Does Being Paranoid Make Me A Bad Person?

[LulaBug]

Ever since I was little, I've never been inundated with friends. I was always on the sidelines because I guess I just never really fitted in with the others and although I had a couple of friends, I just seemed to be on my own for most of the time.
I was often seen as weird and a bit kooky and it seemed weird and kooky were not in, as far as friends go kind of thing.

I seem to find it unbearingly difficult to make friends...well...no, making friends I'm good at, it's keeping the friendships going I suck at.

Due to my past history with people being nice to my face and finding out they've done nothing but bitch about me behind my back, I get extremely paranoid that people are doing it again now.

I'm quite opinionated. Things I post on facebook are quite controversial, without me meaning them to be. I just don't really think things through before posting them and sometimes end up landing myself in hot water.

I just wish I wasn't so paranoid because it'd then make me feel that I could relax and enjoy my friendships rather than questioning everything.

If someone can't talk, due to being busy or whatever, again, due to past history of being brushed off because they can't bring themselves to tell me they don't want to talk, I feel all scared and panicked that I've said or done something and they genuinely don't want to talk to me.

What is up with me? I wish to be normal more than anything. I wish to make friends and maintain my friendships without reading so much into things.

I feel like crying, I'm such a freak and no wonder I'm all alone. I live in a new place. I go to the baby group and I feel like they look at me funny. See? Paranoid!! UGHHHH!!!!

Anyone else feel like this? What do I do? I feel like I'm an awful person and will end up like an old woman with a whole heap of cats for company.

 

[Vinushka]

meh, sounds like me. I gave up trying to fit in a long time ago though, and just allow people to think what they want. Why would you want to get along with shallow two faced people?

If you even have one or two real friends then that's better than 100 people on facebook you don't really know... I guess. I'm terribly antisocial anyways.

Instead of being paranoid that people look at you funny, hold your head up, smile, and just greet them all as if they were waiting for you all day.

I suffer from depression, and it's hard giving this advice as really I only follow it on the odd good day I have. But it gets you through social situations far better than sulking in a corner. They really do look funny at you then.

 

[PreggyEggy]

I could have written this myself...I have no friends really, at the moment. I'm out of touch with all the friends I had in school, and they all seemed to move on. I had a pretty bad falling out with an ex-bestfriend who we were all friends with, and since then nobody really seems to talk to me, despite me trying. It's made me paranoid that they all talk about me.

So I thought f*ck it, I'll make new friends, but I can't seem to do it. I'm always worried about peoples opinions of me now. I get paranoid that really they think I'm stupid or something. Like you, it's keeping up the friendship once I've made a start that's hard. Even online I can't seem to make friends, and I really miss having good friends.

I don't really have a solution for it, I've never even really admitted it to anyone before. I just wanted to say you're not alone, and it doesn't make you a bad person.

 

[Lost_Plot]

Paranoia isn't a totally unhealthy trait but it can get out of hand. I used to be my own worst enemy when it came to making up scenarios in my head of what people really think of me. I just give myself a good talking to now. Even if I'm right does it really make any difference? It won't change what they think of me.

I don't have many friends I have no idea how to make any either. I'm too scared to go to baby groups that's why I come on here. I don't expect to make friends on here but it's nice to see other people having similar baby related problems and their solutions/advice.

I think it's hard to make friends because everyone's paranoid these days. If you're friendly towards someone they eye you with suspicion as if to say "What are you after?" (Or maybe they don't it could be my paranoia at play). Plus you have the added stupid politics that go with it. Few of the friends I do have or have had in the past get on with each other. It's a nightmare so I've given up.

 

[charlotte-xo]

it doesnt make you a bad person at all hun..and your taking a step in the right direction by going to the baby group. the people who bitched behind your back are not even worth thinking about, im sure the people at the baby group are not doing the same. have you tried talking to them?? i know how horrible it can be to think everyones talking about you but you know what youll never be able to stop them kind of people there just sad to be honest and theyve got nothing better to do with their lives but slate other people to make themselves feel better. hold your head high hun i bet your a lovely person and not at all weird. next time you go to baby group set yourself some goals even if its just saying hello, sitting next to one of the mums and make conversation about anything even if its just the weather in time youll find common interests.

i hope you feel better soon hun

 

[LulaBug]

I set myself a new years resolution, to make friends and get myself a social life so that this New Years Eve, what I do is so different to what I did NYE just gone.
I basically sat on my own while babys dad was sat upstairs in bed. I sat on my own, drinking some wine and eating cheese and biscuits and I remember at midnight, feeling incredibly lonely.
So I decided I'd make an extra effort to make some friends but like I said, it's not making friends that's the problem, it's keeping friends.

