Don't want to be a SAHM...feel awful about it

[Mrs Doddy]

I've loved being off but part of me needs the old me back - I may change my mind when I get there tho lol

 

[mumoffive]

What about part time/job share? You can have the best of both worlds. I like the idea of being a SAHM but tbh, not sure that if i were to do it, i would really want that full time. I think in reality i might feel restless and feel the need to be doing something away from the children. I also feel really strongly that i want to be there for my children and for me, i dont want others to bring my kids up. I am in the very fortunate position of sharing the childcare with my dh as he works opposite shifts so even although i go back to work at the end of October, he will watch them and vice versa. Dont beat yourself up about it. You need to be happy too. x

 

[oliviarose]

Don't feel guilty about it.

I am the opposite, I return to work the middle of next month and I really don't want to go back. I would love to be a SAHM, but finances won't let me I would love to want to go back to work, it would make it all so much easier.

 

[Mummy2onexx]

your not alone i don't want to be a SAHM either i know this sounds awful but i'm bored and feeling like my brain is turning to mush! i start college in september for 2 days a week and i cant wait! i love being at home with my baby but i'm not one who can sit inside and do nothing, because im only 18 i've never worked and i cant wait to get a career as i want to be a paramedic which i'm going to try and achieve whilst being the best mum to LO as i can, my OH works full time aswell so i want to give her a good work ethnic like my family gave me x

 

[andbabymakes3]

You shouldn't feel guilty at all, doesn't make you less of a mummy, we're all different.

I went back to work part time when Holly was about 3 weeks old (working from home though, and only about 10 hours a week) and gradually built it up to now being full time (although Holly is only in nursery part time, I do quite a bit of work of an evening when she is asleep) (I'm self employed and needed to keep my business going so only actually had about 6 weeks full maternity leave).

Working keeps my brain stimulated, I love my business and I think (for me personally) it's important to show Holly the importance of hard work and financial independence.

Plus, she absolutely loves nursery - they are wonderful and adore her (as they do all of the children).

Do what works for you and what makes you happy - as much of a cliche as it is, happy mummy=happy baby.

 

[punk_pig]

I'm supposed to be going back to Uni in September part time, then work in Jan part time (so full time away from LO) but I feel LO is too young at the moment and I'm still breast feeding BUT part of me wishes ferverently that the academic year started just just two months later than it does cos she'd be more settled in to solid food etc and I know I'm not cut out to be full time SAHM!!

Having looked at day care for January when I'll be back at work I'm actually starting to wonder if she'd be better off going there earlier - they know what they are doing, have planned activities, healthy food cooked fresh etc. etc. I feel like I'm nowhere near that good at looking after LO....

I just wish I could do Uni without having to go back to work yet as I could cope with part time SAH and part time in Uni but I cant afford to give up my job in these difficult times - it is a permanent contract! So looks like I'm deferring Uni for yet another year.

 

[minkymoo]

I'm glad you posted as I feel the same way. I'm taking 12 months but am kind of looking forward to going back to work. I was 37 when I had LO and worked full time for 21 years so it's been a massive change.

Like others I feel as though my brain is turning to mush, I feel very isolated and somedays I struggle with the 'playing' side of being a mum as it's never been something I've done and I run out of things to do everyday. In that respect I figure as she grows she'll be better off with people trained in child development and mixing with other children (she will be an only child for the foreseeable future). My sister didn't mix her son with other children until he was 3 and frankly, he's a brat. Doesn't mean the same for all children though!

I like to earn my own money too, nothing makes me feel lower than 'asking' my OH for spending money.

The downside of course is that we will probably only get an hour or so with LO after work and before bed but we will make up for it at weekends.

 

[aliss]

I can't work right now but I'm going back to school (hopefully) in September for 2x a week... nice morning coffee with other adults Can't wait.

 

[Mum2b_Claire]

I won't be able to work after no2 is born until he/she is at least 3, it's not a choice I'm 100% sure I would make if I did have the choice (I won't - we'd be worse off financially if I worked due to childcare and travel costs) but i do feel it is right one overall. While I don't enjoy my job as such I will miss the time to be 'me', I think, but will gain loads as well, more freedom, no rushing about, more time with the children, and loads more.

Totally and utterly an 'each to their own' issue!

 

[charlotte-xo]

exactly what mum2bclaire said. Everyones different hun, some want to stay at home and some want to go back to work. It doesnt make you any less of a mum or love your LO less.
Dont feel guilty.

 

[NOMORENUMBERS]

do not feel bad! i stay at home most of the time but have a part time job 1 we need the money and 2 i very quickly realised that it was actually easier to go to work than look after children (that blew the whole who does more arguement out the water as dh and i did the same job lol) it is good to have some time out the house. also in these days you never know what is round the corner and a second income may be completely essential to get by! an up to date and full cv will help you more to get a job when required even if its a couple of days a week worth of experience!

 

[msmissa]

You guys are awesome. Thank you! I want to be better off financially even tho we're just fine now, and I want that adult interaction. So glad I'm not alone in the needing that adult conversation