Don't know what to do !!!

Discussion in 'Baby Club' started by Natty_babez, Jun 6, 2011.

  1. Natty_babez

    Natty_babez Alexa-Jayne & Daisy-Mae

    Joined:
    Jan 5, 2010
    Messages:
    942
    Likes Received:
    0
    I really need some advice ladies i'm at my wits end and just don't know what to do anymore !!

    In the first week or so that Alexa was born my oh was excellent he did all the housework all the cooking and did most of the night feeds so that i could concentrate on getting some sleep ready for when he went back to work i also suffered 2nd degree tears so they were quite painful so he did most things as it was quite uncomfortable for me :flower: BUT NOW everything has changed !!!

    He never does nappy changes, never makes up her bottles, will only feed herif i ask him to, he comes home from work and goes straight for a nap and i don't mean an hour i mean a good 2 so by the time he is up she has been put in her jim jams and is having her bottle before i put her in her moses basket for bed. He will only have her if i ask him to and then he doesn't really do much just sits with her and if she starts to cry he will shove her dummy in her mouth !!! and the one thing that most annoys me is the night time he NEVER does a night time feed no matter how many times i ask him to and tell him how much i struggle with them. I understand he is at work and up early during the week but he has no exscuse at the weekend but he still wont do it. She wont settle in our room so for the past 6 weeks i have been sleeping on the couch while he is upstairs (he has offered it to be the other way round but luckily our couch is really comfy) so at night when he has had enough he grabs his beer and of he goes upto bed to watch the tv AND (this is the bit that grates on me the most) CLOSES THE BEDROOM DOOR SO HE CAN'T HEAR ALEXA CRYING ARRGGGHHH !!

    We have been bickering and arguing since he came back from working away last week and whenever i bring up the fact that i NEVER have time to myself he doesn't even entertain the subject i think he knows he's in the wrong with what he is doing but also isn't prepared to change anything !! Its getting to the point now were i feel i am just doing this on my own and i am slowly resenting everything he does i'd even go as far as to say i have thought about just leaving him as i already feel like i'm on my own with her :cry: I keep thinking i need to sit down with him and just have chat and tell him exactly how i feel but i don't think it will change anything. In the early days when he stopped doing the night time feeds he admitted he knew he wasn't being fair on me but here i am a few more weeks down the line and its not changed anything. Do i take the plunge and just tell him i've had enough !!! Arrgghhh really don't know what to do !! I knew the first few months were gonna be hard but nothing has been what i expected so far

    Any advice is much appreciated :flower:

    xxx
     
  2. Babeonthego

    Babeonthego Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 16, 2010
    Messages:
    803
    Likes Received:
    0
    Hey hun,

    Personally if it was me Id be outta there. Id have a chat with him first and if nothing changes I would go. I know it seems harsh but i totally believe in 50, 50 in a relationship. hope things get better
     
  3. Natty_babez

    Natty_babez Alexa-Jayne & Daisy-Mae

    Joined:
    Jan 5, 2010
    Messages:
    942
    Likes Received:
    0
    Thanks hun i am kind of leaning that way because at the moment its not fair on me or Alexa and he certainly isn't taking all the credit for her when he does nothing !!!

    xxx
     
  4. whoops

    whoops Just me and my LO

    Joined:
    May 18, 2010
    Messages:
    2,941
    Likes Received:
    0
    I think you need to sit down and tell him exactly what you're thinking - that you're considering walking out if he doesn't start pulling his weight. It might be the shock he needs to get his act together.

    It might be that he just doesn't know how to interact with her - she's only about 6 weeks old, right? You might find he gets better once she's smiling more and laughing, and starting to babble and recognise people.
     
  5. Natty_babez

    Natty_babez Alexa-Jayne & Daisy-Mae

    Joined:
    Jan 5, 2010
    Messages:
    942
    Likes Received:
    0
    Well I spoke to him once he got home from work n at first it seemed like it was going into an argument apparently he works all day n I stay at home n sit on my arse !!! However he then fed Alexa n said he will have her this weekend for her night time feeds n has admitted that he knows he is selfish so I suppose I've done all I can now I'll just have to see if he follows thru with what he's said. I told him I loved him but since having Alexa I have seen a different selfish side to him which is making me want to leave n he seemed shocked by me saying that so hopefully this was the shock he needed but only time will tell. If it goes back to the way it was tho I am going to leave n atleast I can say I tried for our baby girl

    xxx
     
  6. NuKe

    NuKe mummy to 2 gorgeous girls

    Joined:
    Apr 21, 2009
    Messages:
    13,765
    Likes Received:
    0
    is there anyone he DOES listen to? for example his mum or a friend who could talk to him and get him to buck up his ideas? i agree with whoops tho, at that age theres not much interacting going on, he might be better once he is getting babbles etc. if he doesnt change id be outta there!
     
  7. Natty_babez

    Natty_babez Alexa-Jayne & Daisy-Mae

    Joined:
    Jan 5, 2010
    Messages:
    942
    Likes Received:
    0
    He seems to listen to one of his sisters n even she has tried light heartedly to tell him to pull his weight more but he just seems to let it all go over his head. I do think he knows he's in the wrong but he needs to change that now before it's to late.

    Xxx
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice