Drug addicted babies? Should they go straight into care?

[mrsraggle]

On my last night in the hospital after Eloise's birth I shared the ward with a heroine user (taking prescribed methadone during pregnancy).

She refused to feed her baby because she was too tired. Had the windows wide open and the baby just wearing a vest because she'd brought nothing for her with her. In the morning, her partner arrived shouting down the corridor, 3 hours late, obviously drugged to his eye balls. They spent the rest of the day running downstairs at every opportunity for a cigarette leaving their baby on her own, not even asking me to keep an eye on her, though of course I did. I had my own baby, my own baby blues, and I was cuddling this newborn whose mommy preferred to disappear off for a fag.

The boyfriend hadn't bought any clean clothes to the hospital for the mum. In fact he actually called someone, I presume a friend, and asked her to bring a pair of her knickers for the mum to wear... not go out and buy a packet... actually bring her own.

He was late because the landlord of his home had come round that morning to demolish one whole wall! This baby had no home to go to... no clothes... and most of the day, no parents!

Her mum and dad were clearly unfit even though the mum was having methadone. Social Services came immediately and discussed the possibility of the baby being taken away right there on the ward. I heard it all and it was heartbreaking. The mum really felt that she could care for the baby, and maybe she could've, but the dad couldn't. No way.

I asked to be discharged as it was all too distressing for me, dealing with my own blues and failing to BF. I felt awful walking out with my baby knowing that girl was probably going home without hers.

I think of that baby every day, without fail.

(Sorry, bit long there).

 

[mrsraggle]

On my last night in the hospital after Eloise's birth I shared the ward with a heroine user (taking prescribed methadone during pregnancy).

She refused to feed her baby because she was too tired. Had the windows wide open and the baby just wearing a vest because she'd brought nothing for her with her. In the morning, her partner arrived shouting down the corridor, 3 hours late, obviously drugged to his eye balls. They spent the rest of the day running downstairs at every opportunity for a cigarette leaving their baby on her own, not even asking me to keep an eye on her, though of course I did. I had my own baby, my own baby blues, and I was cuddling this newborn whose mommy preferred to disappear off for a fag.

The boyfriend hadn't bought any clean clothes to the hospital for the mum. In fact he actually called someone, I presume a friend, and asked her to bring a pair of her knickers for the mum to wear... not go out and buy a packet... actually bring her own.

He was late because the landlord of his home had come round that morning to demolish one whole wall! This baby had no home to go to... no clothes... and most of the day, no parents!

Her mum and dad were clearly unfit even though the mum was having methadone. Social Services came immediately and discussed the possibility of the baby being taken away right there on the ward. I heard it all and it was heartbreaking. The mum really felt that she could care for the baby, and maybe she could've, but the dad couldn't. No way.

I asked to be discharged as it was all too distressing for me, dealing with my own blues and failing to BF. I felt awful walking out with my baby knowing that girl was probably going home without hers.

I think of that baby every day, without fail.

(Sorry, bit long there).

 

[flubdub]

On my last night in the hospital after Eloise's birth I shared the ward with a heroine user (taking prescribed methadone during pregnancy).

She refused to feed her baby because she was too tired. Had the windows wide open and the baby just wearing a vest because she'd brought nothing for her with her. In the morning, her partner arrived shouting down the corridor, 3 hours late, obviously drugged to his eye balls. They spent the rest of the day running downstairs at every opportunity for a cigarette leaving their baby on her own, not even asking me to keep an eye on her, though of course I did. I had my own baby, my own baby blues, and I was cuddling this newborn whose mommy preferred to disappear off for a fag.

The boyfriend hadn't bought any clean clothes to the hospital for the mum. In fact he actually called someone, I presume a friend, and asked her to bring a pair of her knickers for the mum to wear... not go out and buy a packet... actually bring her own.

He was late because the landlord of his home had come round that morning to demolish one whole wall! This baby had no home to go to... no clothes... and most of the day, no parents!

