does this make me a witch?

[MummyMummy]

i don't have anything to do with partners mum and he knows better than to

what happened was when we were going to buy a house and wanted to save money he explained he wanted to moveout of the house she shared with his bro and would find somebody else to move in that wasn't good enough so she stopped paying the over draft he had got out for his brother on the promise his mum would pay him back (after a year all she had done was just pay the £20 interest eachmonth... not attemptto pay itback) and we were gonna be leftpaying £20 a month if wedidn't pay off the £1,200 and odd o/d. to which my grandad gave usthe money for (which of course meant the house deposit from him wasn't as much) then we had a sky bill thru (when we had just moved into rented accomodation... we gave up with buying)telling us we owed £100 n odd which turned out washers cause she hadn't paid/cancelled and it was in mr. mans name. mr.man gave me impression she said she'd get it sorted straight away. turned out she was only gonna pay £8 amonth! i was NOT gonna spend my entire pregnancy worrying about her paying and with her track record of paying stuff back and according to partner she said she couldn't afford anymore (did i mention she has a suped up 08 ford focus and at the time was having her restaurant redone etc etc but she didn't have an extra £100 and odd to pay her bill) so once again we paid it off. this same 'mother' allowed her partner to kick my mr.man out on his 21st bday and the same mother who told peopleabout our pregnancy knowing my mr.man wanted to tell people in his own time.

i don't want her around me or the babies or knowing about our life yet mr. man keeps saying he 'has totell her' when i give birth becuase 'it's his mum'. am i a horrid horrid person for telling him idon't want him to tell her anything?

xXx

 

[hypnorm]

I think he has a right to tell her, doesn't mean she has to be involved.
Might be the one chance he has to show her that he is a proud dad.

 

[MummyMummy]

i don't have a problem with her knowing really, just don't think she 'deserves' to be one of the 1st people to receive that infamous phonecall from the new daddy that everyone waits for kwim?
xXx

 

[sarah_george]

If she wants to be involved i would try and make the effort to let her, theres all too many people out there doing it alone that would give anything to have family around to 'show off baby too' and to lean on for support, from what you have said it all seems to be about money unless i misread something, your child having a good grandparent shouldnt be about that, just a thought, good luck with whatever you decide xxx

 

[MummyMummy]

oh it isn't just about money, although that's a big issue.
she's been a bitch tome in the past, phoned me up to shout her mouth off about something i'd done, but actually it was her other son (the brother who my mr.man then lived with) that had got himself into a grumpto put it nicely and completly forgot/got the wrong end of the stick. she never appologised or tried to make amends just said i was'in the wrong place at the wrong time' and had a chuckle about it. well not really when it was HER who phoned ME.
when we needed the help and support most she wasn't there. never once offered to help us, just made it harder. to me that isn't what a mum does. at the begining of this preg we agreed to a fresh start then she went and screwed us over with another bill that we couldn't afford to pay after just moving out on our own. it hurt, really hurt. my nan and grandad where doing everything possible to help us out and shewas just trying to make it harder it really hurt, because at first i liked her and then she just went and did that to us
xXx

 

[Pyrrhic]

Its his choice though, not yours. If he wants to tell his Mum then let him.

 

[sarah_george]

Is that the same grandparent who has brought all the baby stuff you mentioned in the other post?

 

[MummyMummy]

the child is both of ours, not just mine, not just his. we both have a say in who knows what, all i wanted to know if me not wanting her to be one of the 1st to know would send me straight to hell haha. like i posted above, her knowing isn't so much the problem just that i didn't think she deserved to be one of the first.
xXx

 

[Pyrrhic]

the child is both of ours, not just mine, not just his. we both have a say in who knows what, all i wanted to know if me not wanting her to be one of the 1st to know would send me straight to hell haha. like i posted above, her knowing isn't so much the problem just that i didn't think she deserved to be one of the first.
xXx

I do realise the child is yours, not just his....


However it's his family, and his Mum. Whether or not he hasn't got on with her in the past you can't take away the fact that he has a right to want to be able to tell the woman who raised him. He has a right as a father to tell his family if he chooses.

You didn't say you didn't want to tell her first, you said you didn't want to tell her anything, which implies you don't want her to know you've given birth.

 

[MummyMummy]

Is that the same grandparent who has brought all the baby stuff you mentioned in the other post?

oh god no! that's partners dads wife, we have only been in touch with them about 2 months. i much prefer his dads wife to his mum, she seems alot nicer and seems to be able to make time for her kids, but after just 3 visits it's still early days isn't it to form a proper opinion on somebody. hopfully in the future we can get to know mr.mans dads side of the family more
xXx

 

[MummyMummy]

i don't want her to know about the ins and outs, no. we told her we moved and that we was preg, but not where to or exact date when baby was due.
don't particularly want her knowing our address as don't fancy her wonderful sister coming around with an attitude again.
xXx

 

[Pyrrhic]

Well, you don't have to let her know the ins and outs or let her know your address. I think that if your OH wants her to know about the baby though, then you can't really stand in the way of that.

 

[Pink_Witch]

Well, you don't have to let her know the ins and outs or let her know your address. I think that if your OH wants her to know about the baby though, then you can't really stand in the way of that.

i agree!!

and no it doesnt make you a witch-believing in our beliefs,casting spells etc THAT makes you a witch