Driving myself mad playing the waiting game - help!!

[sarah55]

Hi there ladies,

First let me tell you how all your posts have helped me through what could have been a very dark time - its so good to know that there are other people out there experiencing the same thing as me and that what happened is not that uncommon.

So I had an ERPC just under 3 weeks ago - I was absolutely gutted. Mentally was preparing to leave work etc and then all my dreams were shattered in a minute- just so unfair

So my DH and I are keen to start trying straight away (even though doc said to wait until after 1 AF) as it seems the right thing to do and I feel ready. I am going mad as I am still getting a BFP on my pregnancy tests, even though I know its the HCG levels still getting out of my system. I just want to get a BFN and then I can start TTC and hopefully this time I will be lucky.

I guess my question, to anyone out there, is how long did you wait before TTC and how long did it take for your HCG levels to drop back to below 5??

This waiting game is making me crazy and its all I can think about - help!!

xx

 

[sarahjane10]

Hi Sarah
The waiting game is soooo horrid i had a mc in may and i am still ttc, it is heart breaking, just wont to let you now we are all felling that way. xx

 

[ncmommy]

I'm so sorry for your loss!

With my last mc it went down rather quickly and I got AF a little than 4 weeks after it. My other 2 though it took my body a little longer to bounce back. It really does vary in everyone.

After my first mc we waited a while and after my second we started right away. With my third I had to wait as I was going through testing. If you and your OH are ready then go for it. I hope that your levels go down more quickly and that you get your sticky bean soon!

 

[sarah55]

Thank you Sarah Jane, I wish you all the very best luck xx

 

[Leanne020807]

sorry for your loss I started ttc after my first cycle so about 4 weeks after as the doctor ordered. After a few days my tests were negative. I wish you all the luck ttc x

 

[sarah55]

Thanks guys, these posts are really helping. Its mad though, the different advice I have been given from different doctors as to when to start TTC - I just feel ready so going to see what happens xx

 

[grandbleu]

So sorry for your loss

I'm in the midst of TTC now...tried half heartedly after my 1st cycle but trying hard now on my 2nd cycle.

It's best to wait one cycle even though it's hard. My first cycle was weird...now I'm back to normal completely.

GL

 

[Feisty Fidget]

I started bleeding with mmc about 3 weeks ago, didn't pass the LO until last Monday and I have finally been getting on HPT since Wednesday although I still have a slight on OPK

We jumped back into ttc last Sunday as two midwives advised us this would be fine. I hope you start getting your soon! xxxx

 

[sarah55]

Aaaargghh! Got the mother -in-law staying this weekend, who is now telling me to ditch all scientific products ie OPKs and pregnancy kits and "just let nature take its course!" She has spent the entire night telling me how wrong it is to be relying on getting a BFN, when to me its giving me something to focus on - how can that be wrong?? xx

 

[Amygdala]

Don't listen to her (or to us for that matter)! You are going through this and you need to do what's right for you. The only thing you really need to make sure of is not to BD before a few days (we gave it a week) after you stop bleeding, so you don't risk an infection. Beyond that, you and your DH need to do whatever feels right to you. Another bit of advice though: Try to expect as little as possible. We tried straight after my mmc and I've been having so many symptoms since but all I have to show for them are two cycles of bfns. That's nit to say you won't get pregnant straight away, just try to not symptom spot and bare in mind that a body after a mc is really not reliable. Having said that, I wish you all the luck in the world and a very speedy sticky bfp!

 

[Feisty Fidget]

Until a woman has been in your exact same position it is impossible for them to relate to what you are going through. All of us here have suffered losses but every situation was different and although we may have a better understanding of what you are going through Amygdala is right, we can only offer you advice but it is up to you to do what is right for you.

When people start to grate on me by giving their opinions or advice (usually based on what they have read about miscarriage, not what they have been through) then I just clam up and stop talking about. I responded with one or two word answers and they usually get the hint pretty quickly I don't want to continue!

stray strong x

 

[hopes fading]

Sarah, I'm really sorry for you. I agree with amygdala - you are going through this so whatever it takes for you to get yourself through it is OK. I am sure MIL is trying to help but people who have not shared this experience just do not understand. Take care of yourself and if you want to start trying as soon as you feel physically well, I would go for it. I was advised that most Dr's tell you to wait a cycle as it would be very difficult to date the pregnancy if you went on to conceive straight away.

I am conscious that I may not be posting in the right place; I truly hope not to upset anyone and I apologise if I do...

