does your dd wear a dress everyday? and a rant.

[catty]

My daughter has heaps of dresses but only for parties or something special (she also wears them alot in summer) but to softplay or a toddlers group not a chance!! Usually leggings and a top or she has a few jeggings or jeans

 

[adrie]

Valla definitely doesn't wear dresses every day, or even every week, for that matter. She mostly wears jeggings or leggings, and cute tops, sweaters, boots and/or sneakers.

I would have words for high school moms like that; I wouldn't care how many of them were there!

Don't let it bother you! They are childish and juvenile.

 

[staralfur]

My LO loves dresses in the summer and occasionally she'll decide she wants to wear one of her super poofy, frilly dresses (ones we bought for special occasions) to the store or something, but a majority of the time and especially when it's not 25+ degrees out, she's in leggings and a shirt.

Right now she pretty much alternates between a dark green shirt with a T-Rex and velociraptors on it, and her two hockey jerseys...so not very 'girly' at all. I'm sure people who were into gender stereotypes would be horrified.

The other day my DH was getting a new phone and my LO wanted to pick out a new case for it. She spent a lot of time looking and finally decided on this super sparkly, bedazzled case. Another little girl was there and my LO proudly told her "I picked this out for my dad" and the other girl just looked at her funny and said "that's for girls, you have to pick something for boys." I was shocked actually as she was not much older than my LO and I could never see mine saying anything like that. My LO looked at me super confused like "what does she mean it's for girls only??" which made me happy and I just reassured her that it was a lovely case and she could show her dad when he gets back.

There's just no need for that stuff, especially at this age. They'll have to deal with plenty of judgment and social 'rules' when they're older, just let them be free to do what they want/are comfortable with for as long as they can. It's especially sad that a group of adults put that judgment on your child.

 

[SarahBear]

Wow, I definitely notice differences when Violet is dressed differently, but those moms sound awful. What I notice when Violet dresses "like a boy" is that people get confused about how to treat her and often don't comment on her clothes. When she's dressed "girly," people pay WAY too much attention to her appearance and try to use it as a talking point with her. It drives me crazy, but what you're describing is way worse! As for clothing options, Violet has never done well with two choices and usually picks from among all her clothes which ends in some pretty silly combinations. At 21 months, we had a dress or two we would put her in, but mostly she did not wear dresses. She was still at the age where we could pick what clothes we bought for her and we bought a range of clothes from "boy clothes" to more girly. She also didn't have very long hair. Around 2.5 or 3ish, she started to like dresses more. At 21 months, kids have no idea about gender expectations. By about 3, they're definitely picking up on things. In terms of being judged, picking up on that judgement is the real reason for any major differences between girls and boys. They don't really start out all that different but as they pick up on the categories of "boy" and "girl," and begin to identify with the categories, their interests begin to be shaped by what is expected by them being a girl or a boy. The more we keep things balanced within our own homes and talk about these things, the more balanced kids end up.

 

[_Meep_]

My daughter almost never wears a dress - she likes running and climbing and generally being active, and would only be hindered by having to wear skirts.

She also has practically no hair and what she does have is very fine and stands out like Einstein's.

People almost always think she is a boy - even when she has been wearing pink or a dress, we have occasionally had someone refer to her as 'he'.

It doesn't bother me, as they aren't being nasty. However, the mums you saw were being nothing other than absolute bitches and I genuinely feel sorry for their children.

 

[Kanichen34]

Whenever possible I give Imogen a choice, from as early as a year if I pulled something out of the drawer she didn't like she'd toddle over and put it back and choose something else! Occasionally she'll choose a dress or skirt, but 9/10 it's leggings or denim shorts and tights. She loves jeans too but depending what we are doing those aren't practical. Soft play I insist is leggings - much more comfy and easier to climb in than anything else! Imogen also has a checked shirt she adores, I keep meaning to buy her more! Those women probably treat their children like dolls, just be glad that isn't you

 

[Bekah78]

What decade are they living in?? Surely women have fought for years not to get these sort of comments from men... They're putting back feminism back years with catty comments like that.

I also agree that dresses/skirts are not practical for where you were.

 

[StaceyKor]

Both of my girls wear mostly leggings and tops. They also have some casual dresses that I pair with tights. Fancier dresses I only put on them for parties....and at that if it's a soft play party I tend to opt for a Fancier top and leggings set instead. Dd1 would wear a dress every day in life lol but tbh it isn't practical most of the time.x

 

[AnneD]

Yes 99.9% of the time, and it's her choice. I never wear trousers myself.

I'm sorry those mums were so horrible.

