dunno what to do next :(

[carry]

Hello everyone, after a long time of visiting this site and reading a lot about some of your ttc and tww stories etc as a guest I have finally signed up anyways heres my story..

I have been previously married and have 3 kids 17, 14 and 10 with few problems (youngest child was a twin which i mc at 10 weeks) and had an ectopic (10 weeks) after 2nd child but didnt have to lose tube.
Anyways im remarried and ttc with my 2nd husband who has no kids, we are both 37 and desperate for a baby, we were ttc for almost a year and i got my bfp in november with a frer really really faint.. and after several days wasnt much stronger i bought a predictor and got a much stronger line so i felt a little better, however about 9 days after my bfp i began to bleed quite heavily and was understandably devasted as was oh we where having really bad snow at the time and it was late at night so my doctor told me to wait until the following morning (unless was in a lot of pain or bleeding really heavily) before going to the hospital.. i did so the next night and they did a beta hcg.. when i rang for results they said beta was only 19 and it looked like i'd already mc .. they simply said give it another week and if your still getting bfp's come back, what a week of waiting it was it felt like an eternity and my hpt's were getting stronger all the time, so i went back and had another beta.. this time it was reading 597 so it was almost tripling!! I was told everything looked fine although nothing showed on scan, and by my dates should have been around 6 weeks we were overjoyed and i had to go back two days later for another beta and scan as a matter of routine nothing showed up again on scan and then they were suspecting that it could be ectopic because of my history.. the results this time however were totally unexpected my beta had dropped to just 200 .. i really was not expecting this after everything we had been through.. i started to bleed that very night and continued to do so for about a week, then stopped for two days then bled for another 3.. my last bleed was 21st december.. my beta is now back to a non pregnancy state and my oh wants to try again straight away but i dont think i could bear another loss.. although I really don't want to deny my beloved the chance of having his own child... ttc is such an emotional rollercoaster! I know i have rambled a lot but really really wanted to get it all off my chest, thank you to anyone that has taken the time to read all this x

P.s surprising that after a week of bfp's my beta was only 19 frer and predictor must have been picking up miniscule hcg leverls!

 

[croydongirl]

I have had some crazy hcg levels. with a bfp my blood hcg only tested at 9, then it dropped to 6.2 and we miscarried a few days later, but two weeks later I wanted to be sure it was all gone so did another hpt which had a strong line. Blood tested at 17. Still really low but they have no idea why it went back up. A week later it dropped to 4 (a negative level). They told us we could try again next month. That was our fourth m/c in a year so I totally understand that you are cautious. Perhaps wait a little while. I have felt very different after each m/c sometimes I feel ready to try again right away and other times I need to wait.It's totally normal, and I am sure your hubby will understand.

 

[carry]

Thanks for your input croydongirl x

 

[wannabe mam]

Hi Carry,
So sorry for all that you went through, you are so right ttc is the biggest emotional rollercoaster I think I will ever be on in my life! It is a difficult situation for you as you have 3 kids but you want a child with your partner who has none. It is up to you really how much more of this you can take? Even the general ttc battle wears is stressful without mourning a loss. Would your partner come to terms with you not having kids? I hope thimgs work out for you hun, good luck xxx

 

[shelleney]

Hi Carry.
sorry to hear about all of your losses.
i hope you and your husband have a happy future together, whatever you decide to do
xx

 

[carry]

guess what girls... I think mother nature may just have decided for me... I got two BPF'S today (ones a squinter but the 2nd is slightly stronger) with predictors!! I'm in shock.. theres a little voice in my head shouingt it could be residual hormones from your MC .. but then theres another (saner) part of me thats saying it has to be a new pregnancy as I have already had a few negatives after the MC with predictors?? (had been doing them regularly because i was getting so many beta counts). last negative was about 2 weeks ago... aaaagh I'm going crazy here.. any thoughts??.. miscarriage was approx 12th dec give or take a few days x

 

[shelleney]

CONGRATULATIONS CARRY!!!
it sounds like a new pregnancy to me, but id go to your GP for a blood test, just in case.
Good luck!
xx

 

[croydongirl]

I really hope its a new pregnancy, but you should go and get a blood test because your betas were a bit funny last time.
Then you can have some peace of mind to watch it rising properly.
I am only being cautious because it was 2 weeks after I got my level 6 hcg that for some reason mine rose and I got bfp's again.

Let us know, and I am keeping everything crossed for you - how many dpo would you have been, when did you ovulate post m/c?

 

[babysimpson]

Just read this thread and didn't want to run. I agree that you feel different after each one and can only make a decision based who are you are feeling at that time. It sounds like you may have caught again after your m/c and that this is a new pregnancy (hope it is) but to be on the safe side, get it checked out.

 

[croydongirl]

Are you test getting darker? I really hope you have a sticky bean outcome!
I was just curious when you said you were getting positives with predictors what that meant? Are you getting faint lines with OPK's?

 

[missmayhem]

i hope you get your sticky bean hunny

 

[carry]

sorry for such a delay in replying girls, internets playing up plus had to work flat out last week covering shifts, one of the girls who works with me was off with swine flu!!

Anyways.. last time I was on here was tuesday of last week I think, I rang the hospital on tuesday evening told them what was happening and was brought in for hcg beta on the wednesday morning, it was 32.. which as you all know meant nothing until the 2nd set got that on friday and the waiting was an eternity.. the results where 75!!! So it is indeed a new pregnancy I'm in shock.. how quick was that!! They said they were happy enough with beta results and just to take it easy (have booked this week off work) and they have me scheduled for an early scan on mon 24th at 3pm which would be 10 days from last beta.. I'm freaking out though because of the miscarriage.. please god everything goes well this time (fx) ... i'll be sure to keep you all updated x

 

[carry]

In answer to your question croydon girl.. predictors are early pregnancy tests that measure from 12.5 hcg .. it says on the leaflet any line no matter how faint that comes up within half an hour is a positive.. I love these tests I have never ever had an evap or false positive.. if theres any sorta line your preggo and thats that lol.. I have no idea when I ovulated but going by beta numbers I would say I was only around 9 or 10 dpo when got first positive (last tuesday) so would say ovulated around the 31st december.. got date of MC confirmed at hospital and they said it was 8th december ... x

 

[shelleney]

CONGRATULATIONS!
Take it easy, and I hope this baby sticks.
Good luck to you
xx

 

[croydongirl]

Wishing you all the best. Take a deep breath, and enjoy as much as you can. I know its hard but I really hope that this IS you sticky bean!!!!! Hope so much to be joining you soon in a happy and healthy 9 months!

 

[babysimpson]

Congrats!!! Just takes things easy and I really hope this one sticks xxx

 

[LiSa2010]

congrats!!!

baby and sticky glue!!!

 

[carry]

Just a little update.. I went for early scan on monday (five weeks one day) I was soo nervous and preparing for worst as i'd had a niggly pain in my right side (no bleeding or anything tho) I think I was more or less afraid to get excited mainly because of my MC being so recent... and straight away they were able to find a 5mm sac no yolk sac or embyro as yet but which apparantly is spot on for my dates whooo-hoo... the Dr was so nice and congratulated me which felt so so good.. he is bringing me back next thursday for another scan where he said we should see the heartbeat then and thus should reassure us that everything is indeed fine.. as i'm still so apprehensive.. please pray for us x

 

[Reb S]

Carry, very best of luck! Hope this is a sticky bean! xx

 

[shelleney]

Oh Carry.
Thats wonderful news!
Stay positive, Hun.
Good luck for next weeks scan. Hope you see the heartbeat.
Keep us posted
xx