does your MIL have a relationship with your child?
- Thread starter missy123
- Start date
Wiggler
Mummy to three monkeys
- Joined
- Jun 25, 2010
- Messages
- 21,650
- Reaction score
- 0
MIL is not really a part of my kids lives which makes me sad cos I grew up with a nan who never really bothered (but spent loads of time with my cousins) and it really hurt and I don't want them feeling the same, but my mum makes up for it and is the best nanny my kids could want.
I've stopped trying to forge a relationship with my DS and my MIL. I just can't be bothered with it when she doesn't try herself!
Daniel is 17 months old and MIL has met him a total of 4 times (will be 5 - she is coming down for a 2 week stay - arriving today - oh joy)
They live in yorkshire (200 miles away) but frankly, in this day and age, I think there are other ways of having a relationship.
We have installed Skype on their computer so they can do free video calls with us. We have told them that all they need to do is phone us to see if we are in/Daniel is awake and we can then skype each other and they can 'see' Daniel and how he is doing.
I have got sick to death of telling my hubby that we really should skype his parents to show them a milestone of Daniels. They are able to make outgoing calls on their phone so I am now waiting for them to initiate some contact.
Both of them are retired and able to drive, but they always want us to visit them in Yorkshire. This is pissing me off too, for various reasons. We both work (hubby nearly 40hrs a week - me 30hrs a week) I'm a shift worker and have to work 2 or 3 weekends a month, so visits need to be planned around my weekends off (which I don't really want to spend with my MIL). Travelling 200 miles with a small child is not pleasant.
They don't have a single thing for him up there. No travel cot, no booster seat, not even a few toys! And more importantly, they refuse to have a fire guard around their open fire, telling me that I should just keep an eye on him and he will be fine!! (I have offered to BUY a fire guard - but nope!)
When they do come and visit, its because they have other plans than seeing their only grandchild! This visit is to see our new house and to 'help' us move! (no doubt, my MIL has a hundred plans for decorating my rooms and will get terribly offended and huffy when I say I don't like her style)
Daniel is 17 months old and MIL has met him a total of 4 times (will be 5 - she is coming down for a 2 week stay - arriving today - oh joy)
They live in yorkshire (200 miles away) but frankly, in this day and age, I think there are other ways of having a relationship.
We have installed Skype on their computer so they can do free video calls with us. We have told them that all they need to do is phone us to see if we are in/Daniel is awake and we can then skype each other and they can 'see' Daniel and how he is doing.
I have got sick to death of telling my hubby that we really should skype his parents to show them a milestone of Daniels. They are able to make outgoing calls on their phone so I am now waiting for them to initiate some contact.
Both of them are retired and able to drive, but they always want us to visit them in Yorkshire. This is pissing me off too, for various reasons. We both work (hubby nearly 40hrs a week - me 30hrs a week) I'm a shift worker and have to work 2 or 3 weekends a month, so visits need to be planned around my weekends off (which I don't really want to spend with my MIL). Travelling 200 miles with a small child is not pleasant.
They don't have a single thing for him up there. No travel cot, no booster seat, not even a few toys! And more importantly, they refuse to have a fire guard around their open fire, telling me that I should just keep an eye on him and he will be fine!! (I have offered to BUY a fire guard - but nope!)
When they do come and visit, its because they have other plans than seeing their only grandchild! This visit is to see our new house and to 'help' us move! (no doubt, my MIL has a hundred plans for decorating my rooms and will get terribly offended and huffy when I say I don't like her style)
L
lepaskilf
Guest
My MIL completely dotes on Tom. He's the only grandchild at the moment, but I know when my OH's sister has a LO she'll have more of a relationship with it as they live just down the road and we live 4hrs away.
TBH I like that she dotes on him, but sometimes it's suffocating although she lives so far away!
TBH I like that she dotes on him, but sometimes it's suffocating although she lives so far away!
P
punk_pig
Guest
My MIL has been living abroad for a lot of LOs life and it is killing her. She has visited a few times and every time she had to leave she was torn apart. She stayed with us for nearly a month which was a little tough but for the sake of forging a bond between them it was well worth it and the extra pair of hands was defo useful!!
Can't believe so many people have such dysfunctional MILs!
Can't believe so many people have such dysfunctional MILs!
AmethystDream
Proud Mum of 4
- Joined
- Sep 11, 2010
- Messages
- 1,271
- Reaction score
- 0
My MIL now has nothing to do with any of the kids and we couldn't be happier about it. Her loud bossy voice and manipulative ways are not missed.
Hayley90
Complete
- Joined
- Nov 24, 2009
- Messages
- 13,064
- Reaction score
- 0
MIL loves harrison and attempts to make effort, but tbh she has no idea. she lived up north, then moved to the USA so thats why. she has sort of given up on her other kids too though tbh, just cares about the one she lives iwth. x
missy123
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Apr 16, 2009
- Messages
- 2,277
- Reaction score
- 2
missy123
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Apr 16, 2009
- Messages
- 2,277
- Reaction score
- 2
TaylorsMummyx
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Jul 13, 2011
- Messages
- 1,906
- Reaction score
- 0
Nope!!!! We go down once every other month to see them, they treat ou two sooo diffrent to OHs sisters kids who they have sleep ect!! They never ever asked ours to sleep, don't buy them anything and just treat them rubbish, makes me cry because my dad&mum would of treated them right!!!also my dd adores them and they don't deserve her love!
TaylorsMummyx
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Jul 13, 2011
- Messages
- 1,906
- Reaction score
- 0
Forgot to say...
When we found out we was having DD mil was fuming, because she wanted a granddaughter just not us to have one as she wanted to spoil her but won't get to see DD, she was so rude and nasty about it, now as has two other grand daughters who are spoilt. When we had ds she was fuming again but because we ha another baby!! She's now banned us from ever having any more and said she will be mega pissed off if we had another loool
When we found out we was having DD mil was fuming, because she wanted a granddaughter just not us to have one as she wanted to spoil her but won't get to see DD, she was so rude and nasty about it, now as has two other grand daughters who are spoilt. When we had ds she was fuming again but because we ha another baby!! She's now banned us from ever having any more and said she will be mega pissed off if we had another loool
Snowball
Resident badass
- Joined
- Nov 12, 2007
- Messages
- 10,788
- Reaction score
- 0
My MIL (well kind of ex MIL now) hated her precious boy having babies.
She used to put on a face when she visited but you could see (and I'd always bring this up with ex DH at the time), that she wasn't particularly interested in them. She never offered to take them out on days, look after them etc. His nan did way more with them than she did.
Then when ex DH ran off with another woman and I found out I was pg with Louie she'd come over and sit the kids so he could take me to an abortion clinic... even though I made it clear I wasn't having one. When she found out I hadn't gone through with it she cut off contact to all of the kids and they haven't seen her since, even though the offer to see them has always been there (but obviously the whole situation with her son leaving his family and sleeping with a someone who looks nearly as old as her is my fault so how could she possibly?)
She's never bothered to see Louie, never got him anything when he was born (she did for the other 3) and recently she's questioned Louie's paternity which bloody upsets me. Apparently it was only questioned in conversation but still... he's HER grandson and even to ask the question to imply he's not is downright spiteful IMO.
She used to put on a face when she visited but you could see (and I'd always bring this up with ex DH at the time), that she wasn't particularly interested in them. She never offered to take them out on days, look after them etc. His nan did way more with them than she did.
Then when ex DH ran off with another woman and I found out I was pg with Louie she'd come over and sit the kids so he could take me to an abortion clinic... even though I made it clear I wasn't having one. When she found out I hadn't gone through with it she cut off contact to all of the kids and they haven't seen her since, even though the offer to see them has always been there (but obviously the whole situation with her son leaving his family and sleeping with a someone who looks nearly as old as her is my fault so how could she possibly?)
She's never bothered to see Louie, never got him anything when he was born (she did for the other 3) and recently she's questioned Louie's paternity which bloody upsets me. Apparently it was only questioned in conversation but still... he's HER grandson and even to ask the question to imply he's not is downright spiteful IMO.
TaylorsMummyx
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Jul 13, 2011
- Messages
- 1,906
- Reaction score
- 0
I would happily drive my babies the hour drive for them to spend time with there grandparents for a weekend but nope o get the "you live too far away".
Hunbun
Wifey & Mummy
- Joined
- Sep 13, 2011
- Messages
- 1,597
- Reaction score
- 0
My MIL totaly dotes on LO. He is the first Grandchild so she practicaly camped outside our house for the first month. She has eased off a bit now but still fusses over him.
I know when SIL has her kids she will be the same, but she will get more access so will probably see them more.
I know when SIL has her kids she will be the same, but she will get more access so will probably see them more.
Snowball
Resident badass
- Joined
- Nov 12, 2007
- Messages
- 10,788
- Reaction score
- 0
I'm glad I'm not the only one with a MIL who was only going to acknowledge a certain number of grandchildren
mumandco
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Jun 24, 2010
- Messages
- 6,293
- Reaction score
- 0
My mil has contact with both of the boys,Tyler sleeps over every Wednesday and shel look after zack whenever we want her 2!
She hasn't always been like this though about a year and half ago shed see Tyler about once a month even though she didn't live far! I wanted Tyler to have a bond with his granny so we decided that he'd go there every Wednesday!
Zack will start going there on Wednesdays when fil isn't in work just for a few hours
She hasn't always been like this though about a year and half ago shed see Tyler about once a month even though she didn't live far! I wanted Tyler to have a bond with his granny so we decided that he'd go there every Wednesday!
Zack will start going there on Wednesdays when fil isn't in work just for a few hours
~KACI~
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Apr 1, 2008
- Messages
- 9,983
- Reaction score
- 0
She did have contact until OH's sis had her LO (who lives round the corner from her in York, we live n.wales )
Since then she has never sent birthday card's she did send money across to my account but i'd rather she sent a card
Last time she saw or spoke to the children was over a year ago. Its a shame really as Kieran and Paige haven't got my mum as she passed when i was little. I'm just grateful that my dad adores them and more then makes up for her not being around
Since then she has never sent birthday card's she did send money across to my account but i'd rather she sent a card
Last time she saw or spoke to the children was over a year ago. Its a shame really as Kieran and Paige haven't got my mum as she passed when i was little. I'm just grateful that my dad adores them and more then makes up for her not being around
Similar threads
Users who are viewing this thread
Members online
No members online now.
