Don't know what to do

[hattie_ann]

Hi

I am a newbie on here but in Feb 2009 I miscarried after 12 weeks. I then found out that I had gall stones and although I was in a lot of pain they wouldn't operate straight away until I lost some weight. I managed to lose some but now I am worried that although my husband and I are now TTC I haven't lost enough weight and I am only going to end up losing again or not be able to conceive at all as I have poly cycstic ovaries.

Even though it is a year and a half ago that it happened I am still experiencing difficult days especially as I have just found out that my sister is expecting. My family seem to think I should be over it all now and be able to talk freely about babies etc. but I just can't.

Any advice? Thanks

 

[shelly793]

Hi, I am new to this forum also. I had a mc in aug 09 and eventhough it has been over a year it is still very hard to talk about babies or be arround preg women. We had been trying for 5+ yrs when I finally gave up, then out of the blue I missed my period but didn't think much of it, then I got my BFP and was in shock!!!! I went in for my first ck-up on aug 7h and there was no heart beat I lost the baby @ 10wks. We have been trying for the past 8months and nothing my obgyn says it is b/c of the PCOS and endometriosis. I am going in to have a procedure on the27th to remove the lesions so hopefully that will help. Sorry for this long story, back to my point, you may want to talk to your dr about metformin, they perscribe it for PCOS and it can also help you loose weight and get preggo. I hope this helps and I wish you all the luck in the world!!!!

 

[heart tree]

Hi ladies. I'm so sorry for both of your losses. No one should have to endure this pain. Hattie ann, you conceived once. There is nothing saying you won't conceive again. It might take a little longer for you, but I know many women on this site who carry extra weight and who have pcos and are pregnant. There is a PCOS thread. I'll find it for you and post it. As for your family, I've found that most people just don't understand the grief that we endure after a miscarriage. People expect us to move on. They don't realize that losing a pregnancy is one of the most traumatic events we'll ever endure. No one would expect someone to be over losing their child. I'm not sure why society expects any different from someone who loses a child in utero. Have you talked to your family about your grief and fears? Maybe you have masked it and they don't realize how much you are still hurting. If you have tried to talk to them and have fallen on deaf ears, maybe you could try writing a letter expressing your feelings. You might want to mention that while they should be excited about your sister, you also need some sensitivity and empathy from them.

Clw, good luck on your procedure. I hope it puts you on the path to your next BFP very soon.

Good luck to you both. You both deserve a sticky bean very soon. xoxo

 

[heart tree]

Here is the link to the PCOS thread: https://www.babyandbump.com/ttc-after-loss/261685-ttcal-pcos-thread.html

 

[hattie_ann]

Thank you both for your replies. Just by reading what you have said has helped immensely and I feel better for taking the plunge and writing a post - something I didn't think would help but definitely has. I will keep trying and reading on here

P.S. thanks for the link and advice on metformin.

 

[sugarlove]

Sorry for your loss. I totally get just how devastating a mc can be. People just don't understand sometimes.

My Mum recently said that I hadn't known I was pg for that long when I mc, as if that makes it loads better. I just gritted my teeth, and said nothing.

People don't seem to realise that when you get pg, you jump ahead and imagine the baby and start making all these plans, and then it's snatched away from you. I often think it's almost more painful now, as more months have gone by without a BFP that I so desperately want.

Here's to us all getting our BFP's soon
x