we were already doing. Most of the information in it I found was already available for free on many parenting websites and forums. I also found the routines for naps and bedtime not practical and pretty inflexible, for us anyway. I did try to push their bedtime back, even to 630pm, but they won’t have it. They just get incredibly grumpy and then fall asleep in their swings. I figured they know what they need and once they need less sleep we can work on the bedtime.

I honestly don’t know if there is any secret to having a good sleeper. I know ours took to a bedtime routine straight away, and to be fair I followed their lead.

 

[Zephram]

My 7 month old is a crappy sleeper, always has been. Its probably all my fault because I did everything you are not supposed to do. I rocked, nursed, bounced, and coslept (not that I regret it because I loved every minute but here we are now as a result). We've been working on putting him down drowsy but awake and after a month or so we are finally there. However, the night wakings have not decreased at all. We have some good nights but most often he still wakes up a lot. Most nights he ends up in our bed at some point. Crying it out is not an option for us.

So, for those on the other side of a frequent waker, did it just go away on its own? Or did you do things to make it change? I thought that they would outgrow waking at some point but then I see other people say that its a habit that doesn't go away on it own. I also thought that being able to put them down awake was the key to the rest of the night improving. Is it just slow to follow or am I fooling myself thinking this is going to get better on its own?

Please share your experiences.

Yes. It's just a matter of time. My son is 4 and the one perspective I wish I could share with new mothers is that so many things just take care of itself with time: sleeping, eating, milestones, behaviour, toilet training etc. It's still shitty when you're in the middle of it but you don't have to feel so overwhelmed guessing if what you did was right or wrong and that's why they're like that.

Totally agree with this. When you're in the thick of it it feels like your world is ending, but as your kids grow you realise how quickly the time goes. It should hopefully be a reassurance to all the mamas struggling with bad sleep, feeding issues, toilet issues, etc, that everything works itself out in the end, no matter what you do. Kids grow and change and before you know it your screaming newborn is a cheeky four year old instead. Every time I feel despair for my 17 month old's bad sleep, I just look at my four year old and try to remind myself it'll all be okay! The days are long, but the years are short... feels just like yesterday my eldest was that terrible sleeping baby but somehow he is already my big four year old!

 

[Twag]

I did all the same things as you for both of my children my DS he started sleeping through the night and self soothing at 6 months
My DD I am still waiting for the day she sleeps through or self soothes - she will get there but in her own time and in the meantime I will be there to cuddle her to sleep or stroke her hair or cosleep (so I can get some sleep as I work) as she is only little once and it will pass and then I will miss it (to a degree lol)

Hang in there

 

[Larkspur]

This was an old thread that I came back to update once my son started STTN because I know how stressful it is to have an awful sleeper and while we were going through it, the other moms on this site were such a source of support. I wanted to offer the same hope and encouragement to those still in the trenches of sleep deprivation. It does get better! My hope was that people still in the thick of it could read sucess stories of STTN without sleep training and feel more confident in the choices that they were making for their LO. I know I always loved reading those and it gave me the strength to keep on while in my real life it felt there was so much pressure to sleep train or that I was doing something wrong for not doing it. So, if you are reading, can't bear the idea of sleep training and are in the thick of an hourly waker, hang in there, I bumped this thread up for you!!! It WILL get better!!

I've just checked this site for the first time in months and this thread came up as I posted on it in support.

My daughter turned out to be a worse sleeper than my son, but she also came right in her own time. She finally started STTN around 21 months and has been really good ever since.

My kids are both absolutely brilliant sleepers now... they go to bed easily and in the rare instance that they wake up, they put themselves back to sleep (or are really easy to get back to sleep if they actually do need something).

I know so many people who sleep-trained who moan that their 2-5 y/o kids are always getting up and coming into bed with them in the night, or fighting bedtime, or waking at 5am. Obviously my sample size is pretty small, but I do wonder if avoid sleep-training makes kids more confident or settled sleepers later on.