I want to combat the problem, but don't know how to really. *sigh* It's good to know I'm not alone though.

 

[Dragonfly]

Ever since I was little, I've never been inundated with friends. I was always on the sidelines because I guess I just never really fitted in with the others and although I had a couple of friends, I just seemed to be on my own for most of the time.
I was often seen as weird and a bit kooky and it seemed weird and kooky were not in, as far as friends go kind of thing.

I seem to find it unbearingly difficult to make friends...well...no, making friends I'm good at, it's keeping the friendships going I suck at.

Due to my past history with people being nice to my face and finding out they've done nothing but bitch about me behind my back, I get extremely paranoid that people are doing it again now.

I'm quite opinionated. Things I post on facebook are quite controversial, without me meaning them to be. I just don't really think things through before posting them and sometimes end up landing myself in hot water.

I just wish I wasn't so paranoid because it'd then make me feel that I could relax and enjoy my friendships rather than questioning everything.

If someone can't talk, due to being busy or whatever, again, due to past history of being brushed off because they can't bring themselves to tell me they don't want to talk, I feel all scared and panicked that I've said or done something and they genuinely don't want to talk to me.

What is up with me? I wish to be normal more than anything. I wish to make friends and maintain my friendships without reading so much into things.

I feel like crying, I'm such a freak and no wonder I'm all alone. I live in a new place. I go to the baby group and I feel like they look at me funny. See? Paranoid!! UGHHHH!!!!

Anyone else feel like this? What do I do? I feel like I'm an awful person and will end up like an old woman with a whole heap of cats for company.

are you in my head?

 

[mystika802]

Im the same way too. So many people have wronged me in my life I just gave up trying to keep friends a long time ago. Now I just dont trust anyone until they prove to me I can...its bad but true. I have trouble keeping friends too but I have my husband and one really good friend and really I dont need more than that

 

[LulaBug]

Ever since I was little, I've never been inundated with friends. I was always on the sidelines because I guess I just never really fitted in with the others and although I had a couple of friends, I just seemed to be on my own for most of the time.
I was often seen as weird and a bit kooky and it seemed weird and kooky were not in, as far as friends go kind of thing.

I seem to find it unbearingly difficult to make friends...well...no, making friends I'm good at, it's keeping the friendships going I suck at.

Due to my past history with people being nice to my face and finding out they've done nothing but bitch about me behind my back, I get extremely paranoid that people are doing it again now.

I'm quite opinionated. Things I post on facebook are quite controversial, without me meaning them to be. I just don't really think things through before posting them and sometimes end up landing myself in hot water.

I just wish I wasn't so paranoid because it'd then make me feel that I could relax and enjoy my friendships rather than questioning everything.

If someone can't talk, due to being busy or whatever, again, due to past history of being brushed off because they can't bring themselves to tell me they don't want to talk, I feel all scared and panicked that I've said or done something and they genuinely don't want to talk to me.

What is up with me? I wish to be normal more than anything. I wish to make friends and maintain my friendships without reading so much into things.

I feel like crying, I'm such a freak and no wonder I'm all alone. I live in a new place. I go to the baby group and I feel like they look at me funny. See? Paranoid!! UGHHHH!!!!

Anyone else feel like this? What do I do? I feel like I'm an awful person and will end up like an old woman with a whole heap of cats for company.

are you in my head?

Safe to say I'm not alone then lol xxx

 

[littlepne]

No advice but you're definately not alone! For various reasons, I've always seems "out of the loop" so to speak in whatever circle of friends I had.

When I did barwork, I was fine when working with the social side, I think it was a bit of an "act" that I put on (especially with depression as well, putting on the "happy face")

PS: Lulabug, your siggy makes me laugh with squatters rights, I had one of those as well

 

[LulaBug]

No advice but you're definately not alone! For various reasons, I've always seems "out of the loop" so to speak in whatever circle of friends I had.

When I did barwork, I was fine when working with the social side, I think it was a bit of an "act" that I put on (especially with depression as well, putting on the "happy face")

PS: Lulabug, your siggy makes me laugh with squatters rights, I had one of those as well

It's easy to pretend everythings OK when deep down you're screaming and crying to yourself!