Her mum and dad were clearly unfit even though the mum was having methadone. Social Services came immediately and discussed the possibility of the baby being taken away right there on the ward. I heard it all and it was heartbreaking. The mum really felt that she could care for the baby, and maybe she could've, but the dad couldn't. No way.

I asked to be discharged as it was all too distressing for me, dealing with my own blues and failing to BF. I felt awful walking out with my baby knowing that girl was probably going home without hers.

I think of that baby every day, without fail.

(Sorry, bit long there).

These people shouldnt be allowed kids. They just shouldnt. This is the UK. If a child has no clothes, no home and no parents arms to cuddle up in, then I am ashamed of this country. Do you know the outcome? Was the baby addicted?
I can only hope that baby was taken straight away. Im sorry, but I do.
I also think these people should be forced to have the implant or something similar, to stop it happening again until they turn their life around.
So sad.

 

[Eve]

Yes they should. If you do illegal drugs, or abuse prescription drugs, you shouldn't have your children. When I say illegal drugs I am excluding marijuana as the child can't be born addicted to it. I have no sympathy for someone who will knowingly do harsh drugs while pregnant, especially enough to have your poor baby be born addicted. My EX was addicted to heroine. Did needles etc.. (after we split up) and I refused to let him be alone with our child, and only allowed supervised visitation which was very limited.

 

[Kte]

I think if they have continued to abuse throughout their pregnancy then they should have their baby taken away from them. They are not able to look after themselves let alone a drug addicted baby that need extra care, lights are bringter, hunger is more painful etc. . they suffer some awful effects, damage can be done to them internally which can last into adulthood and when they are born they have to be weaned off or go cold turkey, what an awful way to enter the world!

Users should work darn hard to get their baby back, if they want to but they shouldn't be able to go home and then the child end up in care anyway.

 

[tallybee]

I agree that anyone who cannot care for a child (of any age) because of an addiction should not be sent home with a poor baby, however removing children based just on a drugs test is treading on very shaky ground, for reasons I described in previous posts. Support is needed for people with drug problems and only if folk reject that support should drastic measures be resorted to. As someone said above, a life in care is not a bed of roses either

 

[Kte]

Support is needed but they do get it and it is out there. It took my sister over 10 years to get off it, why should a child have to be brought up around all that turmoil? The using, the remission, the behaviour that comes with it all, the neglect. It should be picked up at every antenatal appointment that they are using (or are still uing) and what they are using, and therefore then more action should be taken to assess situations proplerly and impliment plans to help those who want to be helped, especially if someone is known to be a repeat user, so that when the baby is born proper action, guidance and assessments can be made if and when necessary.

I understand life in care is not a bed of roses, I have grown up around a drug abuser and I have witnessed them bringing up children and it's upsetting. My nephews and nice are lucky in that they are now cared for by family as a friends and family foster carer and even they have issues becasue of it all, but I still believe that, even for those who don't have the option of being put back into family, surely care is better than not being looked after by a maternal and/or paternal parent who isn't capable.

 

[Laura2919]

On my last night in the hospital after Eloise's birth I shared the ward with a heroine user (taking prescribed methadone during pregnancy).

She refused to feed her baby because she was too tired. Had the windows wide open and the baby just wearing a vest because she'd brought nothing for her with her. In the morning, her partner arrived shouting down the corridor, 3 hours late, obviously drugged to his eye balls. They spent the rest of the day running downstairs at every opportunity for a cigarette leaving their baby on her own, not even asking me to keep an eye on her, though of course I did. I had my own baby, my own baby blues, and I was cuddling this newborn whose mommy preferred to disappear off for a fag.

The boyfriend hadn't bought any clean clothes to the hospital for the mum. In fact he actually called someone, I presume a friend, and asked her to bring a pair of her knickers for the mum to wear... not go out and buy a packet... actually bring her own.

