Early 30's TTC #1

[readyORnot]

MrsP I was bloated from the very begining but it started to turn into real bump around 9 or 10 weeks for me.

 

[rosababy]

SB, I'm so sorry. Will you get testing done to see why so many mc? I am praying that you will have your forever baby soon.

 

[MrsPTTC]

Ooh that's quite early readyornot x

 

[Crumbs]

I'm thinking of you today, Soleil Breeze

 

[mrsmax]

SB - thinking of you today. You are totally doing the right and brave thing. It seems like it will never happen, but I think the lesson from BnB is that it will happen. For some horrible reason some paths are (a lot!!) longer than others, but there is usually a baby or two at the end of it.

sending you lots of love today

 

[readyORnot]

thinking of you today Soleil

 

[MsJMouse]

Thinking of you SB.: hugs:

 

[MsJMouse]

MrsPttc - I had some bloat early on - couldn't fit my work pants then a week later it was less and I could fit them again. I think I am just starting to get a bump. The thing I am finding is that by the end of the day I feel like my stomach is in my lungs - all squished up and I am wondering if it is cause I haven't really popped yet. I have a job where I sit all day.

 

[MrsPTTC]

Me too MsJ I'm sitting all day and I think it'll be quite hard with a big bump. Funny you should say your bloat went after a week as mine has also gone down a bit now!

Soleil, I hope you are ok after yesterday. Take care hunni

x

 

[Crumbs]

Hi ladies, I'm popping in to ask for your positive thoughts and good vibes. I've been having a hard time recovering, I was diagnosed with a uterine infection and have been taking antibiotics but it doesn't seem to be working and have had a fever. I just feel miserable. It's not only exhausting but so difficult when trying to keep up with a newborn. DH's been trying to help but he can only do so much.

I'll be calling my doctor first thing on Monday, but just needed some support. Going to the emergency room doesn't work here. I was already told to go before but when I was there, the priority is so low that I would have spent all night there - and all the nurses agreed to just wait until the next day to make an appointment. Opposite of what the hotline told me on the phone. This happened when I first found out about the infection so I know it'll be the same if I call again after hours.

Please keep me in your thoughts. I really hope I can get better soon.

 

[readyORnot]

sorry you're having a hard time crumbs, I'm thinking of you and hope you get sorted out soon.

My early pregnancy bloat never went away. I just went straight from bloat to bump.

 

[mrsmax]

Crumbs - poor you. I hope they sort you out soon hon - horrid with a newborn to care for xx

 

[MrsPTTC]

Aww crumbs! Hope you get well soon sweetie, thinking of you x

 

[Soleil Breeze]

So it went smoothly. I started to cry once I was on the table. "This isn't the way this baby was opposed to come out..." and that was my last memory (they decided to knock me out right then and there!). I had no bleeding afterwards; a little on Sun. and today I am counting it as CD 1 (sigh...). It's like a light to moderate flow now. There goes the lining that tried to grow a baby...

I'm not a religious person, but last week I went to this place called Unity and went again yesterday. They're a pretty positive group of people and I need some of that right now (a girlfriend introduced me to the group). So I thought I was all in a good mood/right frame of mind yesterday and, well, after the service I came home to make lunch and boooyyyyy, did I ever take out my repressed anger on the plate and falling-apart sandwich! I mean, I bashed it all right in!!! Slam, slam, slam, SLAM! This rage just came up and I couldn't hold it back. DH was like, "Was that really necessary?" and I said, "Don't judge me" and promptly left the apartment (not totally rude, I did tell him to call me if he needed anything since he has a stomach bug right now, poor soul).

I guess I have not quite moved from the "anger" stage of the grief/healing process.

DH is such an angel. He listens to me go on and on. And I can be so negative at night times about this whole thing. I'm just pissed because, yes, I lost a baby again, but also because, dammit, I was doing so well this summer. I was on a break. I was not checking. I was FINE with that. And then I got pregnant. Baby was SUPPOSED to stick. If you're going to come into my life just like that, you're supposed to STAY. So now I'm back with all the f-ing baggage that I got rid of months ago. Heavy, heavy, heavy.

Of course I have my good days, too. Today I'm fine. I'm already trying to figure out when I can start IVF; counting days on the calendar as if I have any control over this. "Oooo, October looks good." SEE! I haven't learned anything yet!!

Anyway, I'll be on here "on and off." I really do want to follow your beautiful pregnancies, the little ones that have already made it into this world, and just be there for you if I can. But you know, some days it's going to be a bit hard to see all the babies that are joining us and I don't have one to share with you. Don't think that I'm not so happy for you gals who have gotten pregnant and about to have/already had your babies - because I am! - it just reminds of what I don't have yet. And sometimes that makes me sad and I don't like being sad.

All in due time SB, all in due time.

Crumbs - drink some cranberry juice, girl! My mom used to suffer from mad UTIs and swears by the stuff.

to all!

 

[readyORnot]

Soleil, I haven't the words, so

 

[rosababy]

SB, love you girl. Thank you for updating...I think of you often. I'm glad you found a group irl to support you.

 

[MrsPTTC]

Oh Soleil. My heart is breaking for you We're here for you hun I completely understand about the upset at us preggos & mothers. I sometimes found myself getting jealous or upset & it must be so much worse for you having experienced pregnancy. It's great you've got that support group hun. Are there any loss threads you can join on here that can also give you some comfort? When will they have completed their tests? I hope you get some answers. Take care xx

I think a lot about Hopeful & her precious angel. It's so tragic. I hope she is ok & has lots of support. We miss you hopeful xx

 

[MsJMouse]

Oh Soleil - my heart just breaks for you. I am glad you have found a group irl that you can talk to as that was the hardest thing for me last year.

 

[MsJMouse]

Crumbs - I hope you get the infection sorted.

 

[Aisak]

Thinking of you Soleil.

IUI #1 did not work. i managed to get my period the first day of vacation. Of course. IUI #2 will likely be this weekend.