LOL, he most definitely didn't want to come out. Was in labour for 55 hours and in the end I needed a Ventouse delivery where I'd been pushing fruitlessly for over an hour. He wasn't coming out without first putting up a fight but in the end he got evicted from the big momma house lol! xxx

 

[Dragonfly]

I dont have anyt friends at all off the internet. I have neighbours I chat to and even at that I dont get close to people as they interfere or back stab me. I actually do get upset having no one to talk to, I try and keep my dad here just so I can talk to an adult or darrens friends. I had a flaeky friend who lost interest in me when she moved and dosnt answer her phone any more. She comes back and apoligises but goes off again and i am not arsed chasing her. others always say they will call and stand me up. I dont even take them seriously any more. I mean if you dont want to visit when I didnt ask why would you volunteer then make an excuse later on when you dont turn up? weird. I wont actually make friends with people as i am fed up with being messed around like that to. I had friends that caused problems in my life, headaches the lot! I have ended up alone because I cant make a decent friend who just excepts me. Dont like my parenting skills, dont like what I do and why I dont do as they do. I dont care what they do and except many things about people it makes life more interesting unfortunately i havnt met a like minded person. I dont go to baby groups i dont think theres one around here anyway but i know i wouldnt fit in there, i dont fit in most places anyway. I dont like being questioned like parenting is my specialist skill on mastermind by nosey cows who nit pick. My aunt was my friend for a while , only person I had to talok to only she went away i dont know why i thinkm my breastfeeding was pissing her off as she kept saying how her kids where fine, I never replied when she said that as i didnt want a row maybe she has issues i dont know.

sado. embarassed now.

 

[country_girl8]

I dont have anyt friends at all off the internet. I have neighbours I chat to and even at that I dont get close to people as they interfere or back stab me. I actually do get upset having no one to talk to, I try and keep my dad here just so I can talk to an adult or darrens friends. I had a flaeky friend who lost interest in me when she moved and dosnt answer her phone any more. She comes back and apoligises but goes off again and i am not arsed chasing her. others always say they will call and stand me up. I dont even take them seriously any more. I mean if you dont want to visit when I didnt ask why would you volunteer then make an excuse later on when you dont turn up? weird. I wont actually make friends with people as i am fed up with being messed around like that to. I had friends that caused problems in my life, headaches the lot! I have ended up alone because I cant make a decent friend who just excepts me. Dont like my parenting skills, dont like what I do and why I dont do as they do. I dont care what they do and except many things about people it makes life more interesting unfortunately i havnt met a like minded person. I dont go to baby groups i dont think theres one around here anyway but i know i wouldnt fit in there, i dont fit in most places anyway. I dont like being questioned like parenting is my specialist skill on mastermind by nosey cows who nit pick. My aunt was my friend for a while , only person I had to talok to only she went away i dont know why i thinkm my breastfeeding was pissing her off as she kept saying how her kids where fine, I never replied when she said that as i didnt want a row maybe she has issues i dont know.

sado. embarassed now.

If your a saddo i am too!! I agree with pretty much everything u have said people r *******s

 

[Dragonfly]

what was last word there?

 

[Lost_Plot]

I think it started with W lol

 

[Dragonfly]

ohh right the r threw me off there.

 

[Lost_Plot]

r as in are lol

Besides you're not a saddo. I think you're more likely a decent person that's been taken for granted too many times.

 

[Dragonfly]

I though the R was atached to the word I didnt see space. stupid tired eyes lol I a, just sick of having friuends that try and either control me really. And when I dont do as they want they fall out with me. Hard for them to except I dont do things the same way as them and if i dont I offend them. People here arent excepting. I dont mind advice I can take and either do or ignore but I dont want someone taking exception when I ignore it.

two friensds when i was preg with wiliam caused so much crap for us, got right into our lifes and where even telling my partner off actually to the point I seen my other half cry ! saying he was going to be a shit dad and all. fell out with me said they would call social on us because we owned a dog and all. Said there was something wrong with me when i was being sick to much, this girl came to my house at 11 pm pissed to row with me when i was 23 weeks pregnant and had my friend in tears! threatening her and all. she is really not wise in the head. Always fighting with poeple. rowing in streets. I am so glad she isnt my friend any more. I know my OH speaks to them and they ask about me but i am not forgiving, to forgive is an invite back in my life and i do not want that to happen.

 

[Lost_Plot]

You do sound better off without them. Calling social for a dog ffs sounds like a bit of jealousy to me.

I know what you mean about the "My way or the high way" advice. I just try and be polite. I'm useless for advice I'm on my first child I don't read books about child care I just see what he needs and give it to him as best I can. Anything I do that might cause controversy on the thread I just don't admit to lol. IMO it's your child your way. Unfortunately most people don't feel like that about anything not just children I think thats why everyone's paranoid to a degree.

 

[Dragonfly]

these two where mental i hear he went to prison he hit her while pregnant and she smashed his face in with a shovel! loads of witnesses told us it was on the street. She got the shovel from a friends house across road. one her kids is like 13 and smokes dope, he is ignored and getting into more and more trouble and the other has autism. she feeds him coke and chocolate but i never said anything to her about it its not my place.