He was late because the landlord of his home had come round that morning to demolish one whole wall! This baby had no home to go to... no clothes... and most of the day, no parents!

Her mum and dad were clearly unfit even though the mum was having methadone. Social Services came immediately and discussed the possibility of the baby being taken away right there on the ward. I heard it all and it was heartbreaking. The mum really felt that she could care for the baby, and maybe she could've, but the dad couldn't. No way.

I asked to be discharged as it was all too distressing for me, dealing with my own blues and failing to BF. I felt awful walking out with my baby knowing that girl was probably going home without hers.

I think of that baby every day, without fail.

(Sorry, bit long there).

Thats so sad hun

 

[Laura2919]

I think if they are knowingly taking it while pregnant then yes they should have their children taken away. I dont exclude marijuana as I dont know too much about the effects it has and doesnt have but I will exclude fags. I gave up smoking but my sister and my friend both continued, it doesnt have an effect on every child. I know its bad thats why I gave up.

 

[Blah11]

I say no, but they must be kept a VERY close eye on and the parents should have to take regular drug tests. If they dont clean, baby gets taken away It might take seeing their newborn in that state to make them give up.


my friends baby was born with morphine addiction. Different situation as my friend broke her leg very badly when pregnant and needed a good few operations on it. It was still a horrible thing for that p[oor baby to go through and her mum, is racked with guilt

 

[ShanandBoc]

This thread is so sad. But i agree in most instances the baby should be taken away so they can be cared for properly. Poor bubbas. So damn selfish.....

 

[elephant29]

Hmm this is tough.

My cousin who is 3 years older than me (so we were really close growing up) became addicted to heroin at 15/16. She had her first son and brought him up whilst addicted. He saw a lot and it was very very sad.

She went on to have another baby boy who was born very earl (cant remember exactly) and weighed about 2lbs and was addicted to heroin. It was extremely hard to see.

Should he have been taken away? From a personal view point no. My cousin has been free of drugs (completely) for over 8 yrs now and has brought her son up well. he is now fighting fit and you would never know the start he had in life.

It's a hard one because if it hadnt happened in my family I would say definately yes but I've seen it first hand and seen the turn around made so my little cousin would not have been better off in care.

xxx

 

[ShanandBoc]

But if your cousin hadnt turned around where would that child be? I think in that situation where the mother has a history of drug abuse and th child is born dependent then the child should be taken away (perhaps cared for by family) until the mother is clean and you can be certain she will care for her child properly.

So glad to hear she turned her life around tho, good for her!! xx

 

[elephant29]

But if your cousin hadnt turned around where would that child be? I think in that situation where the mother has a history of drug abuse and th child is born dependent then the child should be taken away (perhaps cared for by family) until the mother is clean and you can be certain she will care for her child properly.

So glad to hear she turned her life around tho, good for her!! xx

Yeah exactly why it's a hard one! Thats why if it wasnt in my family my answer would probably have been a lot different. I work with teenage girls who have been abused/addicted to drugs, have parents who are drug addicts/alcoholics etc etc. These girls have spent years in and out of care and sometimes it has not made a blind bit of difference to how they have turned out. Unfortunately the care system is not that great. Children are placed into it but if they still have access to their parents then they will still often be influenced. Also if they are taken away from their parents completely they often rebel due to this and the result is that they end up in a secure setting like where I work. I do realise though that this isnt always the case. I have also seen the almost overwhelming love and devotion kids in care have for their parents whether they be abusers/addicts or whatever, these children just want them to love them which is one of the hardest parts of my job to see.

Thansk hun. My cousin is doing really well. She graduated college and is moving on with her life. She has setback every now and then (not drugs but depression) but she is doing really well considering. My aunt (cousins mum) did actually look after her boys for a while. Not on a permenant basis but she made sure they were looked after.
xxx

 

[ShanandBoc]

Thats awesome and takes alot of inner strength. Its great to hear stories like this