Does the BF vs FF debate exsist in real life?

[SKATERBUN]

1) Have you ever had a 'heated' debated/discussion about FF vs BF in real life.
No and probably never will

2) Why do you think the answer you've given above it so
because people I know are fairly normal and are only concerned with their own issues, if a stranger on the street approached me and tried to start a debate I would think they were a bit unhinged tbh

I have had midwives preaching about the benefits but I have never got into a discussion or debate with them

3) Where do you feel you are on this spectrum. 1 I dont really care. 5 as long as your feeding your child thats fine 10 I have a very strong opinion onf FF/BF

5 as I did want to BF with DD1 but unfortunately couldn't, but plan to try again with DS/DD2

 

[joeyjo]

1) Have you ever had a 'heated' debated/discussion about FF vs BF in real life. No although I have discussed breastfeeding A LOT as I am involved with a support group.

2) Why do you think the answer you've given above it so. Its not for me to judge how a mother chooses to feed her baby.

3) Where do you feel you are on this spectrum. 1 I dont really care. 5 as long as your feeding your child thats fine 10 I have a very strong opinion onf FF/BF
This is a difficult one for me to answer.
I don't really care how indivdual babies are fed - as long as they are fed BUT
I feel very strongly that BF should be the norm, I struggle to understand why people don't try it or BF for at least the first few days and I hate the fact that so often in every day life FF is displayed as the norm (TV shows, books, kids dolls). IN the same breath I don't think women should be made to feel bad if they try & then decide it isn't for them.
I also feel strongly that BF support should be available for all women whether they choose to BF exclusively or combi feed, I know combi feeders can feel very excluded.

 

[angelandbump]

I have never argued with anyone in person about the whole breast 'vs' bottle but i will admit to feeling embarresed about bottle feeding my son im public even when i has expressed the milk in a bottle, i always tried to make a point of saying something as i didnt want people to think i didnt care for my child (hormones thinking).

I actually took to telling people i 'nursed' my son to sleep and let them take it anyway they wanted. Stupid i know but i felt lie such a failure when i couldnt breast feed but now when i look back i feel stupid for thinking that. The whole debate is stupid as it can sometimes make mums like me feel crap even though i tried my hardest to breast feed and managed on expressing for a month.

It should be a case of "mind your own business" as long as a baby is getting fed, isnt that the main thing.

x

 

[Rhio92]

I've never come across this in RL... But I suppose if it was the kind of person who criticizes you for the way you feed your child, they've probably got lots of other annoying know it all opinions, and would have been slapped loooong ago

 

[TigerLady]

Interesting!

I've never had a real debate about it IRL.

Probably because I don't feel the need to be openly judgmental to anyone. I would not give anyone a hard time about how they are feeding their children -- largely because I don't know the circumstances behind how they arrived at the decision to feed the way they chose.

Here's where I contradict myself a bit -- I actually do feel very strongly that every baby should be BF if possible. They should at least be given the chance. Moms should try. I would rate myself at a 10 on how strongly I feel about that. However, I would never be loud or militant about it.

I've actually recently run across several different circumstances...

1. A very good friend had a baby about 4 months before I had my first. She tried to BF, tried very hard, and was unable. She is a rare medical exception where she cannot produce any quantity of quality milk. I feel awful for how it turned out for her and would never judge her for a second for FF as she had no choice. I pumped a good deal of extra milk for her baby and her LO was able to get at least one bottle of my milk per day for many months. She was grateful for that and I feel lucky to have been able to help.

2. A coworker of mine chose to FF her baby (born 6 months after my first) from the start. Never even considered trying to BF just as she never BF her first. She also got a boob job recently (her boobs are clearly about body image and sexual things rather than food for babies). I'd be totally lying if I didn't admit that doesn't sit well with me. She chose what she did for selfish reasons and didn't consider what was best for her baby. Even though I don't like feeling this, the truth is part of me feels she failed in part of her parenting duties. I feel guilty for feeling that way, though. I really feel like I shouldn't judge her for her parenting choices! She loves her babies and I know that. But I can't help but feel she should have at least tried.

3. A girl I know was very determined to BF her baby. The baby ended up being about 8 weeks early and in the NICU. She is young and under more stress than she deserves recently. I think she tried pumping for the baby, but it didn't go well. She soon went to FF. While I feel she probably could have been successful if she had really put everything into it, I don't blame her or fault her for giving up. I feel mostly sorry for her and her baby.

4. My friend (in post 1) has a friend who has been unable to concieve. She has an adoption of a newborn pending for about 2 weeks from now. I told my friend to let her know I have a large freezer stash of milk I need to be used before it goes bad and she is welcome to it. I would also pump more for her if she'd like. I hope she accepts, but would not question it for a second if she declines.

I have found myself defending both BF and FF moms on internet debates. Ironically, I find myself defending FF moms more often than BF moms. Some BF proponents can get very angry and hurtful. Because I know not all moms CHOOSE to not BF I end up coming to the defense of those that FF. Especially when BF moms say particularly hurtful comments about FF.

So where does that all put me?? All over the place!

 

[whoops]

I've never had a heated debate in RL.

Probably because the only heated debates I get into on here about the issue are when I step in to defend FFing. It hasn't happened in ages but there were a spate of threads when I was in 2nd and 3rd tri with a handful of people, and one in particular, pushing BFing as the only suitable option and using emotive language to press their point.

I don't tend to associate with people who have such strong opinions in RL. Although if I did, I'd probably step in to defend FFing and the mothers who do.

On the scale, I'm between a 1 and a 5. I would have loved to BF myself but it didn't work out. However, I have friends who have FF from the start and I don't think any less of them for that - I think each to their own. In fact, I almost admire them for not feeling pressured into BFing.

 

[Janidog]

Yes I have had a heated debate in real live, and that was with my sister and it got pretty close to falling out big time over it. Even now it can be sparked off easily

She is passionate about BF and Im passionate about FF

 

[peanut56]

I've never gotten into a debate over it in real life. I'm the only person I know who formula feeds, and my friends and family have all been very supportive of me and sympathetic to the fact that breastfeeding didn't work out for me. They may have a different opinion when I'm not around (possibly, I don't know) but they've never said a negative thing to my face.
I've felt judged a couple of times, but to be honest, it very well could have been made up in my head, due to the tremendous amount of guilt I carried for a few months after giving up trying to breastfeed.
I personally don't care how someone feeds their child as long as the child is being properly taken care of. I am a huge supporter of breast feeding and think it should be supported and encouraged and promoted as much as possible. But I also believe that it's a woman's right to choose, and if she decides to FF from the start, that's her right, her business.

 

[thedog]

Interesting!

I've never had a real debate about it IRL.

Probably because I don't feel the need to be openly judgmental to anyone. I would not give anyone a hard time about how they are feeding their children -- largely because I don't know the circumstances behind how they arrived at the decision to feed the way they chose.

Here's where I contradict myself a bit -- I actually do feel very strongly that every baby should be BF if possible. They should at least be given the chance. Moms should try. I would rate myself at a 10 on how strongly I feel about that. However, I would never be loud or militant about it.

I've actually recently run across several different circumstances...

1. A very good friend had a baby about 4 months before I had my first. She tried to BF, tried very hard, and was unable. She is a rare medical exception where she cannot produce any quantity of quality milk. I feel awful for how it turned out for her and would never judge her for a second for FF as she had no choice. I pumped a good deal of extra milk for her baby and her LO was able to get at least one bottle of my milk per day for many months. She was grateful for that and I feel lucky to have been able to help.

2. A coworker of mine chose to FF her baby (born 6 months after my first) from the start. Never even considered trying to BF just as she never BF her first. She also got a boob job recently (her boobs are clearly about body image and sexual things rather than food for babies). I'd be totally lying if I didn't admit that doesn't sit well with me. She chose what she did for selfish reasons and didn't consider what was best for her baby. Even though I don't like feeling this, the truth is part of me feels she failed in part of her parenting duties. I feel guilty for feeling that way, though. I really feel like I shouldn't judge her for her parenting choices! She loves her babies and I know that. But I can't help but feel she should have at least tried.

3. A girl I know was very determined to BF her baby. The baby ended up being about 8 weeks early and in the NICU. She is young and under more stress than she deserves recently. I think she tried pumping for the baby, but it didn't go well. She soon went to FF. While I feel she probably could have been successful if she had really put everything into it, I don't blame her or fault her for giving up. I feel mostly sorry for her and her baby.

4. My friend (in post 1) has a friend who has been unable to concieve. She has an adoption of a newborn pending for about 2 weeks from now. I told my friend to let her know I have a large freezer stash of milk I need to be used before it goes bad and she is welcome to it. I would also pump more for her if she'd like. I hope she accepts, but would not question it for a second if she declines.

I have found myself defending both BF and FF moms on internet debates. Ironically, I find myself defending FF moms more often than BF moms. Some BF proponents can get very angry and hurtful. Because I know not all moms CHOOSE to not BF I end up coming to the defense of those that FF. Especially when BF moms say particularly hurtful comments about FF.

So where does that all put me?? All over the place!

I guess i would be what you consider as failing my duties then

 

[Nibblenic]

Now I have seem many a debate on this forum about FF Vs BF.
This isnt what this thread is about because let just say its been done before.

So I would like to stick to specific questions just to try and keep it on topic a little.

1) Have you ever had a 'heated' debated/discussion about FF vs BF in real life.

2) Why do you think the answer you've given above it so

3) Where do you feel you are on this spectrum. 1 I dont really care. 5 as long as your feeding your child thats fine 10 I have a very strong opinion onf FF/BF

Dont want things getting personal. Just stick to the questions please.