I had a mmc in Feb 08; I went for a scan at 13 weeks to find the pregnancy had stopped developing at 5 weeks. I had always felt strongly that all as not well. Last Friday I finally got a BFP after taking clomid; I don't know if it was the previous pregnancy that caused it but I hadn't been ovulating. I am 5 weeks tomorrow but 2 days ago, all my symptoms stopped. I didn't have many anyway, mostly sore nipples and occasional light headedness if I hadn't eaten for a while. I am now convinced the pregnancy has ended already but I can't have a scan for aothe 2 weeks (apparently there is no point as it wouldn't show much)? I have asked at a private clinic about a quantitative blood test to confirm the HCG levels are as they should be but was told that this test is not always accurate so they wouldn't recommend it.

Ladies, my question to all of you is did your symptoms disappear before your m/c? Anyone have any views on scans earlier than 7 weeks or HCG blood tests?

I really hope you don't mind me posting here but I'm not sure where else to go.

Hopes. X

 

[grandbleu]

The only symptom that disappeared for me was that I had all day stomach aches from 6 weeks to 7 weeks and then suddenly I felt great from then on. I miscarried at exactly 12 weeks but I think I lost the baby at 7 weeks . I still had "bigger" boobs and soreness and I had a tiny bump but maybe it was just bloating . I never had a scan so I don't know for sure but I did lose that symptom.

I hope for your sake that your pregnancy is fine and you will have a healthy baby.

 

[Feisty Fidget]

It is normal for symptoms to come and go, but the main thing that I worried about during my pregnancy was the fact that I seemed to have so little of them!

I had a mmc at almost 10 weeks but baba only measured 5/6 BUT I had my first bout of morning sickness at almost 9 weeks so it just goes to show that symptoms aren't an accurate gage for pregnancy symptoms. You could have an early scan at EPU and they would take measurements then in a weeks time go back and they could check the measurements have increased? That is what they did for us.

I really hope that all is well

 

[sarah55]

Fiesty fidget, you are so right! I ended up just giving one word answers and looking completely blank, definitely think MIL has got the message Will just go ahead and do what I think is right.......

Hopes fading, I can only tell you what happened to me; in that I only ever experienced any syptoms (for me it was nausea) for about the first four weeks. After that I had nothing, not a single thing, but to be honest always had a seed of doubt that this pregnancy was never going to turn out right. I have two other friends who are also pregnant and one has every sypmtom in the book and the other has sailed through with not a single pregnancy symptom, both of which look like they are going to have successful pregnancies. So I guess it just shows everyone is totally different and I guess there is no sure way of knowing.

As for the early scans, you can ask to be refered to the EPU by your doctor. I went there as I had light bleeding and went there at 4 weeks (they thought I was 6 weeks). It was too early to see anything and they were a bit bewildered as to why I had even been sent so early on in my pregnancy. According to them you will not be able to see anything useful until at least 6 weeks, which in my case was true, as sure enough when we returned two agonisingly long weeks later we saw the LO and its heartbeat - sadly though it must have stopped growing the very next week

I can only think to ask your DR to do some bloods and be re-tested in a weeks time to see if the HCG levels have gone up or down. Either option is going to mean a wait to get any results and so you must stay strong and try to stay positive.

Please do let me know how you get on and always here if you want to chat


Sx

 

[hopes fading]

Thanks ladies, your responses are all helpful. Sarah, I was advised against the blood test as it seems (if I understood correctly) that in 15% of cases it may tell you the HCG levels are too low - but in actual fact the pregnancy will continue normally and in 15% of cases it may tell you that the HCG levels are fine, when in fact the pregnancy has already ended. However, after consideration, I think that means there is an 85% chance that the results are correct and so I might go for it? I took anothe CB Digi this morning, I wondered if it would take me from 1-2 weeks to 2-3 weeks (still not a really accurate gage but better than nothing)? anyway, it failed! I am distressed and will be ringing CB to complain!

I hope that those with very recent losses are as well as can be expected and those who have had more time to heal, are in a better place and TTC plans are underway & going well.

Hopes. X

 

[hippylittlej]

Sorry for your loss.

We had a MC in August and started TCC straight away, still no luck yet. I just trust it will happen when the time is right.

I'd say do what feels right for you and good luck. x

 

[sarah55]

You are so like me, I must have done a CB digi test nearly once a week since getting my first BFP, to see if the conception date kept increasing, as I was so sure something was wrong. So, it might not be the best way to check if everything is going ok, but it sure as hell made me feel better when the conception dates did match and carried on increasing - also it gave me something to do, instead of feeling a bit helpless. If you can wait a bit longer then a scan at 6 weeks may well be able to provide you with the answers you need.

Sxx: