Hey Laura, I'm with you!
I got that negative on the first cycle… and like you Juniperjan I got an early AF! AF came on CD 25 and I have notoriously long cycles…. I've never had a cycle that short in all of my life (that I can remember really!) and certainly not since I've been tracking (over a year)… it seemed so cruel.
I spent the day googling implantation bleeding, and was totally convinced that's what I had as I'd never had AF then before! It was meant to be I thought, we got it. But then of course I woke up to full blown witch-face. I was devastated. But I still got a HPT and tested because I googled and some people get a BFP despite having bleeding! Alas. I am not one of those fortunate people. I'm just someone that clutches on to straws of hope! I feel quite embarrassed about how positive I was and how confident I was. I was so hopeful and confident I was pregnant throughout my TWW and then it was cut short.
I really lost the plot on Friday night. I ate ice cream (I don't do this anymore since getting healthy!) and I went to bed early, I didn't really talk much to OH apart from being grumpy. I just couldn't "do it" - be happy, be smiley, when internally my plans were all squashed!
I know it sounds extreme but I'm so desperate to be pregnant and have a baby. I am getting passed by, all my friends are having babies and I am left here alone.