Dont know what to do

Discussion in 'Waiting To Try' started by AutumnRose, Apr 27, 2009.

  1. AutumnRose

    AutumnRose Guest

    Me and OH still dont know if we should settle here in UK or settle in his country in US or wait until we are both old enough for me to sponsor him to live here. What would you do based on these circumstances.

    We both wait 3 years until we are both 21 for us to marry and settle here(UK).

    OR

    We both live in separate countries for 3 years and we will visit each other every couple of months. Hopefully I would be pregnant or have had baby so will take him/her too.

    OR

    We both marry here and settle in US but it would take a year + to process visa. Also, i wouldnt have family there just my Husband and nobody to help with childcare if i go back to work.

    Its already decided that we will be TTC in Dec this year, since i just have this terrible feeling it will take me at least a year to get pregnant and i dont want to waste time.:blush:
     
  2. bunnyg82

    bunnyg82 Mum to 2 gorgeous boys

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    oooh decisions decisions!! Unfortunately we cannot make the decision for you, but the one thing I will say is that I think it'd be incredibly difficult for you to have a baby and not be together. I guess it wouldn't actually be much different to an army wive situation but I think you have to be a certain type of person to cope with that - I know it's certainly not something I could or would want to cope with!

    I think the best thing for you to do is write a pros and cons list for each of the situations and then talk through those and see which one fits best with you xx
     
  3. Pinkgirl

    Pinkgirl Well-Known Member

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    Good Idea Bunny, Whats your heart saying?
     
  4. welshlass

    welshlass Well-Known Member

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  5. Kirstin

    Kirstin Well-Known Member

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    I would chose the US as I hate england.
     
  6. AutumnRose

    AutumnRose Guest

    Part of me wants to live in US since it will be easier and we wont have to wait 3 years.
    Then another part of me wants to stay here because my family is here. So confusing!
     
  7. Berniep

    Berniep Well-Known Member

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    I'm a RAF wife and we lived 11 hours away from my family when i had our first baby and it was difficult but i coped and soon got used to that way of life and when my hubby went away on tours i had to cope without him or my family and i coped again although i think i missed my hubby more than my family if that makes sense i love my family to bits but when its someone your in love with and you have a baby/children together its so hard to be apart. Its a difficult decision that only you 2 can make good luck x
     
  8. Amygdala

    Amygdala Well-Known Member

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    How does your OH feel about this? Would he be ok with having a child and not living in the same country as his son/daughter? To be honest, I definately would wait until you can both live in the same country (whichever is quicker or better for you). You're both still very young and you can still be young parents at 21. I can understand that you want a baby now but I think you have to consider what's best for your prospective child as well. And if there's a choice it's just so much better for a baby if it has both parents to look after it and to bond with. Of course that's not always possible but in your case it's only a matter of time. And I think the experience of having a child together will be so much better for you as a couple if you can share it.
     

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