 

[jessmke]

My daughter is much younger than yours, only 3 months, but we almost never put her in a dress. She has a lot of boys clothes, only because I find girls clothes are almost always pink. I don't mind pink, but I like other colours too and I usually have to go to the boys section to find them. We took my daughter to Mexico a few weeks ago and we took some infant summer dresses with us and we both laughed at her when she wore a dress for the first time because it just looked so odd on her. We live in the country so she likely will not wear dresses on a regular basis because it just isn't practical here. I can't believe they would say things like that about you, what country are you living in?

 

[SpringerS]

I only have a son so my opinion is possibly worthless but if I did, she would mostly wear my son's old clothes, mixed up with a few new 'girly' items. She would probably wear dresses/skirts slightly more than I do but mainly for special occasions and in warm weather and when she is old enough to choose to for herself. For playgroups, I'd dress her like I do myself and my son, ie only ever in clothes that give the least friction on slides.

And if she is into superheroes, while she'd wear lots of DS's old stuff, I'd make her a lot of clothing so instead of just having Batman and Robin and Spider-man on her t-shirt, she'd have Batwoman and Batgirl and Spider-woman too. Because while I don't think it's important for girls to dress 'girly' I do think that it's extremely important that she grows up knowing that the 'people' she finds cool, like superheroes, are just as frequently women and girls as men and boys. Though I already have that rule with my son and have made him superhero jumpers that feature male and female characters. And I make him custom toy figures of women and people of other ethnicites as almost all the figures made in his favourite toy ranges are white males.

 

[AngelofTroy]

I only have a son so my opinion is possibly worthless but if I did, she would mostly wear my son's old clothes, mixed up with a few new 'girly' items. She would probably wear dresses/skirts slightly more than I do but mainly for special occasions and in warm weather and when she is old enough to choose to for herself. For playgroups, I'd dress her like I do myself and my son, ie only ever in clothes that give the least friction on slides.

And if she is into superheroes, while she'd wear lots of DS's old stuff, I'd make her a lot of clothing so instead of just having Batman and Robin and Spider-man on her t-shirt, she'd have Batwoman and Batgirl and Spider-woman too. Because while I don't think it's important for girls to dress 'girly' I do think that it's extremely important that she grows up knowing that the 'people' she finds cool, like superheroes, are just as frequently women and girls as men and boys. Though I already have that rule with my son and have made him superhero jumpers that feature male and female characters. And I make him custom toy figures of women and people of other ethnicites as almost all the figures made in his favourite toy ranges are white males.

That is so cool, I wish I was that crafty!

 

[Natasha2605]

Those sound like awful people!

My daughters mainly wear tunics/leggings or tops and leggings but have lots of dresses. It just depends on how practical it is for what we are doing that day.

They both went out last night with OH. One dressed as batgirl and one as superwoman.

Maci went to nursery for world book day dressed as Iron Man and the boys all thought she looked amazing.

 

[Pixie19]

My daughter barely ever wears dresses. Most of the time she dresses quite boyish and even wears some of her older brothers clothes.
Shes only 18 months but she loves Iron man and the Hulk. Gender stereotyping pisses me off. Clothes are clothes, toys are toys, colours are colours. Why the need to sort them into genders? It baffles me! As long as a child is happy and healthy it shouldnt be a concern to people what they are wearing or playing with.

 

[JessyG]

My DD wears a dress maybe once or twice a week. She wears a lot of shorts, tights and t shirts or trousers and t shirts. She actually has a lot less dresses and some of them are just too fancy for every day. She maybe has 3 that are casual.

These women sound like women I would make a conscious effort to avoid. I just don't have time for people being assholes.

For what its worth, her outfit sounds really nice and I love the batman t-shirt!

 

[Neko]

My daughter wears dresses almost every day. However that's not typical, when she is at school maybe two or three girls have dresses on out of a dozen girls.

 

[londonangel]

They sound like horrid, bullying people to steer well clear of. Actually I would raise their behaviour with whoever runs the stay and play sessions. So sorry you have had to put up with such horridness.

 

[minties]

Sophie wears a dress maybe once every 6 months! They never seem practical. Either her legs will get too much sun, or rain, or whatever else NZ weather decides to throw up. Also - sand in your privates from sand pits...

 

[Bevziibubble]

They sound horrible!
My FIL used to moan about Holly never wearing a dress and said its no wonder people always mistake her for a boy. They mistook her for a boy because she had no hair, not because she didn't wear dresses. It doesn't happen now she has hair, and she still rarely wear dresses apart from very hot days usually.

 

[siobhankerry]

I was just about to post exactly what you wrote ha!
our Good auld Scottish weather doesn't allow many days for dresses and skirts, or atleast not without tights, heavy jackets and bunnets lol xo