 

[tasha41]

1) Have you ever had a 'heated' debated/discussion about FF vs BF in real life.
Hell no!

2) Why do you think the answer you've given above it so
Because (as you will see below) I don't really care how others feed their children. Plus I really didn't know anyone IRL who had a baby at the same time as me, and now that I have friends with infants... I'm just too busy to be bothered with debating something silly like that. Plus we know each other well enough that we don't have to jump to any conclusions and judgments about one another.

3) Where do you feel you are on this spectrum. 1 I dont really care. 5 as long as your feeding your child thats fine 10 I have a very strong opinion onf FF/BF.
5-6 probably. I don't really care how another parent feeds their child, as long as they do it. And they love them and care for them properly. But I really resent the competition between BF and FF moms... that's what I feel strongly about.. grow up and get over it

 

[xCookieDough]

I only hear it on internet forums and unfortunately some people can be so rude and cruel on the subject!
___XO

 

[wishuwerehere]

1) Have you ever had a 'heated' debated/discussion about FF vs BF in real life.
Nope

2) Why do you think the answer you've given above it so
I think when you talk to someone online it's easy to lose a sense of perspective!

3) Where do you feel you are on this spectrum. 1 I dont really care. 5 as long as your feeding your child thats fine 10
I would say I'm about a 7 or 8. If someone asked me about it I'd have a pro BF stance, like if a pregnant friend wanted advice on how to feed her baby I'd advise her to try it and tell her about the benefits. Equally, if someone was formula feeding their baby, I wouldn't have a go or act like it's a bad thing, because it isn't!

 

[nomadlife]

It seems to be more of an online heated debate. Most people aren't that blunt IRL

 

[KittyVentura]

Yes. Except in real life it seems reversed. I had to continually defend my choice to BF. People were telling me it was pointless and too much work and that I should just switch to FF. I actually did at 3 weeks but not through "choice". I still have issues with teh fact I couldn;t BF for longer xx

 

[lynnikins]

1) Have you ever had a 'heated' debated/discussion about FF vs BF in real life.
Yes i have

2) Why do you think the answer you've given above it so because the person was questioning my right and choice to feed my child how I wish and telling me how I would fail etc... and in general being really rude

3) Where do you feel you are on this spectrum. 1 I dont really care. 5 as long as your feeding your child thats fine 10 I have a very strong opinion onf FF/BF
im probably a 7-8 in that I will try to encourage and support the people i know around me to BF if its possible and help them ( if they want ) to work through any reasons why they arent comfortable with it. Aiming all the while to show support and encouragement without stuffing my opinion down their throat, If they want to FF thats fine and i dont need them to tell me more than once im happy to let them get on with it and if they want advice on that offer that too as i have both BF and FF my children.

 

[lynnikins]

Yes. Except in real life it seems reversed. I had to continually defend my choice to BF. People were telling me it was pointless and too much work and that I should just switch to FF. I actually did at 3 weeks but not through "choice". I still have issues with teh fact I couldn;t BF for longer xx

ive predominately found the same thing 90% of pple who comment on my BF always come from a negative opinion of " oh you will stop soon caus otherwise they wont sleep through the night " or " eww that disgusting i cant believe your doing that " normally they spout off some BF myth they heard "back in the day" or misinformation that they were given and resulted in their own failure to feed and decision to swap.


im sorry you had that experience Kitty, hope you check out the BF section here if you decide to BF your next baby its full of loads of support

 

[AirForceWife7]

1) Have you ever had a 'heated' debated/discussion about FF vs BF in real life.

Never. I have only offered support to mothers whether they breast feed or bottle feed. To each their own.

2) Why do you think the answer you've given above it so

Simply because on the internet people can hide behind a computer screen .. you can say what you want to people without actually coming face to face with them & discussing the issue.

3) Where do you feel you are on this spectrum. 1 I dont really care. 5 as long as your feeding your child thats fine 10 I have a very strong opinion onf FF/BF

I'd say I'm a 5. Every parent has their own way of feeding their child. I am a formula feeder, but I would have loved to have breast fed. To each their own. Either way, I support the parent's decision .. whether it be breast or bottle .. as long as the child is happy & loved

 

[TigerLady]

I think KV might be right -- I find myself defending my choice to BF, especially extended BFing, MUCH more often than I think I've ever known a woman to defend her choice to FF.

 

[PeanutBean]

1) Have you ever had a 'heated' debated/discussion about FF vs BF in real life.
Nope.

2) Why do you think the answer you've given above it so
I don't really talk to people about their parenting choices. I don't get involved in the endless feeding debates on here either though.

3) Where do you feel you are on this spectrum. 1 I dont really care. 5 as long as your feeding your child thats fine 10 I have a very strong opinion onf FF/BF.
10 I do have very strong opinions about it (pro BF where BF is possible) but like I said I don't really go in for judging others or at least discussing it with them, it's their business after all.